Crazy Girls
by pandagirl247
Summary: Truth or Dare. Rin owns a club. Sango loves Sesshomaru's fluff AHH PERVERTS! Kohaku asks what a lemon is...BUNNY PLUS BUNNY EQUALS MANY BUNNIES Rin don't say that word...Why is it raining cake in Sango's house? LOVE CONFESSIONS! It gets weirder near the end... Me and FireHanyou13 made this completely for fun! I DO APOLOGIZE AHEAD OF TIME but read for a laugh!
1. Truth or Dare

Crazy Girls

Chapter 1: Truth or Dare

Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters...

Thanks to Keira(aka Inukaglove4ever) for helping me with this...

Kagome is a half demon dog and Sango is a half demon bunny!

At Sango's house...

Sango: Let's play truth or dare!

Kagome: Ok! I dare you to go in the closet with Miroku!

Sango: W-what?! He's not even here!

Kagome: Yes he is! *points behind you*

Sango: What?! Miroku you perv! *grabs a book and holds it up in the air* I'm not playing 7 minutes in heaven with that!

Kagome: Oh yes you are!

Sango: Nope! *hits Miroku with the book and throws him out the window*

Miroku: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kagome: Fine...

Sango: You didn't even ask me truth or dare!

Kagome: Fine, truth or dare?

Sango: Truth!

Kagome: What do you think about Miroku- Sango you're gonna fall off the bed!

Sango: *falls on the floor*

Kohaku: *opens the door* Stop making so much noise! I'm trying to watch football!

Sango and Kagome: Sorry!

Kohaku: *leaves*

Sango: Kagome, what was my truth again?

Kagome: Do you love Miroku?

Sango: W-w-why would you ask that?!

Kagome: Sango do you even realize the reason for truth or dare?! Just answer the question!

Sango: Well... Uh... *rolls across the bed onto the floor*

Kagome: *facepalm*

Sango: Hehe...

Kohaku: *opens the door* keep it down! Sota and I are trying to watch football!

Sango and Kagome: Sorry!

Kohaku: *leaves*

Sango: Truth or dare?

Kagome: uh dare!

Sango: I dare you to kiss Sesshy!

Kagome: -.- fine *goes to Sesshy and kisses him then runs away with his fluff*

Sango: *grabs the fluff away from you* yay a souvenir!

Kagome: whatever... Truth or dare?

Sango: dare!

Kagome: I dare you to tie Hojo to the ceiling fan and spin it until his neck breaks!

Sango: umm wouldn't you rather do that yourself?

Kagome: Good point... Ok!

Sango: *helps you tie Hojo to the fan*

Hojo: Ooh what kind of game are we playing Kagome?

Kagome: *smiles evilly* you'll see... *turns fan on*

Hojo: Kagome I'm starting to get siiiiick!

Kagome: Who cares?! *throws anvil*

Sango: Um ok... Truth or dare?

Kagome: Truth!

Sango: What's up with you and the hanyou?

Kagome: *shrugs* I dunno

Inuyasha: *from outside* Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!

Kagome: It means you're still hung up over Kikyo! Now leave me alone! *throws a book at you*

Inuyasha: *silence*

Sango: uhh... Alright then... Your turn...

Kagome: truth or dare?

Sango: dare... Oh no I don't like that look in your eye...

Kagome: I dare you to go in the closet...

Sango: uhhh... Ok... *goes to the closet*

Kagome: *closes the door behind you*

Sango: hello...? Kagome?!

CRASH

Sango: *walks out of closet* that monk is all taken care of...

Kagome: o-ok...

Sango: I'm sure you can only imagine what he tried to do...

Kagome: bunny plus bunny?

Sango: what?

Kagome: bunny plus bunny equals many bunnies!

Sango: -.- whatever... Truth or dare

Kagome: dare!

Sango: I dare you to kiss Koga!

Kagome: Where is he...?

Sango: In the closet!

Kagome: o-ok... *goes in the closet*

Kagome: *comes out of the closet blushing*

Sango: What happened...?

Kagome: You don't wanna know...

Sango: um ok...

Kagome: Truth or dare?

Sango: I'm very scared but... Dare.

Kagome: I dare you to go in the closet again...!

Sango: Fine but it better not be Miroku! *goes in the closet*

*door closes behind her and light turns off in closet*

Sango: Ka-Kagome...?!

Sango: *comes out of closet* It was Koga

Kagome: hehe...

Sango: *goes underneath the bed with Sesshomaru's fluffy*

Kagome: ?

Sango: Truth or dare...?

Kagome: Truth!

Sango: If you could do any one thing to Kikyo what would it be?

Kagome: Throw an anvil at her, throw her off a 50 story building, burn her, drown her in the lake...

Sango: I said one thing not 5 million!

Kagome: whatever... Truth or dare...?

Sango: Dare!

Kagome: I dare you to... Go in the closet again! *Thinks: Sesshy's waiting...*

Sango: Fine but it better not be Miroku OR Koga! *goes in closet*

Kagome: *closes door*

Sango: *comes out of closet* Sesshomaru... Ergh Kagome why, WHY?!

Kagome: no reason...

Sango: *randomly has a dress on*

Kagome: ?!

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	2. Sanity is Overrated

Crazy Girls

Chapter 2: Sanity is Overrated

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters or the real series

Thanks again to Inukaglove4ever!

Still at Sango's place...

Kagome: Um Sango... Are you alright...?

Sango: hmm let's see who's in the closet! *walks in the closet and closes the door behind her*

Kagome?!

Sango: *comes out of closet and falls on the ground*

Kagome: Uhh Sango...? What happened...?

Sango: hehe... Hehehehehehehe!

Kagome: Sango! Answer me!

Sango: *stands up and walks over to the bed then flops down face first*

Kagome: uhh... *looks at my arm* what the... There's a mark!

Sango: It's a mark... From... Koga?! *back to normal*

Kagome: uhh...

Sango: Wait what happened?! Why am I wearing this dress?!

Kagome: Um Sango...?

Sango: OMG KAGOME WHAT DID I DO?!

Kagome: You... Uh...

Sango: Tell me! Was it the monk?!

Kagome: I don't know... You were in the closet...

Sango: uhh wait so you know what happened with you and Koga right...? During the dare...? Yeah I'm not stupid ya know I can figure out what happened!

Kagome: *blushes* u-uh yeah...

Sango: heheh... Well...

Kagome: OMG BUNNY PLUS BUNNY?!

Sango: *hides under the bed* I'll be under here for the next 20 years...

Kagome: why...?

Sango: I'm hiding from Miroku... And trying very hard not to look at my arm...

Kagome: *shakes head* You are not spending the rest of your life under there! *drags Sango out*

Sango: But wait...! I left my fluffy under there!

Kagome: Too bad

Sango: Umm you know Inuyasha's gonna be pretty pissed off when he finds out what you did...

Kagome: It was your dare! And besides, I plan on killing Koga before Inuyasha finds out!

Sango: But he'll see the mark! You should let him see it and then he'll kill Koga himself, otherwise he'll take his anger out on you!

Kagome: I guess...

Sango: Will you please check my arm to see if there's a mark...?

Kagome: Sango there's nothing there!

Sango: Really?!

Kagome: Yeah! And... Mine disappeared too!

Sango: *sits up* really?!

Kagome: yeah!

Sango: *goes insane again* hehehehehehehe...

Kagome: uhhh...

Sango: *walks out of the room*

Sango: *walks back in and falls on the ground next to the bed*

Kagome: Sango?! What happened?!

Sango: Hehehe... Bunny plus bunny...

Kagome: OH MY GOD! NOT AGAIN!

Sango: heheh...

Kagome: *goes insane*

Sango: *goes normal*

Kagome: *leaves the room*

Sango: ...

Sango: *is huddled in the corner with two pillows and the fluffy*

Kagome: *walks back in and falls on the ground*

Sango: Kagome... Are you alright...?

Sesshomaru: *knocks out Kagome*

Sango: NUUUUUUUUUUUU!

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	3. Clubbing

Crazy Girls

Chapter 3: Clubbing

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT OK!

Thanks inkaglove4ever

Still at Sango's

Sango: I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR FLUFFY BACK IF YOU REVIVE KAGOME WITH YOUR TENSEIGA!

Sesshomaru: *takes fluffy and revives her then leaves*

Sango: YAY!

Kagome: *wakes up* WE'RE GOING CLUBBING!

Sango: what the...

Kagome: *gives Sango a fake ID and has one for herself* Let's go!

Sango: Right now?!

Kagome: Yeah, you're already wearing a dress!

Sango: ok... But seriously?!

Kagome: Yes, RIGHT NOW!

Sango: But what if Inuyasha and Miroku are there?!

Kagome: Rin owns the club, she only lets Sesshy in.

Sango: Oh yeah...

-At the outside of the club-

Kagome: But we're Rin's cousins! *calls Rin* see for yourself!

Rin: LET THEM IN OR I'LL KILL YOU!

Kagome: Thanks cuz!

Sango: She must have gotten ahold of my chainsaw again...

Kagome: I thought I hid that thing...

Sango: You know Rin, she has her ways... *imagines Rin holding her chainsaw*

Kagome and Sango: *dancing*

Miroku: My my, ladies, what do we have here?

Sango: Miroku! Get out!

Miroku: But Sango-

Sango: LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm tryin to have some fun with my best friend SPECIFICALLY WITHOUT YOU!

Miroku: Fine then... I'll just go dance with those lovely women over there...

Sango: You lech! *hits him with her wallet* Damnit I wish I had something bigger to hit him with...

Miroku: What? You said to leave you alone so I shall go over and bother someone else, isn't that what you wanted?

Sango: No I wanted you to GET OUT!

Miroku: Fine, fine, but you can't avoid me forever...

Sango: I'm warning you monk...

Miroku: By the way did you know Inuyasha's here too?

Kagome: he better not be with Kikyo...

Sango: *sees Inuyasha* better think again

Kagome: Grr! He is so DEAD! I mean seriously even after what happened earlier...

Kagome and Sango: *are magically home*

Sango: Wait what did happen earlier?

Kagome: Well when I went insane I kind of... Uh...

Sango: Dog plus dog?

Kagome: Yeah...

Sango: Well I guess we're the same then...

Kagome: *hears noise* Do you hear that?

Sango: Yeah, it's coming from the closet!

Kagome: *sniffs the air* I think it's Koga!

Sango: Hmm... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Kagome: *calls Ayame* Hey Ayame? Guess what? Koga's trapped in a closet!

Sango: You wanna play seven minutes in heaven with him...?

Ayame: *randomly appears in the room* I'm here!

Sango and Kagome: *show Ayame to the closet*

Ayame: *goes inside and you can hear Koga protesting*

Ayame and Koga: *are still in the closet*

Sango and Kagome: ...WOLF PLUS WOLF!

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	4. Happy Endings

Crazy Girls

Chapter 4: Happy Endings

Disclaimer: Don't Own

Thanks inukaglove4ever for all of your help/ideas

At Sango's

Sango and Kagome: *are in bed watching anime*

Miroku and Inuyasha: *walk in*

Sango: *gets up* PERVERT!

Kagome: Sit boy!

Sango: *chases Miroku out of the room*

Inuyasha: *is lying on the ground*

Miroku: *runs back in the room and tries to hide in the closet*

Sango: *chases him bak in and picks up a guitar*

Miroku: *gets chased out of the closet by Koga and is now cornered*

Kagome: Batter's up!

Sango: *hits Miroku with the guitar*

Miroku: *flies out the window*

Kagome: Inuyasha you better get out of here! You have 3 seconds!

Inuyasha: *runs out of the room*

-later on-

Kagome and Sango: *are half asleep*

Miroku: *climbs in the bed on Sango's side*

Sango: *wakes up and slaps him then turns around but doesn't bother chasing him out because she's too tired*

Kagome: *hears the slap and wakes up* what the...

Inuyasha: *is in bed next to Kagome*

Kagome: *sees Inuyasha* ahh!

Miroku: *gropes Sango*

Sango: *slaps Miroku* you perv

Miroku: *gropes Kagome*

Kagome: *slaps him*

Inuyasha: *threatens to kill Miroku if he doesn't keep his hands off*

Miroku: Alright, alright Inuyasha... *cowers behind Sango* I like Sango better anyways...

Sango: *falls asleep and randomly turns to face Miroku in her sleep*

Inuyasha and Kagome: *asleep*

Miroku: *falls asleep*

Koga and Ayame: *Still in the closet making cubs*

XD hope you liked it


	5. Perverted Spies

Crazy Girls

Chapter 5: Perverted Spies

Disclaimer: IT'S CALLED A DISCLAIMER YOU IDIOT!

inukaglove4ever is awesome

Sango's houseeeee

Kagome and Sango: *wake up*

Sango: Hi... Kagome...

Kagome: Hai San!

Sango: Where's Miroku... And Inuyasha...

Kagome: They're tied up in the corner.

Sango: why...?

Kagome: Cuz they tried to grope us in our sleep!

Sango: Oh... Well I was asleep so I didn't notice...

Kagome: hm

Sango: Are Koga and Ayame still in the closet?

Kagome: Yeah, but I can get them out.

Sango: ?

Kagome: Oh no! It's the cops!

Koga and Ayame: *run out of the closet half naked and out the door*

Kagome and Sango: Eww gross! *cover eyes*

Sango: Well that was... Interesting...

Kagome: Inuyasha was looking! Sit boy!

Sango: Miroku! Why would you teach Inuyasha your perverted ways?!

Kagome: I can fix this! *puts duct tape over Miroku and Inuyasha's mouth and eyes*

Sango: Um ok... But they can still hear us...

Kagome: *puts earplugs in their ears*

Sango: uhh ok...

Kagome: So what should we do...?

Sango: I think we should untie them and let them wander around the room!

Kagome: ok! *unties Miroku* AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sango: I think you should let me deal with him...

Kagome: *unties Inuyasha* ok

Sango: also take the earplugs out so they can hear us yell at them...

Kagome: good idea. *takes earplugs out*

Sango: now stay a few feet away and watch the show...

Kagome: hey can I have a piece of chocolate?

Sango: sure, but it's in the drawer behind the monk...

Kagome: *ties up Miroku again and stands on him*

Sango: um ok... *gets the chocolate*

Kagome: thanks

Sango: *unties Miroku* now both of you GET OUT!

Miroku and Inuyasha: *runs out of room*

Sango: hey look it's Sesshomaru's fluffy! *gets up to get the fluffy and almost gets pulled under the bed*

Kagome: ?!

Sango: STUPID IDIOT MONK! *steps on Miroku's hand and leaps onto the bed*

Kagome: O.O

Sango: -.-

Kagome: *gets up to throw chocolate wrapper away and almost gets pulled under* what the- Sesshy?!

Sango: 0.0

Kagome: Sango, hand me an axe.

Sango: um ok...

Kagome: *chops Sesshy into pieces and throws him into the neighbor's garden*

Sango: Kagome! What's Rin going to say?!

Kagome: I dunno...

Sango: okayy...

Kagome: Hehe... Hehehehehehehe...

Sango: I wonder if Miroku's still under the bed... *sticks her head over the side and almost gets pulled under again*

Kagome: *helps you up* bad idea.

Sango: Yeah...

Kagome: I'll be right back! *leaves*

Sango: Hey! Don't leave me here with the pervert!

Kagome: *reenters*

Sango: *is under the bed with Sesshy's fluffy*

Kagome: San? You there?

Sango: I'm under here... I took care of the monk...

Kagome: But why are you under there?

Sango: Cuz I can be!

Kohaku: *opens the door* Breakfast's ready!

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	6. Breakfast Time!

Crazy Girls

Chapter 6: Breakfast Time!

Disclaimer: I seriously don't own it if you don't believe me that's your problem

Inukaglove4ever helped me a lot!

Sango's Hizzy House

-At Breakfast-

Kohaku: Lemon!

Sango and Kagome: O.O

Kohaku: What?

Sango: Kagome don't say a word...

Kohaku: What's a lemon?!

Kagome: *covers mouth trying to hold in laughter*

Sango: Kagome...

Kohaku: Lemon lemon lemon lemon lemon!

Kagome: *tries harder to hold in laughter*

Sango: *facepalm*

Kohaku: WHAT DOES LEMON MEAN?!

Sango:NOTHING!

Kagome: *Doing her best not to tell a soul about what a lemon is.*

Kohaku: Come on tell me!

Sango and Kagome: NOOO!

Kohaku: LEMON LEMON LEMON LEMON!

Sango: Come on Kagome we're leaving *grabs Kagome's hand and drags her upstairs*

Kagome: *bursts out laughing once they get to the room*

Sango: At least you didn't end up telling him...

Miroku and Inuyasha: *enter*

Sango and Kagome: GET OUT! PERVERTS!

Miroku: But Sango-

Sango: Leave us alone!

Inuyasha: Kagome I-

Kagome: GET OUT!

Miroku and Inuyasha: *leave*

Sango: I'm sorry what Miroku did to Inuyasha...

Kagome: Yeah... But I can change that... *smiles and laughs evilly*

Sango: Honestly Kagome, sometimes you're scarier than me.

Sango: *rolls underneath the bed holding the fluffy*

Kagome: ?!

Sango: I'm taking a nap!

Kagome: No you're not! *grabs the fluffy and pulls it away*

Sango: No! *holds onto fluffy*

Kagome: *drags Sango around the room*

Sango: *doesn't let go of fluffy*

Kagome: Let go!

Sango: No!

Kagome: Hey look it's Miroku!

Sango: where?!

Kagome: *yanks the fluff away and throws it in the closet*

Sango: hey! *goes insane*

Kagome: ?!

Sango: I want my fluffy back!

Kagome: Well then go get it! Miroku's in there too by the way...

Sango: *goes in the closet and shuts the door*

Kagome?!

Sango: *comes out holding fluffy and falls on the ground*

Kagome: *sits on her back*

Sango: *sleeps*

Kagome: *gets up* Sango! Wake up!

Sango: *wakes up normal* What just happened?!

Kagome: Uhh you went in the closet to get your fluffy...

Sango: and?!

Kagome: Miroku was there...

Sango: *goes under the bed with the fluffy*

Kagome: ?!

Sango: I'll be under here for a while

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	7. Bunny Plus Bunny

Crazy Girls

Chapter 7: Bunny Plus Bunny

Disclaimer: Don't own it -.-

Thanks to inukaglove4ever

Still at Sango's!

Miroku: *walks in*

Kagome: Miroku!

Miroku: Hello lady Kagome.

Kagome: uhh... There are a bunch of young women in the back yard!

Miroku: really?!

Kagome: yes! And they're wearing bikinis!

Miroku: *jumps out the window*

Sango: Kagome! What was that for?!

Kagome: *shrugs* I wanted him to get out.

Sango: But that means he doesn't like me...

Kagome: ?!

Sango: My bunny ran away from me...

Kagome: he didn't run away I pushed him out the window.

Sango: My fluffy bunny doesn't like me anymore...

Kagome: yes he does!

Sango: no he doesn't...

Kagome: !

Sango: I'm not coming out.. I'm going to stay under here for the next 20 years...

Kagome: Sango! You can't stay under there forever!

Sango well too bad...

Kagome: Sango!

Sango: My life is over... My fluffy bunny ran away...

Kagome: He didn't run away!

Sango: But he doesn't like me... He went off to be with other women...

Kagome: Sango! He does love you he just doesn't know how to express it!

Sango: No... He doesn't like me... He doesn't like me any more than any other woman!

Kagome: No he loves you!

Sango: No... He doesn't care...

Kagome: Sango, I really don't feel like arguing right now. He loves you.

Sango: Bunny plus bunny equals bunny gets slapped by other bunny. Bunny plus bunny equals bunny doesn't love bunny anymore and other bunny is under the bed and bunny doesn't care about bunny even though bunny loved bunny.

Kagome: ?!

Sango: Houshi-sama... Bunny plus bunny... Bunny plus bunny equals many bunnies..

Kagome: Sango!

Miroku: *walks in*

Kagome: Miroku!

Miroku: Yes lady Kagome?

Kagome: will you write a message for Sango?

Miroku: of course *writes a note*

Kagome: thanks!

Miroku: *puts note next to the bed then walks away*

Kagome: Sango, Miroku wrote you a note...

Sango: I'm not coming out.

Kagome: you don't have to he put it next to you.

Sango: *reads note then blushes*

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	8. Mating Marks

Crazy Girls

Chapter 8: Mating Marks

Disclaimer: I wish I owned it -.-

Inukaglove4ever! xD

Sango's place

Note: Sango I love you. Never think otherwise. ~Miroku

Sango: u-uh...

Kagome: did you see the note?

Sango: yes...

Kagome: see? I was right.

Sango: *comes out from under the bed* bunny plus bunny equals many bunnies...

Kagome: yup

Sango: Hey where's the hanyou?

Kagome: on the ceiling.

Sango: how'd he get up there?!

Kagome: he has suction cup thingys on the bottom of his feet.

Sango: um ok...

Kagome: Miroku's under the bed!

Sango: *backs up against the wall* why?!

Kagome: cuz he's a pervert.

Kagome: I wonder what would happen if I made Inuyasha S-I-T...

Sango: He would land on top of you.

Kagome: Sit boy!

Inuyasha: *falls on top of Kagome*

Sango: *rolls underneath the bed*

Aaaand that's it for now... You can only imagine what happens after that... If you want more plz review xP


	9. We Have Problems

Crazy Girls

Chapter 9: We Have Problems...

Disclaimer: I. DO. NOT. OWN. THE. HANYOU. OR ANY OF HIS LITTLE FRIENDS

-Still At Sango's Place-

Kagome: PERVERTED DOG!

Rin:NO GROPING PERVERTED OLD DOG!

Sango: *randomly has a tv and hits Miroku with it*

Kagome: *Whacks Rin for possesing kagome*

Sango: *crawls out from under the bed* there might be an unconscious monk under the bed...

Sesshy: *Magicaly back to life murderous look on face...*

Sango: oh no I think he's mad Kagome...

Kagome: Epp! gotta go help me inuyasha!

Kagome: Oh wait i kno!

Kagome: *Calls rin*

Sango: *hides under the bed*

Miroku: *unconscious*

Rin: *Magicaly appears in Kagome's house.*

Sango: *has Sesshy's fluffy*

Rin:Where's my sesshy?!

Rin: *Holds up chainsaw and turns it on growling at Kagome and Sango*

Kagome and Sango: 0.0

Sango: *is still under da bed and sadly pushes the fluff out into the open* here's your fluff back...

Rin: no not THAT thing im talking about my sesshy-chan...

Kagome and Sango: Sesshy-Chan?

Sango: then can I keep the fluff?

Kagome and Sango: *Burst out laughing.*

Rin:Sure i dont care.

Sango: yay!

Kagome: *Goes insane YET AGAIN.*

Sango: oh crap *goes back under the bed*

Kagome: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE

Kagome: Puppy plus Puppy equals many puppies!

Sango: Gahh!

Kagome: BUNNY PLUS BUNNY EQUALS MANY BUNNIES!

Sango: 0.0

Kagome: Hehehehehehe

Sango: Hmm I wonder who's in the closet...

Kagome: No sango dont go in der!

Sango: lol I'm not going in there I wanted to get you back to normal!

Kagome: But I'm still insane... I'm not normal rite now... I'm just bein rational

Kagome: Wolf plus Wolf=Many Wolf Cubs!

Sango: Well then you're going in the closet! (AyaKog isn't in there) *pushes you into da closet*

Kagome: *Runs out wif wide eyes*

Sango: Nope! Unless you go back to normal you're goin in da closet!

Kagome: i AM normal i just went back to normal...!

Sango: Too late! *pushes you in the closet nd closes da door*

Kagome: Huh ahhhhh Miroku get out stupid lecher!

Sango: *opens the closet door* I thought Miroku was unconscious!

Kagome: Human plus Human! NUUUUUUUUUU INUYASHA WILL KILL MEH!

Sango: *pulls Kagome out of the closet* NOTHING JUST HAPPENED RIGHT?! Wait I thought you were a half demon..?

Kagome: oops tonight is my human nite imma be killed by inu!

Sango: Crap! Wait Miroku didn't actually do anything right..?

Kagome: Yea he did human plus human force

Sango: OH. MY. GOD. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!He said never to think otherwise about him loving me but he's a LIER! *goes under the bed*

Kagome: dont stay thr all ur life its pathetic

Kagome: Although im da one goin to mah best friend who love dis pervert

Sango: My life is over... Miroku really doesn't love me... Even the note was a lie...

Sango: *holds the fluff* stupid houshi...

Kagome: dont beat urself up bout it come on were gettin icecream!

Sango: no thanks... I'm not leaving but if you bring me ice cream I'll eat it...

Kagome: U'll eat da icecream on da bed or none at all got it?

Sango: fine then... I'm staying under here... *secretly really wants icecream*

Kagome: Mhhhh! I just LOVE icecream! if only my best friend would come out and savor the taste! (Sigh)

Sango: Nooooo stawwwwp

Kagome: MHHHHHH!

Sango: Ahh! I can't take it anymore! *comes out and grabs the icecream away from Kagome then goes back under the bed with it*

Inuyasha: Kagome stop it sounds like your doing something else in there!

Kagome: Ahhhh pervert! *SSSLLLAAAPPP!*

Sango: *eats all of your ice cream then gives you back the tub*

TO BE CONTINUED!

ATTENTION- THIS CHAPTER WAS COPIED DIRECTLY FROM AN RO ON KIK SO ANYTHING KAGOME OR RIN WRITES CAME DIRECTLY FROM Inukaglove4ever AND ANYTHING SANGO WRITES CAME DIRECTLY FROM MEE! This includes typos that I did not fix


	10. RANDOMNESS

Crazy Girls

Chapter 10: RANDOMNESS

Disclaimer: same thing as before...

We're still at Sango's no sudden change in setting

Sango: *under the bed*

Kagome: *drags Sango out from under the bed*

Sango: *sees a dead Miroku on the ground and goes back under the bed* well now he's dead... That doesn't really help much...

Kagome: what? I solved your problem didn't i?

Sango: no... He's actually dead... I'm sad...

Kagome: you want tenseiga?

Sango: *comes out from under the bed takes tenseiga and stabs Miroku with it, then goes back under the bed*

Kagome: ?

Sango: now I'm under the bed for other reasons...

Kagome: Sango! Bunny does love bunny!

Sango: but Miroku's human, and so are you...

Kagome: I'm a half demon!

Sango: but it's night of the new moon...

Kagome: well still

Sango: no... I'll be under here for the next 50 years... Or at least until he dies of natural causes...

Kagome: *chases Miroku out of the room with Rin's chainsaw*

Sango: For now ima go to sleep...

Kagome: San-go! You have to come out!

Sango: no... I'm good...

Kagome: grrr

Sango: you're lucky I'm not mad at you..,

Kagome: why am I lucky?

Sango: because I was the one who pushed you into the closet while you were insane...

Kagome: still! You can't stay under there forever!

Sango: I'm a half demon, watch me.

Kagome: grr

Sango: hehe

Kagome: hey do you still have a mating mark from Roku?

Sango: O/O no...

Kagome: lemme see if I have one from Inu *checks*

Sango: but you said you don't cuz of Kikyo

Kagome: AHHHH I DOO! WHT IS INU GONNA THINK?! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Sango: What do u mean what is he gonna think?! Maybe he didn't actually do anything with Kikyo he loves u at leas freaking out?!

Kagome: CUZ HE MIGHT NOT LOVE MEH EVA THINK OF DAT?!

Sango: Of course Inu loves you why the hell would you ever think otherwise?!

Kagome: (Thinking albeit flighty.) Hey y do u not cuss in school but u sumtimes cuss at home?

Sango: Cuz I can, deal with it

Kagome: I can deal wif it can u?!

Sango: I'm a half demon 'course I can!

Kagome: IM A HANYOU TOO!

Sango: then you can deal with it

Kagome: CUZ IM AWESOME!

Sango: WATERMELONS ARE AMAZING

Sango: SO ARE PANDAS

Sango: AND BUNNIES

Sango: FLUFFEH BUNNEH!

Kagome: lol

Sango: Kagome ima come out from under the bed now

Kagome: OKEY OKEY

Sango: IDK WHAT IM SAYING! IM GOING INSANE!

Kagome: This Kagome does not care.

Sango: crap.

Kagome: I forgot my Skype account

Sango: ϵ( 'Θ' )϶

Kagome: it's kay i can just go to mah old computa nd use dat to find da account password and. username

Sango: Three words: WA-TER-MELONS!

Kagome: Thats a whole word not three

Sango: ITS THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Heheheehehhehehehehhehehehhehehehehehhehehehehehhe...

Kagome: Rins tryin to posses me!

Sango: OMGGGGGG

Kagome(or Rin..?): HAIZ SANGO! I HAV SUCSEEDED IN POSSESING KAGZ!

Sango: GAHHHHHHHH DONT HURT MEEEEE

-TO BE CONTINUED-

Half of this was copied from kik


	11. Levels of Insanity

Crazy Girls

Chapter 11: Level of Insanity

Disclaimer: it's a disclaimer

Sango owns a house. That's where they are.

Kagome: *still possessed by Rin* *Hides under bed.* I think I'll hide here fow a while

Sango: OH NO U DONT! That's my hiding spot!

Kagome: *is on a leash*

Sango: *drags you out from under the bed and ties your leash to the doorknob then goes under the bed*

Kagome: I HAVE INUYASHA TIED UP IN THE CLOSET!

Sango: *sticks head out from under the bed* wtf?!

Kagome: yup!

Sango: hey where's Miroku? *is totally over the whole bunny doesn't love bunny thing*

Kagome: He's out on a pole at our school on the flag pole...

Sango: WTH WHY?!

Kagome: He tried to grope me and you while we were asleep

Sango: WELL YOU COULDA WOKE MEH UP ND LET ME PUNISH HIM MYSELF!

Sango: *grabs ginormous frying pan and goes to find Miroku*

Sango: *comes back still holding frying pan* he's all taken care of... *goes under the bed*

Kagome: *Magically has a burnin hot coil goes into closet whr inuyasha is tied up.*

Sango: uhhh

Kagome: *comes out a second later eyes wide and stuttering*

Sango: What... Happened...

Inuyasha: *magically comes out untied and is smirking which causes Kagome to blush furiously*

Sango: OMG DOGGY PLUS DOGGY!

Kagome: ALMOST DOGGY PLUS DOGGY!

Sango: INUKAG! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Kagome: He tried but i gave him a surprise to last a few generations

Sango: ?

Kagome: Kicked him whr it hurts da most!

Sango: Omg HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kagome: ikr

Sango: WATERMELONS

Kagome: ?

Sango: Wait wtf I JUST WENT INSANE!

Sango: WATERMELONS ARE NAMED BOB LIKE A SHEEP SITTING ON A CAMEL

Sango: IMA BUNNEHHHHH LIKE WOOHOOO I WATCHED SEINFELD EARLIER ND OMG HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA WTH ISH GOING ON?

Kagome: Ummm u went insane AGAIN!

Sango: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH OOH LOOK A CLOSET ITS EMPTY RIIIIIGHT?

Sango: *GOES IN THE CLOSET AND PUNCHES MIROKU IN DA FACE*

Sango: I WANT CHOCOLATE NOW GIMME SUMMMMMMMM

Kagome: But I don't have chocolate

Sango: WELL THEN GET SUMMMMMMM

Kagome: I cant its 9:00 at night barely anything is open!

Sango: OwOwOwOwOwOwO

Kagome: *Goes insane yet again along wif Sango-Chan

Sango: OH LOOK A CLOSET

Kagome: yay just a lil but longa nd mah ipod will be fully charged!

Sango: whatevaaaaa *goes in the closet*

Kagome: Um san? Mirokus in der.

Sango: *comes out with weird look on face*

Miroku: *comes out with a giant red slap mark on his face*

Kagome: 0.o

Sango: *goes under the bed* stupid bunny...

Kagome: OMG NOT AGAIN! NUUUUU BUNNY PLUS BUNNY!

Sango: *silence*

Kagome: *Akward silence.*

Sango: hehe... Hehehehehehehe... HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEE

Kagome: 0.o

Sango: *is permanently insane unless something is done about it*

Sango: BUNNEH PLUS BUNNEH EQUALS MANY BUNNEHS RUNNIN AROUND DA HOUSE DROPPING BOMBS EVERYWHERE

Kagome: WHY

Sango: KAGOME I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE AND I WANT IT NOW

Kagome: But i don't hav any chocolate u hav chocolate

Sango: *silence*

Kagome: Whteva

Miroku: may I make a suggestion?

Kagome and Sango: NOOOOOOO!

Sango: *throws a TV at Miroku* you're gonna pay for that right?

Miroku: of course...

Kagome: OH YEA HE WILL I BOUGHT DAT TV FOW U DAMNIT SAN

Sango: WATERMELONS

Kagome: Why?

Sango: CUZ WHY NOT

Miroku: I'm just gonna leave now...

InuYasha: Dont question women it just leads to pain.

Kagome: WHAT WUZ DAT?!

Sango: WHEN DID U COME IN?! KAGOME TAKE HIM TO THE CLOSET

Sango: Remember Kagome there is a way to make me my normal amount of sanity if you don't find it I'll be like this FOREVER

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	12. Half Demons

Crazy Girls

Chapter 12: Half Demons

At Sango's houseeeeee

Kagome: San I don't remember how to make you normal again!

Sango: BUT THERE IS A WAY

Kagome: hey wht do you mean thrs a way to get u back to normal

Sango: YOU HAVE TO- *falls on the floor asleep*

Kagome: OMG DID ROKU BUNNY PLUS FORCED BUNNY ON YOU?!

Sango: *fake snores*

Kagome: god damn u!

Sango: *flips over on my back then starts to dance while still on the floor*

Kagome: hey san?

Sango: *springs up from the floor and stands* wht?

Kagome: inuyasha's hurr nd he keeps gropin meh in his sleep!

Sango: why the hell ish he asleep?!

Kagome: cuz i gave him Benadryl

Sango: wait I'm not currently insane!

Kagome: i am!

Sango: Crapnuggets

Kagome: dontcha mean shitnuggets?

Sango: *goes under the bed*

Kagome: *rolls eyes*

Sango: *comes out from under the bed* We should play truth or dare again!

Kagome: what about all the other characters in your house?

Sango: I'll take care of that! *snaps fingers and they all disappear*

Kagome: ok, truth or dare?

Sango: truth!

Kagome: how do you feel about Tomoe...?

Sango: Tomoe? He's my anime crush...!

Kagome: lol

Sango: truth or dare?

Kagome: truth

Sango: I truth you to...

Kagome: XD

Sango: When is your human night?

Kagome: full moon...

Sango: which is in five seconds!

1... 2... 3... 4... 5...

Kagome: I feel weak...

Sango: well guess what...?

Kagome: ?

Sango: I'm human tonight too...

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	13. PIIIZAAA

Crazy Girls

Chapter 13: PIIIZAAA

Kagome: I'm hearing the voices again!

Sango: wtf

Kagome: Plzz help me

Rin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAIZZZZ SANNIE I HAV POSSESSED KAGGIE AGAIN!

Sango: -.- crapnuggets

Kagome: SANGO HELP ME SHE IS PLANTING RAINBOWS AND KILLING PEOPLE WITH CHAINSAWS IN MY HEAD!

*fluffy enters and knock Rin over the head*

Rin: *knocked out*

Kagome: Jesus finally got Rin to stop possessing me!

Sango: what are we gonna do with a passed out Rin..?

Kagome: uhhhh closet?

Sango: but what if someone's in the closet...?

Sesshy: I'll take her

Kagome: thanks Sesshy

Sesshy: *picks Rin up and starts walking*

Sango: Not to the closet! Get her out of here!

Kagome: Ayame and Koga are in there Sesshy!

Sesshy: *sigh* Fiiine *flies out the window*

Sango: *still has Sesshy's fluff*

Sango: I'm going to go take a shower! Please keep the perverts out of the bathroom! *glares at Houshi-sama*

Kagome: *has Hoshi-sama tied up*

Sango: *comes back* WTF DID YOU DO TO MIROKU-KUN?!

Kagome: Uhhhhhhhh-OH LOOK! IT'S TOMOE!

Sango: -.- like I'd fall for that

Kagome: you fell for it when I saw Roku was behind you!

Sango: I-I didn't! Now untie him!

Kagome: Damnit Sango I was just tryna help that stupid frickin perv was tryna sneak out so I jumped on him til he passed out!

Sango: but... I just asked you to keep him out..! I didn't mean tie him up...!

Kagome: Couldn't be helped he was still struggling with me I had to get Inuyaha to help out

Sango: *sigh* well then let him go. I'll take care of him next time...

Kagome: Now he's tied up on the ceiling wif hoho

Sango: *unties Roku and he almost falls on her but she jumps away in time and he hits the floor face-first*

Kagome: WOW YOU CREATED A SIT COMMAND OF CHUR OWN!

Sango: uh...

Inuyasha: *faceplants at the word* DAMNIT KAGOME STOP DOING DAT DAMNT!

Sango: WTF SANTA IS STEALING MY PIZZA

Rin: *bursts into the room* THE GUYS ARE PERFORMING AN EXORCISM

Kagome: WAIT WHT HOW R CHU STILL HURR SESSHY CARRIED CHU AWAY!

Rin: HES DOING THE EXORCISM TOO

Sango: wtf...?

Rin: THEY PUT A BOX OF PIZZA IN THE CENTER OF A CIRCLE THING WITH WEIRD DESIGNS ON IT AND ARE TRYING TO CONTACT SATAN BY OFFERING HIM PIZZA

Kagome: WTF IS RONG WIF OUR MEN?!

Sango: IDK UR THE ONE WHO FOUND INUYASHA PINNED TO THE TREE! YOU STARTED IT!

Kagome: UR DA ONE WHO ISH IN LUV WIF A FUCKIN PERVERT

Rin: GUYS DONT ARGUE JUST COME DOWNSTAIRS AND STOP THEM

Kagome: Fine... Lets go...

All: *rush downstairs*

Inuyasha, Roku, and Sesshy: COME, COME, COME OUR SATANIC LORD FOR WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU THE GREATEST GIFT IN ALL OF MANKIND

Kohaku and Sota: *huddled together nd whimpering*

Sango: WTF ARE YOU GUYS DOING WITH MY PIZZA?!

Kagome: EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK UP GET OUT UR FUCKIN TEXTBOOKS AND LETS WRITE SOME FUCKIN POETRY!

Naraku: *rises up in a cloud of mist above the pizza* sup bishessss

Everyone else: O.O

Kagome: Oh fuck... DO YA SEE WHT YOU FUCKIN MORONS DID NOW?! NOW CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKIN MESS OR ILL KICK YOUR ASS TO NEXT WEEK!

Sango: NARAKU IS STEALING MY FRUCKIN PIZZA

Miroku: *starts wrestling Naraku for the pizza*

Naraku: *sets Roku on fire*

Sango: *facepalm*

Sesshomaru: well we might as well just sit back and watch the show now...

*miroku starts rolling around on the ground screaming*

Kagome: *sigh* I'll get the extinguisher

Kagome: *stops Miroku from burnin to death*

-once the show is over-

Naraku: BYE BISHESSSS

Sango: Miroku I'm leaving you for Tomoe

Tomoe: *appears*

Sango: *jumps into his arms* byeee

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	14. My OTP

Crazy Girls

Chapter 14: My OTP

Thanks to FireHanyou13 who used to be Inukaglove4ever bc this is still our rp!

Kagome: Well that was entirely random all in itself

Miroku: SANGOOOOO WHY MUST YOU LEAVE MEEEEE

Kagome: Here hav some cake...

Everyone: *tries to get the cake*

Miroku: oooh cake...

Kagome: Knew it *smirks*

Sango: *is gone with Tomoe doing who-knows-what*

Sango: *returns* hey wasup

Kagome: not much

Miroku: I thought you were with Tomoe.

Sango: Oh, come on Miroku! You can't be that mad!

Hey... Is that cake?! Give me some!

Kagome: WHAT I JUST MADE SOME! WHO TOOK MY CAKE?! INUYASHA WAS IT YOU?! PERVERTED CAKE STEALING IDIOT!

Sango: ehh... I'm just gonna go upstairs...

Miroku: ok *rubs bottom*

Sango: WTF YOU PERV! *throws refrigerator at Miroku*

Kagome: Sango let's not go over-

Inuyasha: *kisses you*

Kagome: *blushes profusely*

Sango: *eyes on you two*

Miroku: Sango we should-

Sango: *knocks out Miroku without even looking at him*

Kagome: Ya kno I may be able to put up wif his antics...

Sango: *fangirl squeals* MY OTP!

Kagome: Take it easy Sango... *still blushing and trying to shut Sango up*

Inuyasha: *blinks* wait did I just...

Kagome: Don't you remember?! *tears gathering in eyes*

Inuyasha: no, no! Of course I remember, Kagome. I'm just surprised that I did it. N-not that I didn't want to!

Kagome: *still sniffles* Really?

Inuyasha: well... Uh... *blsuhing* o-of course... *scratches head*

Kagome: YAY! *jumps to hug Inu*

Inuyasha: *surprised but then hugs back*

Kagome: So do you wanna stop Sango from squealing InuKag?

Inuyasha: I could put up with it... But it hurts my ears -.-'

Sango: eheh... Whoops...

Kagome: Ahhhhh Sango monk hand at four a clock!

Sango: *grabs Roku's arm and twists it* WTF DONT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO DO THAT RN IM TRYING TO ENJOY MY OTP MOMENT

Roku: *sounds like Akihisa being beaten my Minami*

Kagome: Uhhhhh I'm just gonna take Inu here nd go to *whispers last part to Sango*

Inuyasha: *hears nd blushes but complies*

Sango: *turns towards you looking pure happy and dreamy while still twisting Miroku's arm* ok! Have fun! *turns back to Roku* YOU PERVERTED FLIRTING CHEAT!

Rin: Sango you're scaring me...

Sango: wait where did you come from?!

Rin: I've been here the whole time!

Sango: oh, right.

Rin: That's rude forgetting your friend is even there...

Sango: sorry I've been busy fangirling over my OTP and murdering my boyfriend...

Miroku: Wait I thought you left me!

Sango: *twists arm*

Rin: Should I stick Fluffy-Sama on him?

Sango: no; that won't be necessary. He'll pass out in a few seconds.

Kagome: *in her own house family gone makin pups wif Inu-kun*

Sango: anyways we should go back to your club sometime, Rin. I- WAIT! MY OTP IS DOING SOMETHING WORTH FANGIRLING ABOUT I CAN SENSE IT!

Kagome: *from her house* SHUT UP SANGO IM DOIN BUSINESS WIF MAH MAN DAMNIT!

Sango: aww I just got yelled at...

Rin: ?

*the sun comes up*

Sango: YES IM A HALF DEMON AGAIN!

Miroku: *sends perverted spirits to spy on Kagome nd Yasha*

Kagome: MIROKU GET UR DAMN PERVERTED SPIRIT OUTTA HERE OR IMMA GO ND BEAT UR ASS!

Sango: MIROKU WTF DID YOU DO?! Wtvr I WANNA SEE MY OTP!

Kagome: *blushing* WELL NOT RITE NOW DAMNIT!

Sango: I WASNT TALKING TO YOU KAGZ

Rin: yyyeeeaaahhhh I'm just gonna go now...

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	15. No More Fluffybunny

Crazy Girls

Chapter 15: No More Fluffybunny

FireHanyou13 should be followed!

I apologize ahead of time for the craziness

-The Next Day-

Kagome: *ish back fwom... yeah now so ish Inu*

Sango: KAGOME!

Sango: hmm, I don't know, YOU FUCKED YOUR BOYFRIEND

Kagome: I think Miroku spiked mah drink last nite...

Sango: IDC MY OTP WAS FRICKLEFRACKING

Miroku: ehh... Sango have you gone crazy?!

Inuyasha: *blushing at Sango's bluntness nd kills Roku*

Sango: ITS NOT HIS FAULT OK INUYASHA WAS THE ONE WHO KISSED YOU

Kagome: Want Tenseiga?

Sango: tenseiga would be nice... SESSHOMARU I WILL MAKE YOU A DEAL ILL GIVE CHU UR FLUFF BACK IF YOU REVIVE ROKU

Sesshomaru: This Sesshomaru does not want the "fluff"

Sango: RIN YOU HAVE TO COME MAKE SESSHY REVIVE ROKU

Kagome: Ummm I think Rin's tryna tak ova me again!

Sango: WELL THEN WHO THE HELL IS SUPPOSED TO REVIVE MY FLUFFYBUNNY

Kagome: *goes insane fow da millionth time*

Inuyasha: um Sango are you sure that Miroku didn't spike your drink...?

Sango: OH PLZ DOES THAT SEEM LIKE SOMETHING HE WOULD DO?

Inuyasha: ...yes

Kagome: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH BUNNY PLUS BUNNY EQUALS MANY BUNNEHS RUNNIN ROUND DA HOUSE DROPPIN BOMBS EVERYWHERE! PUPPY PLUS PUPPY EQUALS MANY PUPPEHSS!

Sango: OmFG SHeS GoNe INsAnE

*Roku's dead body is on the ground*

Kagome: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FEAR MAH INSANENESS! DO CHU FEEL IT?! BOW DOWN NARAKU ND FACE MAH INSANENESS!

Sango: WAIT WHAT DO I DO ABOUT ROKUS DEAD BODY?

Inuyasha: -.- am I seriously the normal one here?

Kagome nd Sango: NOOOOOOOOOOOOI! *growls*

Rin: wtf happened here...?

Kagome: u dont wanna kno

Sango: Kagome over there killed Roku after he spiked our drinks

Kagome: nooo that was mah Inu-kun not me I was drunk

Inuyasha: DONT LOOK AT ME IT WAS THAT PERVERT

Sango: WELL WHOEVER IT WAS NEEDS TO FIX THIS

Kagome: Uhhhhhhhh should I just stab Roku wif da Tenseiga?

Sango: if you can get it from Sesshomaru. And I wanna do it ?

Kagome: *steals Tensiega fwom Sesshy-Sama nd stabs Roku wif it* too late

Sango: ROKU!

Miroku: *blinks* S-Sango...?

Kagome: My work here ish done...

Sango: NO ITS NOT YOU COULD BE PREGNANT

Inuyasha: 0.0

Kagome: SANGO SHUT UP! Nd I alweady took a test!

Sango: WELL WHAT DID IT SAY

Kagome: Negative

Sango: aww... Err I mean...

Kagome: Sango...

Naraku: Hello bishessss I'm still here!

Sango: NUUU DONT HURT ROKU HES STILL WEAK

Kagome: Naraku r chu gay?

Sango: NARAKU AND SESSHY SITTIN IN A TREE

Everyone: WTF?!

Sango: damnit the stuff hasn't worn off yet... *evil glare at Roku*

Kagome: Ur STILL drunk?!

Miroku: d-don't look at me!

Sango: YOURE LUCKY THAT KAGOME KILLED YOU OTHERWISE WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULDVE HAPPENED

Kagome: Hell ur a half demon again nd it shoulda worn off

Sango: wait did I even HAVE a drink? WTH DID YOU DO ROKU

Miroku: e-ehh...

Kagome: Sango didya hav ANYTHING to drink last nite? Lik anything non alcoholic?

Sango: not that I remember...

Miroku: *stays quiet in fear*

Kagome: He either drugged ya or slipped ya sumfin!

Sango: MIROKU I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT COULDVE HAPPENED

Kagome: bunny plus bunny?

Sango: Kagome ur not helping

Sango: THIS TIME I REALLY AM LEAVING YOU FOR TOMOE

Miroku: no please!

Sango: I don't take mercy from perverts who can't respect women

Kagome: Inu let's just go ill call Tomoe nd Mizuki nd da shrine spirits to come get Sango...

Sango: don't expect me back for a while. I'll visit you though, Kagz. WAIT A SECOND UR ALL IN MY HOUSE

Kagome: We can get out... THAT'S WHT I'VE BEEN TRYNA GET INU TO DO! RIGHT HONEY?! *evil smirk*

Sango: you know maybe I should just stay...

Kagome: Tomoe just got here nd he's pissed he tried to use fox fire on me...

Sango: TOMOE! *hugs*

Tomoe: Sango what happened

Sango: *glares at Miroku* let's just go...

Kagome: *sweatdrops*

Tomoe: *fire appears in his hand* after I take care of this situation

Sango: WHAT?! Don't kill him!

Tomoe: well why not? He's the reason you called me isn't he?

Sango: w-well we can't revive him twice you can't kill him again!

Kagome: Tomoe just take her bak to Mikage shrine!

Tomoe: fine.

Sango: you have to promise not to kill him!

Tomoe: ...

Kagome: Tomoe just do it! She'll kill ya if ya don't!

Tomoe: Keh. No human can kill me

Sango: EXCUSE ME

Kagome: NO DONT PISS HER OFF!

Tomoe: -.- come on. Let's just go *takes her hand*

Sango: ...

Kagome: Bye

Sango: bye...

Miroku: ...

Kagome: Well that was anticlimactic.

Tomoe: why are you so slow?! Hurry up! We're leaving, remember?

Sango: well so-rry! I didn't know there was a time limit!

Tomoe: well are we going or not?!

Sango: ...

Tomoe: WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME UP HERE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

Inuyasha: Sango why are you so hesitant? Miroku spiked your drink, remember? Weren't you mad a second ago?

Tomoe: *fire reappears* He WHAT?! IM GOING TO KILL HIM

Kagome: Tomoe don't even think about it

Sango: STOP YOU CANT KILL HIM!

Tomoe: *releases Sango's hand* why wouldn't I?! Do you know what could've happened?!

Sango: so? IVE THROWN REFRIGERATORS AT HIM BEFORE! YOU DONT HAVE TO KILL HIM

Miroku: Why are you speaking about me as if I'm not here?

Sango: TOMOE I SWEAR IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS HIM I WILL CUT UR FUCKING HAND OFF OK SO LETS GO

Miroku: Sango I can fend for myself...

Sango: NOT AGAINST A FULL GROWN FOX DEMON WITH FIRE IN HIS HAND

Tomoe: STFU AND LET ME KILL HIM

Sango: IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP TOWARS HIM ILL... ILL STAY HERE!

Tomoe: *growls* fine, let's go

Sango and Tomoe: *leave*

-TBC-


	16. WE'RE LEAVING

Crazy Girls

Chapter 16: WE'RE LEAVING

Me and FireHanyou13

Kagome: I think Miroku's depressed...

Inuyasha: why should he be? It's his fault she left

Kagome: He tried to get her to stop but we still need to leave soooo LET'S GO!

Inuyasha: go where?

Kagome: My house. My family is still on vacation.

Inuyasha: *scratches head in confusion for a moment and then* OH! I get it nvm

Kagome: Still can we go?

Inuyasha: well I guess

Rin: ummm did you forget about everyone else who is still here?

Kagome and Inuyasha: WE DON'T CARE!

Rin: *shrinks back in fear*

*Sesshomaru, Rin, Roku, Naraku, Koga, and Ayame are still in Sango's house. Plus the fluff*

Sango: *reappears* srry I forgot to get the fluff... Yeah that's right I'm taking it with me! *goes upstairs to get it*

Rin: Sango? Kagome and Inuyasha got really scary

Sango: *turns head to Rin while on the stairs* Well don't you have a Sesshomaru? Or a chainsaw...?

Rin: KAGOME TOOK IT! Nd she killed Sesshy again! *cries*

Sango: WAT?! KAGOME HOW COULD YOU!?

Kagome: He was taking Inu's sexyness away! *pouts*

Inuyasha: oh so you think my brother is sexier than me?

Kagome: No he's stealin ur sexyness!

Sango: and how is that possible...?

Kagome: He took it away lik when he pulled the black pearl outta ur eye

Rin: umm ok... BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO KILL HIM!

Sango: it's ok Rin I have a spare chainsaw you can use to chase her around with

Kagome: Inuyasha save me!

Rin: *evil cackle*chases Kagome*

Kagome: *runs outta room nd outta house to school jumps up da flag pole*

Rin: *chainsaw roars* you have to come down sometime!

Kagome: NOT IF I JUMP IN THE TREE! *jumps on tree branch*

Rin: *still chases you but way below*

-meanwhile-

*Sango comes back downstairs with the fluff*

Kagome: SANGO Y!

Sango: WELL UR THE ONE WHO KILLED FLUFFY wait how am I talking to you ur not here

Kagome: Not the frickin point!

Rin: HAHAHA! *chainsawroars from below*

Sango: well I'm off to Mikage shrine

Kagome: TAKE ME ND INU WIF CHU!

Sango: WELL I THOUGHT YOU AND YASHIE WERE GONNA GO DO SOME SMOOCHING AT UR PLACE

Kagome: We're done.

Sango: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Kagome: Jut as I said were all done...

Sango: OH YEAH THEN WHY DID YOU TELL HIM TO COME OVER SINCE UR FAMILY IS N VACATION

Sango: and anyways you can't come to the shrine it's full of people!

Kagome: Damn

Sango: well Tomoe should be here to pick me up any minute now. And in the mean time... EVERYONE GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE

Everyone in Sango's house: aww

Kagome: Fine be mean let's go Inuyasha

Rin: DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME AGAIN?! I HAVE A CHAINSAW YOU KNOW

Kagome: I hav a very powerful half demon

Rin: *chainsaw roars* HALF DEMONS ARE POWERLESS AGAINST MODERN TECHNOLOGY... AND CANDY!

Kagome: DON'T CARE BYE!

Kagome nd Inuyasha: *leaves*

Rin: *goes over to Sesshomaru's lifeless body and cries*

Sango: Rin...

Kagome: *sends Tenseiga to Rin*

Rin: BUT HES ALREADY BEEN REVIVED BEFORE!

Sango: *has the fluff and magical sparkles come out of it and surround Sesshomaru*

Sesshomaru: *opens his eyes*

Sango: wtf

Kagome: Holy shit it's magic!

Kagome: Aren't ya gonna take da fluff now?

Sango: YES! *wraps fluff around herself like a huge scarf* and I'm leaving so... Don't expect to see me for a while

Kagome: Have fun!

Sango: WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOX-KUN?

Kagome: OHHH I kno! TOMOE! HERE FOXY FOXY FOXY HERE BOY! *whistles*

Sango: wtf

Kagome: Hey I think it worked!

Tomoe: *comes in through the door* let's go

Miroku: wait Sango can I have something before you go?

Sango: what?

Miroku: *kisses*

Kagome: I KNEW IT! IT WORKED!

Tomoe: HELL NO! *spins Sango around and kisses her*

Kagome: TOMOE! I DON'T THINK NANAMI WILL LIK THIS!

Miroku: Ur gonna have to do better than that, fox *gropes Sango*

Tomoe: *gets down on one knee* Sango will you marry me?!

Sango: HOLD UP! WHO THE HELL IS NANAMI

Kagome: Tomoe's land god. It's like me wif Inuyasha

Sango: *slaps Tomoe*

Miroku: *smirks*

Sango: *slaps roku*

Kagome: MIZUKI! HERE SNAKY SNAKY SNAKE!

Kagome: Can you take me and Inuyasha to Mikage Shrine?

Tomoe: IM NOT LETTING A HALF DEMON IN THE SHRINE

Kagome: UR A DEMON TOO! ND SHIPPO'S A FOX DEMON TOO ND HE TRAVELS WIF INUYASHA SOOOO DO AS I SAY OR I'LL LOCK SANGO IN MY BASEMENT ND NEVER LET U NEAR HER ND PUT SUBJAGATION BEADS ON UR NECK ND S-I-T U TOO HELL! *growls*

Sango: Kagome I would shut up if I were you... It doesn't work that way... And if you lock me in the basement I will fucking murder you

Tomoe: we're leaving. *grabs Mizuki and drags him out the door then closes it*

Rin: aren't you going to follow them?

Sango: not anymore...

Kagome: WHY THAT LITTLE-

Inuyasha: Kagome why don't we just go to ur place?

Kagome: Fine!

Sango: *sigh* bye you two! Have fun!

Kagome: THANKS!

Sango: My OTP is having another moment... *tear appears in eye*

Kagome: BAIZZZZZ! *leaves*

Sango: well now that that's over... WILL THE REST OF YOU LEAVE MY HOUSE ALREADY

Everyone else: *walks towards the door*

Sango: not you Miroku. We have to talk

-TBC!-

Well that's the end of the characters from Kamisama Kiss. I don't think they will appear again, so if you were confused then just search up the characters... Or watch the series bc it's rlly good!


	17. Apologies and Dead Rabbits

Crazy Girls

Chapter 17: Apologies and Dead Rabbits

Me and FireHanyou13!

-at Kagome's house-

Inuyasha: *opens cupboards* do ya have any ramen?

Kagome: INUYASHA SIT! HOW RUDE!

Inuyasha: YOU INVITED ME HERE YA KNOW! AND UR STANDING RIGHT HERE ITS NOT LIKE IM SPYING!

Kagome: *runs to Sango's house bawling her eyes out*

Inuyasha: WAIT! Kagome what the hell did I do?! *runs after her*

Sango: Kagome? What happened?!

Miroku: *is standing there*

Kagome: *blubbers to get answer out*

Sango: *rolls up sleeves* where the hell is Inuyasha

Kagome: *points in random direction*

Inuyasha: *bursts in through the door* why the hell did you run off Kagome?

Kagome: *busts out crying again for the second time*

Inuyasha: K-Kagome?!

Sango: Don't you have any idea what you did you ignorant halfbreed? How could you be so dense?!

Inuyasha: what the hell Sango

Sango: You can't just go snooping in people's kitchens as soon as you enter their house! It's rude as hell!

Kagome: *still crying her eyes out*

Shippo: *laughs manically from this distance*

Sango: you made her cry! Now go apologize!

Inuyasha: eh?

Sango: GO! *pushes him out the door and shuts it*

Miroku: Am I the only one who heard Shippo laugh evilly?!

Kagome: *sniffles*

Inuyasha: Kagome...

Kagome: *suddenly pissed off*

Inuyasha: Sango told me to apologize so I'm sorry. B-but it's only cuz Sango told me to so don't think I've gone all sappy on you alright!

Kagome: I gotta go...

Inuyasha: what?! Where are you going I just apologized

Sango: *in the distance* INUYASHA THAT ISNT WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY

Kagome: DAMNIT TODAY IS THE DEATH ANIVERSERY OF MY DEAD RABBIT CHUBBY THE BUNNY!

Inuyasha: 0.o

Miroku: AWKWARD!

Sango: *slaps Roku*

Roku: *falls to the ground*

Kagome: Saw that coming

Inuyasha: Miroku's a dumbass

Rin: *walks up to Kagome and Inuyasha* hey guys what's up

Kagome: I thought you were pissed at me...

Rin: well since Sesshy came back to life and I got a new chainsaw it's ok

Kagome: good i don't need a little girl tryna kill me

Rin: IM NOT A LITTLE GIRL!

Kagome: WELL THEN HOW DA HELL OLD R CHU?!

Rin: IM TWELVE

Kagome: Ok preteen

Rin: better.

Kagome: You're about a few years younger than me

Rin: I've grown

Kagome: I'm eighteen

Rin: ...you've grown

Kagome: Yup

Rin: that means that Sango's 19 and Miroku's 21!

Kagome: But how old does that leave Inuyasha?

Rin: Inuyasha still looks 15 to me

Inuyasha: I'm immortal ya know

Kagome: Ass u just had to rub it in...!

Inuyasha: hey it's not always a good thing I'll be stuck like this forever and who knows for how long

Rin: ...that didn't even make sense

Kagome: I wanna be immortal

Kagome: Wait where did Sango go?!

Rin: she never left her house didn't she..?

Sango: *walks up* hey guys!

Kagome and Rin: WHR IN DA NAME OF SEVEN HELLA WERE CHU DAMNIT?!

Sango: ...I was at my house...

Kagome: But we were at ur house...? Wait nevamind I gotta go today's da anniverserary of my bunny's death

Sango: does it have a grave or...?

Kagome: His name wuz Chubby da Bunny nd YUSHHH

Rin: ok. Hey we should have a sleepover at Sango's place!

Sango: who said you could invite other people to my house?!

Rin: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Sango: ok!

Kagome: *whispers to Roku nd Inu* Well that wuz easy...

Roku: *perverted face* THAT'S WHT SHE SAID! Literally

Sango: *hits Roku with a frying pan that randomly appeared*

Rin: Kagome come back to Sango's house after you visit ur rabbit's grave ok?

Kagome: *sniffles* Kay... *goes to graveyard*

Rin and Sango: *go to Sango's room with no one else in the house(possibly)*

*ten hours later* Kagome: *comes bak fwom graveyard*

Sango: wtf it's almost midnight!

Rin: how the hell did that work

Sango: Rin don't use that language ur only 12!

Kagome: YEAH RIN YELL OUT UR FRUSTRANTION I KNO CHU HATE MASTER JAKEN!

Sango: KAGOME!

Rin: hehe... Hehehe... HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Sango: what have we done to her

Kagome: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYATAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYYAA

Sango: *sigh* I might as well say it... BUNNY PLUS BUNNY EQUALS MANY BUNNIES RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE DROPPING BOMBS EVERYWHERE

Roku: THAT'S WHT SHE SAID!

Sango: *throws book out the window* direct hit... WAIT MY BOOK!

Kagome: That's why I don't thro things I like

Sango: but I threw the fridge at him once and I love the fridge

Kagome: *sigh* Cuz IT'S FULL OF FOOD! *growls*

Rin: so you throw the things you love... At the people you love

Sango: \(/∇/)\ WAT

Kagome: BURNNNNNNNNNNNN

Rin: hehe I've done good *wags tail*

Sango: WAIT WHAT YOU HAVE A TAIL

Rin: didn't I tell you guys? I'm a neko

Kagome: UMMMMM IM AN INU HANYOU! *tail whippin Sango in da face at 100 miles per hour*

Sango: *falls on the ground dramatically* bunny down...

Rin: don't worry I'll tell Miroku you love him for you

Sango: *sits up* WHAT

Kagome: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA KITTY PLUS KITTY EQUALS MANY KITTIES RUNNIN ROUND DA YARD THROWIN SWORDS EVERYWHR!

Rin: I believe you meant kitty plus doggy and throwing chainsaws everywhere but ok XD

Kagome: *pouts* Whteva...

Rin: let's play truth or dare!

Sango: ok. Truth or dare?

Rin: truth

Sango: ARE YOU EVEN A VIRGIN

Kagome: *looks surprised* WTF!

Rin: *makes an innocent face* auntie Kagome what does 'virgin' mean

Sango: *sigh* Nevermind...

Kagome: *sqeals* OH MY KAMI UR SOOOOOO CUTE!

Sango: wait why auntie u two are pretty much sister-in-laws...

Kagome: BE A HALF DEMON ND DEAL WIF IT SANGO CHAN GO WIF UR PERVERTED BUNNY!

Sango: WHAT NO I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN

Roku: that's what she said!

Sango: NOT TO YOU!

Rin: why does he keep saying that?

Sango: because he's a pervert. You're lucky that Sesshomaru isn't one given how much older he is than you

Kagome: If he wuz I would get him arrested for child porn or sumfin!

Rin: what's porn?

Sango: we should probably shut up...

Kagome: Or just whisper...

Rin: I can hear ya know

Kagome: HERE SHIPPO SHIPPO SHIPPO HERE BOY! *whistles for said fox demon*

Rin: no way! Shippo is too girly

Sango: he's a boy...

Rin: wait really?

Sango: *sigh*

Shippo: Kagome? Did you need something

Rin: OMG SHIPPO YOU LOOK SO MUCH OLDER NOW ASDFGHJKL

Sango: umm...

Kagome: I THOUGHT CHU LOVES FLUFFY?!

Rin: hey I'm only 12 I got time

Kagome nd Inuyasha: Wtf

Sango: WAIT IF YOURE ONLY TWELVE THEN HOW DO YOU OWN A CLUB

Kagome: I just stopped asking.

Inuyasha: Wanna get ice cream cake?

Rin: *pushes Shippo and Sango's faces down when she stands up* DID SOMEONE SAY ICE CREAM

Inuyasha: I said cake too...

Rin: *pushes their faces down farther* CAKE!

Kagome: Oh dear lord save us all!

Roku: DID I HEAR CAKE?!

Everyone: SHUT UP!

Sango: *sighs and moves Rin's hand away* well I guess we're all going to go get ice cream cake at midnight...

Kagome: It's midnight already?!

Sango: wait who all is going?

Everyone who has been in this scene: ME!

Kagome: Wait where did Sota and Kohaku go?!

Sango: idk. I think they ran off after the excorcism ended...

Kagome: oh

Rin: WAIT WE DONT HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE! *pushes a button on her laptop that randomly appeared and cake falls in front of everyone*

Sango: ...and now it's raining cake in my room

Kagome: Well make it rain chocolate please?

Rin: Kay! *scrolls on the mousepad and then presses the button again*

Sango: well this will be a lot to clean up...

*everyone who has ever been mentioned in this fanfiction shows up in Sango's room*

Sango: what

-TBC-


	18. The Chapter Without a Name

Crazy Girls

Chapter 18: The Chapter Without A Name

FireHanyou13 and I!

Naraku: Sup bishhessssssssss- wait is that what I think it is?

Everyone: Oh no...

Naraku: CHOCOLATE!

Sango: OMFG

Sango: *sigh* why is everyone in my house all of a sudden...

Rin: CUZ ITS RAINING CHOCOLATE DUH

Kagome: RUN! NARAKU GOT THE CHOCOLATE WERE ALL GONNA DIE NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Sango: NARAKU TAKE UR CHOCOLATE AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Naraku: Fine bisshhhhhhhhhhh *leaves*

Sango: NOW WILL EVERYONE GET OUT?! Except Rin and Kagz but EVERYONE ELSE

Kagome: OH HELL NAW IF INUYASHA HASTA LEAVE DEN SO DO I DAMNIT!

Sango: Kagome we were having a sleepover remember? He always ends up here anyways

Kagome: Oh

Everyone besides Sango Kagome and Rin: *takes a bunch of chocolate and files out the door*

Sango: and now my room is covered in chocolate and cake...

Rin: I CAN MAK IT DISAPPEAR!

Rin: *randomly types on laptop nd chocolate reappears as candies for us*

Sango: now my room is covered in- OMG IS THAT BUTTERSCOTCH

Rin: AT LEAST IT'S IN A CUTE NEAT BOX!

All three girls: *eats candy*

Rin: hehe... Hehehe... HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Sango: Rin what have we done to you?!

Kagome: Well now isn't this sumfin

Rin: HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA *randomly has a dress on*

Sango: why does this feel like déjà vu...?

Kagome: *leaves the room comes bak ten minutes later then falls on the floor*

Sango: OMFG ITS HAPPENING AGAIN!

Rin: I'll be right ba-aack! *goes in the closet

Rin: *comes out of the closet grinning like an idiot and falls on the bed with her arms outstretched*

Sango: u-uh... *gets pulled under the bed*

Kagome: *gets pulled under too*

Rin: hmm... Where did my friends go... Oh, who cares... I'm only twelve... I have time... *falls asleep holding the fluff*

Sango: *rolls out from under the bed and lies next to it staring at the ceiling*

Kagome: *rolls out fwom unda da bed*

*Sesshomaru comes out from under the bed and Sesshomaru comes out from the closet*

Rin: *wakes up* what...

Sango: wtf?!

Kagome: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kagome: SANGO!

Sango: WAT?

Miroku: *singing* TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME! TAKE ME OUT TO THE UHHHH HOT DURGERS!

Sango: -.- *punches Miroku and he flies out the window*

Everyone: THANK YOU!

Rin: Hey do ya have any pocky?

Sango: uh...

Kagome: POCKY! GIVE ME POCKY! * growls*

Kagome: *gets chainsaw fwom Rin*

Sango: OKAY OKAY *gives pocky box*

Rin: hey gimme my chainsaw back! You stole my other one!

Sango: they were both mine actually... -.-

Kagome: * suddenly bak to normal* W-What! WAH! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Rin: *takes chainsaw back* you were going crazy over pocky

Kagome: SANGO!

Sango: WHAT THE HELL IS IT NOW?!

Kagome: Hi! （≧∇≦）

Sango: (¬_¬)

Rin: *clicks a button*

Sango: RIN WHAT ARE YOU- *pocky falls from the sky*

Kagome: YAY! *really happy*

Sango: -.- so now it's raining pocky in my room

Inuyasha: *runs round da house lik an idiot*

Sango: JUST TAKE SOME POCKY AND GET THE HELL OUT

Miroku: Sango!

Sango: *turns around* what the-

Miroku: *has pocky stick halfway in his mouth*

Sango: 0/0 u-u-uh... *shuts eyes and pushes Roku to the ground*

Kagome: Well SOMEONE needs to get laid...

Rin: What does "laid" mean

Everyone: ASK SESSHOMARU!

Everyone thinking: * Sessho autta love that one...*

Sesshomaru: *is standing in the middle of the room*

Sesshomaru: *is standing in the middle of the room*

Both Sesshomarus: who; me?!

Sango: I forgot there were two of them oh my god...

Kagome: Who is a cold hearted *whispered* asshole?

Inuyasha: *bursts out laughing*

Rin: *runs over to one of the Sesshomarus* Sesshy; what does "get laid" mean...?

Inuyasha: *falls on the ground with laughter*

Sesshomaru: Rin why don't you ask the person who said it?

Rin: KAGOME WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Kagome: *suddenly no where in sight* Say hi to everyone for me!

Miroku: I think she left...

Everyone: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

Rin: Sango; you can tell me, right?

Sango: u-uh...

Miroku: Rin; how about I tell you?

Sango: *smacks him* sorry it was a mosquito *evil glare*

Miroku: or not...

Sesshomaru: WHO LIVES IN A PINAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Sango: wait which Sesshomaru was that?!

Sesshomaru: *turns into Naraku leaving one Sesshomaru left in the room* sup bishessss

Miroku: I'm guessing the one tht turned into the Spider Monkey

Naraku: *turns on a random TV and turns on Spongebob*

Rin: *cant keep her eyes off of the TV*

Sesshomaru: now look what you've done you baboon!

Kagome: Sup bitches wtf did I miss?

TV: *switches to Boku no Pico*

Sango: oh god no TURN IT OFF OH MY GUMMIBEARS

Random Japanese person: YOU'RE ALL OTAKUS!

Everyone: THANK U UR TOO KIND!

TV: *switches to Kyo and Yuki caramelldansen*

Sango: wait what channel is this...?

Everyone: *starts randomly dancing*

Kagome: It's the anime AMV channel

Sango: the anime anime music video channel?

Kagome: Yup

Kagome: I watch it all the frickin time

TV: *switches to one of Natsuko Aso's music videos*

Sango: MAKE IT SWITCH TO AKB48!

Kagome: NOOO EVERY LITTLE THING!

Sango: AKB48!

Kagome: ELT!

TV: *switches to Inuyasha AMV of Merry Frickin Christmas*

Inuyasha: Is that us...?

Kagome: Ahhhhh!

Hakudoshi: Hey fuckers

Rin: DIE HAKUDOSHI! *pushes out the window*

Everyone: *starts singing Merry Frickin Christmas while it's still raining pocky*

Byakuya: Hello my lovely little flowers...

Rin: UR GAY! *pushes out the window*

Sango: Rin it isn't nice to use that as an insult...

Rin: Sesshy said it to Inuyasha!

Sango: well that doesn't mean you should say it!

Kagome: Wait when did Sesshy do this?!

Rin: idk... I think they were fighting like with cheesy insults and stuff

Inuyasha and Sesshy: WHAT WAS THAT

Sango: hey where are Koga and Ayame? They didn't even show up when it was raining chocolate!

Kagome: Oh I kno! HERE WOLFY WOLFY WOLVES! *whistles*

Koga and Ayame: *enter the room*

Ayame: OMG POCKY!

Sango: how the hell does that keep working?!

Kagome: *smirks*

Ayame: Koga let's play the pocky game!

Koga: n-not here! Remember what happened last time...?!

Miroku: HEY BEEITCHES READY TO MAKE NARAKU BEE GONE?!

Kagome: STOP MAKING BEE PUNS!

Sango: TAKE YOUR STUPID PUNS AND GET OUT OF HERE

Miroku: No one understands me... * sulks*

Inuyasha: Yeah ur rite no one understands ya now get outta here ya freak of nature!

Everyone: *laughs when Miroku flips Inuyasha off*

Sango: Inuyasha you don't have to bee so mean *smirks*

Miroku: ...

Rin: Kagome what does *middle finger* mean?!

Fluffy: KAGOME DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT RUNNING AWAY!

Kagome: Shit...

Rin: what does shit mean?!

Kagome: Stop asking me!

Rin: FINE ILL JUST SEARCH THEM ON THE INTERNET

Kagome: OPPS I CRASHED UR LAPTOP!

Rin: then I'll use Sango's!

Sango: Kagome don't even think about it

Kagome: *Mutters* Damn

Sango: Rin can you wait until you're thirteen? We'll tell you then, but you're not old enough.

Rin: well my birthday's tomorrow so... OKAY!

Everyone: TF?!

Sango: *facepalm*

Sesshy: Saw that coming...

Everyone: SCREW U FLUFFY!

Rin: you all got me presents right?! PRESENTS!

Sango: umm... Yes! Yes I did! *grabs laptop and clicks a button* it won't be here until tomorrow tho...

Naraku: *knocks Rin out*

Sango: WHAT THE HELL NARAKU?!

Naraku: *looks innocent* What? It was the only way to get her to stop her rage...

Sango: she'd better not be dead...

Sesshy: I'm taking Rin home. I'll bring here back tomorrow for her birthday celebration *cold stare telling us to have a party for her*

Everyone: *sweatdrop* of course...

Rin and Sesshy: *leave*

Kagome: *whistles low* Glad that's over!

Sango: WAIT ITS STILL RAINING POCKY AND RIN IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP IT!

Kagome: I kno a way to stop it! *smirks nd types for a minute before Nightcore-I like it loud comes on

Sango: uhh...

-TBC-


	19. The Disappearing Jaken

Crazy Girls

Chapter 19: The Magically Disappearing Jaken

Me (Panda) and FireHanyou13!

-The Next Day...-

Miroku: Hello young lady would you bear my children? *hopeful eyes*

Everyone: WTF MIROKU! THI IS JUST LIK THE KOHARU INCEDENT!

Miroku: but Koharu was only eleven; Rin is 13!

Sango: IT DOESNT MATTER YOU PERV!

Kagome: STILL U DONT GO ASKIN LITTL FUCKIN GIRLS TO BEAR UR CHILDREN U STUPID GOD DAMN LECHEROUS MONK DAMNIT I AUTTA KILL U THEN HIDE DA BODY!

Miroku: *hides behind Sango*

Sango: what, you think I'm gonna protect you?!

Miroku: Uh YES!

Sango: *sigh* look, let's just let Rin open all her presents and then have cake. And if you do anything perverted I will personally cut open your throat.

Miroku: maybe I should be hiding behind someone else...

Kagome: Not me beeitch!

Miroku: stop using my bee puns against me!

Kagome: Nah I think I'll keep using them to u BEEgone!

Miroku: nuuuuuu

Sango: *sigh*

Rin: CAN WE OPEN MY PRESENTS ALREADY

Kagome: Sure

Sango: *gives Rin a box*

Rin: *rips paper to shreds*

Rin: OMIGOD ITS A CHAINSAW

Koga: Wait just who was that from?!

Sango: I was tired of her using mine...

Kagome: Oh well I got her one too! Rin open the one with puppy wrapping paper on it!

Rin: *rips it open and holds both chainsaws in each of her hands* HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Everyone but Sango nd Kagome: RUNNNN!

Rin: Hmm who should I try it out on...

Kagome: *hits key on laptop nd starts to rain candy nd chocolate nd pocky of all kinds*

Rin: *drops chainsaws and starts prancing around the room*

Sango: great. Now it's raining chocolate in my living room.

Kagome nd Rin: AND CHOCOLATE ND LOTS OF POCKY!

Sango: *facepalm*

Kagome nd Rin: BUNNEHS ND CHAINSAWS ND POCKY OH MY!

Sango: wait... Aren't I the only bunny here...?

Kagome: BESIDES ROKU!

Sango: right...

Rin: okay what's my next present?

Kagome: Well according to my calculations it should be- Oh god...

Sango: what?

Kagome: *whispers in ur ear* It's da fuckin pervert's present

Sango: *sigh* I'm pretty sure it couldn't be THAT bad...

Rin: What's this? *holds up little playboy costume nd bras nd underwear nd all sorts of Mirokuish stuff*

Kagome: SEE I TOLD U!

Sango: ok... So maybe it is that bad...

Miroku: heheh...

Sango: *drags Miroku into the kitchen by his ear*

Miroku: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! Sango!

*crash*

Rin: so is someone gonna tell me what this stuff is or...?

Kagome: IM GONNA KILL HIM! LEMME AT 'EM! *tries to get past InuYasha to Kill Roku*

Inuyasha: Kagome! I'm pretty sure Sango has it taken care of...

Sango: *walks back into the room* Kagome what are you doing? *sigh* can we get back to the presents?

Kagome: I WANNA KILL HIM! LEMME GO INU KUN I NEED TO MURDER HIM JUST LIK NARAKU!

Sango: KAGOME I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF IT can we please get back to Rin's presents

Rin: *is holding her chainsaws* someone explain this stuff to me NOW!

Kagome: Uhhhh Bai!

Kagome: *flees wif Inu-kun*

Inuyasha: hey what the- Kagome!

Sango: *sigh*

Rin: SOMEONE TELL ME!

Sesshomaru: Rin. Put the chainsaws down.

Rin: *drops chainsaws and runs over and hugs Sesshy* Sesshomaru!

Jaken: RIN STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! *squawks*

Sesshy: Jaken... *lets sentence hang off*

Jaken: *hides behind Sango*

Sango: why does everyone hide behind me?!

Sesshomaru: *looks at the stuff Miroku got Rin* who got such inappropriate things for my Rin?

Kagome: Miroku!

Sesshomaru: and where is he?

Kagome: Killed by Sango but u can revive him and kill him again!

Sango: Kagome you know I didn't actually kill him; somehow we revived him twice already...

Sesshomaru: *walks into the kitchen*

Sango: wait- Sesshomaru! *runs in front of him* you don't need to kill him...! I already took care of him! He won't try anything...!

Sesshomaru: this Sesshomaru does not listen to humans. I intend to protect Rin any way I can

Sango: Kagome do something! Make it rain pocky or something...!

Kagome: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh IM A BARBIE GIRL IN A BARBIE WORLD~! LIFE IN PLASTIC! IT'S FANTASTIC! YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR OR DRESS ME EVERY WHERE~! IMAGINATION LIFE IS YOUR CREATION!

Sesshomaru: what the...

Sango: *runs past Sesshomaru and tell Roku to go hide*

Rin: I wanna open more presents!

-later that day-

Kagome: SANGO!

Sango: WHAT

Kagome: ^_^ HAI!

Sango: (¬_¬)

Miroku: IM A LITTLE TEA POT SHORT AND SPOUT! HERE IS MY HANDLE HERE IS MY SPOUT!

Sango: NO ONE WANTS TO DRINK YOUR TEA

Sango: wait...

Kagome nd Inu: THAT'S WHT SHE SAID!

Miroku: THATS MY THING! *pouts lik a child*

Sango: *kicks Roku in the face and sends him flying out the window*

Kag: 0.0

Rin: *is sitting in a pile of birthday presents holding chainsaws while eating pocky and listening to music through earbuds*

Kagome: Hey I think I hear sumfin in da closet... *goes in*

Inu: *smirks nd follows*

Sango: NO! KAGOME!

Sango: wow I guess Inuyasha really is a pervert... 0.o

Kag: *comes out ten minutes later wide eyed and stuttering* Uhhhh i ummm MIROKU HOW COULD U DO THAT TO INUYASHA!

Sango: *jumps out the window and drags Roku back into the house and then hits him repeatedly with a random spatula* GO APOLOGIZE!

Rin: CAN I HELP? MAYBE I CAN BRING MASTER JAKEN!

Sango: hey where is Jaken anyways? Did we finally get rid of him..?

Kag: I don't even know... *looks round suspiciously*

All that have spoken in this part of the chapter besides Kagome: *lean towards Kagz*

Kagome: Uhhh WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LOOKIN AT ME FOR?! *eyes everyone*

Sango: *shines bright flashlight in you face* We ask the questions around here. No seriously it's my house

Kag: What's with the CSI stuff?

Sango: I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE

Sango: now tell us where Jaken is!

Kag: UHH IM NOT ANSWERIN ANYTHIN TILL I SEE MAH LAWYER!

Rin: *is suddenly wearing a business outfit with a skirt and a briefcase* I'm here

Kag: What took u so long?

Rin: I had to fill my briefcase up.

Kag: Please tell meh thrs candy in thr...

Rin: *opens briefcase to reveal a bunch of candy*

Kag: YAY!

Panda: ((YOU READ MY MIND OMF))

FireHanyou: ((Wtf))

Panda: ((That's what I was gonna have in the briefcase; candy))

FieHanyou: ((Wht am I thinkin bout?))

Panda: ((Uhh idk... Inuyasha?))

FireHanyou: ((Holy shitnuggets how'd ya kno?!))

Panda: ((? ﾟﾘﾂ? I'll never tell))

Sango: ANYWAYS we are here because of the disappearance of Jaken. Kagome here has some information to give us, and we are waiting to hear what she has to say.

*The living room is suddenly a court room and everyone is in seats with Sango as the judge*

Rin: *is eating candy* so... What DO you know about Jaken, hmm?

Kagome: A word please with my lawyer?

Sango: fine, fine. We'll just wait here... Staring at you...

Kag: Well THAT isn't nerve racking...

Rin: will you tell me what you know about Jaken already?!

Kag: Fine... All I kno ish dat he left wif Sesshy nd I haven't seen him since.

Rin: sure... Sure...

Kag: So am I free to go?!

Sango: not so fast! You obviously know something more

Kag: I'll giv u all marshmallows free of charge!

Sango: eh who cares. We never liked Jaken anyways...

Rin: YAY MARSHMALLOWS!

Rin: DONT COPY ME! *grabs chainsaw*

Everyone: AHH RIN!

-TBC-


	20. Fangirls and Pet Squirrels

Crazy Girls

Chapter 20: Fangirls and Pet Squirrels

READ FIREHANYOU13'S STORIES

-Later That Day...-

Rin: *stares up with wide, curious eyes*

Kagome: Well-

Miroku: WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN LOVE EACHOTHER VERY MUCH-

Sango: *bonk*

Kagome: NO! It's the kind that Ayame and Koga were doing in the closet...

Rin: What? I think I was at my club when that happened...

Kagome: Remind us y u hav a club at age twelve!

Rin: well I'm thirteen now...

Kagome: THEN IM NINETEEN!

Rin: you said you were eighteen! Unless we have the same birthday...

Kagome: We do

Rin: well then why didn't you say something?!

Sango: don't worry Kagome I didn't forget. *hands you a box*

Kagome: Uhhh Ok! Thanks! *rips open box*

Kagome: HOLY SHITNUGGETS IT'S A NEW LAPTOP ND CANDY ND MORE CANDY ND AN INUYASHA PLUSHIE!

Inuyasha: *pokes the plushie* is that supposed to be me...?

Kagome: YUP! *huggles plushie*

Miroku: I do not comprehend just what exactly is occurring at the moment.

Everyone: *looks at Miroku weirdly* WHT THE FUCK?!

Sango: Miroku you know you can speak normally... Right...?

Miroku: Excuse me Madamm but please explain to me just what is going on?

Kagome: I think his brain finally cracked...

Sango: *pokes Miroku's cheek* you ok?

Inu: If he had one to even begin with...

Kyo: Hey what the hell is wrong with that guy is he stupid or something?

Sango: *stares at Inuyasha and Kyo and whispers* I think I'm seeing double...

Kagome: Nope and since Aya ain't here I can do this! *launches myself at Kyo nd kisses him*

Inuyasha: What the hell Kagome..!

Kagome: Hey who is that? AND Y DOES SHE LOOK LIKE ME?!

Miroku: Hello dear would you do the honor of bearing my children?

Jami: *rolls in through the window and punches Roku in the cheek* NOT TODAY PERVERT

Sango: uhhh... HEY THATS MY JOB

Keira: Sorry she's just as violent... No offense

Jami: *pouts* no I'm not Kaggie I'm usually nice...

Roku: *rubs cheek* I beg to differ...

Aya: *comes in nd see's Kyo* KYO DARLING MY LOVE!

Kyo: YOURE WORSE THEN KAGURA!

Tomoe: *walks in through the window with a bored expression*

Sango: TOMOE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

Jami: TOMOE MY LOVE! *hugs him*

Tomoe: *tail wags* why are we in my ex's house

Jami: bc this is where the three musketeers were supposed to meet duh

Everyone from the Inuyasha anime: wtf

Keira: YUP! *happily screams and grabs Yusuke*

Aya(well Lauren not really Ayame) : *is hugging Kyo to her chest* yup!

Jami: and now we make our escape!

All three: *jump out the window in summersaults*

Inuyasha: *scratches cheek* well that was odd...

Rin: I WANTED A PET SQUIRREL FOR MY BIRTHDAY DAMNIT

-TBC-

Sorry if you were confused at all but we write these for fun sooo we don't really care X'D bye


	21. Pocky and (insert censorship here)

Crazy Girls

Chapter 21: Pocky and ****

me and FireHanyou13 wrote this still!

Rin: Kagome what does *middle finger* mean?

Sesshy: Kagome don't even think about running away!

Kagome: Shit *mumbles random cuss words nd tweaks Inu's ears*

Rin: someone tell me!

Kagome: Not me this time I don't wanna be killed by Sesshy-Chan... * mumbles more cuss words nd still tweaks Inu's ears*

Miroku: hmm Rin why don't you look it up on the internet?

Sango: no Rin definitely do not do that...!

Rin: GREAT IDEA AND AT THE SAME TIME ILL MAKE IT RAIN POCKY!

Rin: *hits random keys on laptop*

Kagome: *screaming in joy* POCKY!

Inuyasha: oh dear god

Miroku: *gets letcherous face* Lovely Sango why don't you join in the fun?

Sango: what are you even talking about?!

Miroku: You don't understand my perfect logic or lovely thought process?

Sango: sorry I'm too tired of food raining inside of my house...

Kagome and Rin: *running round da house wif chainsaws nd still screaming bout candy* YAY CANDY LETS KILL PEOPLE!

Sango: why the hell did I buy her a chainsaw? Oh wait that means I have mine back! Hmm...

Rin: SESSHY-CHAN WHAT DOES **** MEAN?!

Naraku: IT MEANS-

Kagome: *slices Naraku in half*

Sango: well now Naraku's dead... And no one cares enough to try to revive him...

Rin: SOMEOME TELL ME WHAT **** MEANS!

Rin: yeah but what does it MEAN

Kagome: Well crap I'm not tellin so don't look at me! *baks to Inu*

Miroku: if you really want an explaination I would be happy to-

Sango: *knocks Roku out with a random giant candycane*

Sango: he just needed a nap heheh ^^'

Kagome: Thank you

Rin: still waiting for an explanation here

Inu: I was bout to do tht myself...

Rin: EHEM

Kagome: Shut up were giving you free ice cream and another free birthday be happy!

Rin: I do in fact have a large army of squirrel that I will unleash if I don't get an answer soon

Sango: WTF NO NOT IN MY HOUSE RIN

Rin: pushes a button and a tree grows in the middle of the room then gets both chainsaws and slices it to pieces*

FireHanyou: ((I'm shittin awsomescauce))

Panda: ((uhh I don't even want to know what that means))

Kagura: IM A LITTLE TEA POT SHORT AND STOUT NARAKU CAN SUCK A DICK CUZ HE'S AN ASSHOLE!

Naraku: *is still in two pieces dead on the ground*

Sango: ok so now there's a dead body on the ground, pocky everywhere and coming out of nowhere, and tiny bits of tree bark littering the floor?!

Inu nd Kag: *get drunk nd makes dirty jokes*

Kagome: Hey Inu what kind of poo lives in a church?

Inu: I I I uhh know don't

Kagome: Holy shit!

Inu: *bursts out laughing wif Kagome*

Rin: TELL ME! *chainsaw roars*

Filler character: *comes out of nowhere* IT EITHER MEANS THAT YOU REALLY HATE A PERSON LIKE GO TO HELL OR LIKE PLAYFULLY OR IT MEANS YOU HAD SEX HAHAHAHAHA BYE

Sesshomaru: *makes filler character disappear of the face of the planet*

Everyone: uhh...

Rin: Still have no idea what that even means...

Kag: Well ya ya see ummm f*** is the big O and the big O is-

Sesshy-Chan: *cuts Kaggie in half*

Rin: you're mean Sesshy! *steps on his foot then steals the tenseiga and runs around wildy with it*

Kaede: Child stab Kagome with that sword!

Rin: ok Kaede! *stabs*

Kag: What?! SESSHOMARU IM GONNA KILL U!

Rin: Stop it Kagome you can't kill him again!

Kag: I'm not gonna really kill him just maim him...

Sesshomaru: Come on Rin we're leaving...

Rin: but I dun wanna leave..!

Sesshomaru: get your presents and come on. And return the tenseiga

-TBC (or not...)-


	22. Sprinkles and Squirrel Poop

Crazy Girls

Chapter 22: Sprinkles and Squirrel Poop

Kagome: SANGO!

Sango: WHAT

Kagome: Let's torture the guys at the mall! * evil smile*

Sango: O Oi Kagome you coulda just said 'let's go to the mall' the torturing part is already implied *smirks*

Kagome: damn I'm stupid...

Shippo: Kagome, Inuyasha's being a meaner again!

Sango: Kagome I think that's your cue

Kagome: Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: *makes face from fear* Uhh Kagome wait!

Kagome: *breaths in* GO IN UR CORNER! Bad dog! Bad!

Sango: well that was... Different...

Miroku: Well THAT was unexpected

Kagome: EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

Sango: JINX! *punches Roku in the face* I win.

Kagome: I thought it was just sayin it however many times till one owes someone else something

FireHanyou: ((Wait wht? I just confused myself))

Panda: ((Idk just go with it))

Sango: why don't we just go to the mall like you said...?

Inuyasha and Miroku: NO NOT THE MALL!

-at the mall-

Kagome: I wish Ayame wuz here!

Sango: she's still with Koga...

Kagome: Uhhhh still Wolf plus Wolf?

Sango: Don't ask...

Kagome: Well if ya can't stop wolves from repopulatin then u can't stop em

Sango: so where should we go first?

Yasha: Uhh food court

Miroku: Victoria's Secret?!

Kagome: Hmm lemme think... NO!

Sango: YOU PERVERT *hits Roku with my purse*

Sango: whoops... Sorry Roku...

Miroku: Since when did you call me Roku?

Inuyasha: since when did you start apologizing?!

-later-

Kagome: Well fuck me sideways!

Sango: I won't but maybe Yashie will ^^

Kagome: that's not a bad thing *pervy smirk*

Sango: *internally squeals over OTP aka best friend and other best friend going down on each other*

Miroku: she's not wrong... *pervy smirk*

Sango: WTF YOU PERVERT *madly blushes*

Kagome: Well Yasha nd I are gonna get pizza want me to get ya a box Sango?

Sango: OMF YES I LOVE PIZZA

Sango: wait did you just trick me into staying here with Roku DAMNIT

Miroku: Sango my sweet I must protect you from the Furries!

Sango: Furries...?

Yasha: *facepalm*

Kagome: *sliding down facepalm*

Sango: *sigh* just go get the pizzas

Kagome: Well whteva. We might be a little late tho...

Sango: em why?

Miroku: Are you two gonna screw?

Yasha: *punches Roku*

Sango: You don't have to be so blunt..!

Kagome: *ten minutes later is back* Hey guys

Sango: Where's my pizza?

Kagome: oh yea

Sango: uhhh

Kagome: *pulls pizza out from random portal* Here ya go

Sango: *takes pizza box suspiciously* where did this come from?

Kag: Akitoki's Pizza House

Sango: okay! *eats two slices in one minute*

Roku: can I have a piece?

Sango: *glares*

Kag: I'll take that as I no *takes slice*

Sango: *slaps your hand and pizza falls on the ground* my pizza!

Kagome: Your fault and I bought it so I should get a piece!

Sango: yeah but technically ITS MY PIZZA AND YOU MADE IT FALL ON THE FLOOR

Roku: can I have the one that fell on the ground?

Sango: *sigh*

Yasha: Fuckin idiot

Sango: *happily finishes entire pizza*

Kagome: You bitch!

Sango: It was my pizza! I deserve it, letting you run around my house while it rained pocky and chocolate cake in my bedroom

Roku: we should do that again.

Sango: well we're not at my house anymore...

Kag: We're not?

Sango: wait where the hell are we anyways?

Rin: We're in Feudalia and I am the ruler!

Sango: uhhh I thought Sesshomaru took you away...

Rin: Never forget I am NOWHERE ND EVERYWHERE!

Rin: *mysteriously disappears*

Jami, Keira, nd Lauren: *magically spin in with wife hand jestures*

Miroku: hello ladies ^^

Yasha nd Keira: *slap him* Pervert

Jami: step aside Kagz. You too, Yashie. Thats my job. *slaps Roku*

Roku: could you please be a bit less violent with my face? ^^'

Jami: nope.

Keira: Sooo r we just gonna ignore the fact that the teen child just disappeared?

Jami: you mean Rin?

Keira: I think

Jami: let's go find her. GRAB YOUR CHARACTER AND ASSUME DISAPPEARING POSITIONS

Keira: *grabs Yusuke*

Lauren: *grabs Kyo*

Jami: *grabs Miroku* whoops I can't take you *grabs Tomoe instead*

All three: *summersaults out the window*

Kagome: I'm not even going to question why that girl with brown hair looked like me...

Sango: or the girl that looked like blonde me and and the girl who looked like Aya with short hair...

Shippo: *still laughing like a psycho in the distance*

Kagome: What the fuck is that?

Sango: don't wanna know?

Kagome: DOESNT ANYONE BESIDES ME HEAR THAT FUCKIN CRAZY LAUGHIN?!

Miroku: FINALLY SOMEBODY HEARS IT TO!

Sango *Too

Yasha: WATCH THE FUCKIN EARS THEY HURT YA BUNCH A DICKS!

Kagome: SANGO

Sango: KAGOME

Kagome: IM BORED

Sango: SAME

Kagome: SO IM GONNA RUN IN UR BACKYARD LIK A BOSS!

Sango: WATCH OUT FOR SQUIRREL POOP

Kagome: *whispered* and maybe fricklefrack wif mah Inu-Kun

Sango: I CAN HEAR YOU YA KNOW just don't let Roky hear...

Roku: Hear what? And did you just call me Roky?

Sango: HEHEH NOTHING

Kagome: Want the ducktape?

Sango: I'm not trying to stop him from speaking I'm trying to stop him from hearing do you want me to duct tape his ears?! And you're the one who said it wtf!

Yashie: *enters the room eating a cookie* what's up?

Kagome: Well fuck you. *glared and leaves wif Inuyasha that magically fucking appeared*

Yashie: WAIT I JUST GOT HERE COME ON

Miroku: I guess that leaves you and me Sango

Rin: Nope!

Roku: Darnit! Always some kind of cock block! *snaps fingers*

Sango: *hits Roku with a TV* WHAT THE FLUFF DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO WITH YOU YOU IDIOT!

Rin: DID SOMBODY SAY FLUFFY?!

Kagome: No she said 'fluff'

Sesshomaru: *enters the room with a dead expression* Did someone call for me?

Kag: No go away, Mr. Stick up his ass!

Sango: wait Kagz I thought you left...

Kag: I did, I'm taking telepathically! Idiot!

Sango: how does that make me an idiot..?

Kag: It does ok! Stop being logical it messes wif mah insanity!... Bitch!

Rin: SPRINKLES!

*It starts raining sprinkles inside*

Sango: NOW YOUVE TURNED MY HOUSE INTO A GIANT ICECREAM SUNDAE?!

Shippo: YAY

Yasha: Where the fuck did YOU come from?!

Shippo: My mom

Roku: *hits drum and symbol set*

Kag: *slow, dragging, facepalm*

Rin: *runs around with her mouth open to catch the sprinkles*

Sango: so are we all gonna drown in the sprinkles or..?

Kag: Jut go wif it.

-TBC-


	23. The Worst Chapter Ever

Crazy Girls

Chapter 23: The Worst Chapter Ever

-at a completely different point in time...-

-Thanks to myself and FireHanyou or whatever her name is now-

-At the usual setting of Sango's house-

Kagome: WHERE DID YASHA-BAE GO?! *growls and takes Rins chainsaw and points it at you*

Sango: how tf should I know?! And by the way it's pronounced Yashie.

Kagome: YOURE HIS SISTER GOD DAMNIT

Sango: sister?! More like best friend buT I STILL DONT KNOW BRUH

Keira: *appears out of nowhere* PLOT HOLE

Jami: *drags you back into the plot hole*whisper shouts* not yet!

Keira: *mumbles* Damnit. Baiz bitches! *jumps out window after jumping on Yasha nd kissing him.* Keira out bitches

Sango: OH THERES YASHIE *points* I FOUND 'IM

Kagome: No that girl that looks like me did! *hits laptop tht appeared magically, nd it starts to rain candy and pocky nd shit nd more shit lik dat thn the TV turns on to the AMV channel nd shit nd it's caramelldansen!*

Sango: HOLY MOTHER OF CHEEZITS THIS IS WORSE THAN LAST TIME WHEN WE ALMOST DROWNED IN SPRINKLES

Kagome and Rin: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

Sango: *sigh* now where's that monk of mine...

Kagome: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY （≧∇≦）

Panda: ((Ok I'm listening to music and I'm freaking tired af so things are gonna get weird ?))

FireHanyou: ((Ik apperantly I confess things too whn I'm tired af))

Panda: ((IKR!))

Miroku: right here honey!

Sango: tf did you just call me? We're not married ya dumbass

Filler Character: IM BAK! I KNOW THE NEW DEFFENITION OF FUCK!

Sango: dude, Rin isn't even- WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HERE?!

Kagome: SHE WUZ ALWAYS HURR

Sango: Welllll I don't pay much attention apparently...

Roku: *tries to-*

Sango: *slams him up against a wall* WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT YA PERV?! You'd think there would be SOMEONE who would listen to me... CHEEZITS...

Kagome: Cheezits?

Sango: don't question my logic and I won't question your sanity! I thought we had a deal here...!

Kagome: But Keira and Jami were talking bout tht?

Sango: I think you're getting the non-existent plot mixed up... OH DEAR CHEEZITS RIN HAS TWO CHAINSAWS

Kagome: HOLY SHIT NUGGETS ON FUCKIN FLUFF

Rin: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAASSDFGHJJLKLZXCBNVMWQWERTYUUOIPASDFGHJKL

Kagome: Rin! Shippo is here!

Sesshy: Rin we're going home.

Rin: AHASHSIOSSONEBDNXokay ^_^

Shippo: HEART SCAR!

Inuyasha: GET THIS THING OFF ME!

Sango: I think he's a bit busy...

Kagome: TOMOE! HERE FOXY FOXY FOXY! *whistles*

Tomoe: What?! *growls and fire forms from hand*

Sango: DONT YOU DARE CALL HIM OVER HERE WE BROKE UP LIKe... TWICE!

Jami: I'LL TAKE HIM! *jumps Tomoe and falls out the window with him

Kagome: I thought Keira pulled you out the window...

Miroku: anyone else here REALLY confused..?

Kagome: Me

Sango: same haha...

Random chibi: HAI

Rin: *runs back into the room with chainsaws* FINALLY SOMEONE WHO I CAN SLAUGHTER! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAJSJZXJJWSIDI...

Sesshy: *slowly drags her out of the room*

Kagome: Uhhhh Sesshy do you want some help

Sesshy: no, no. She'll only listen to me...

Roku: *whispers to Sango* sometimes I wonder which of them is actually the dog...

Kagome: I dun give a- *cut off by glare from Sesshy* -poo, me nd Yaha-Bae r guna leave now

Shippo: *finally gets tired and takes a nap*

Inuyasha: LETS GET OUT OF HERE WHILE I STILL CAN!

Kagome: YASSS *grabs Yasha then jumps out window*

Sango: geronimo.

Kagome: What the fluffin fluff are you on?!

Panda: ((Wait who are you talking to))

FireHanyou: ((Both

Panda: ((BOTH OF WHO ?))

FireHanyou: ((I DUN KNO

Panda: ((OK. JUST GO HAVE YOUR FUN WITH YASHA WILL YA GEEZ))

FireHanyou: ((KAY

Miroku: Sango we're finally alone.

Sango: well if you don't count Shippo asleep on my bed, Sesshy dragging Rin out of the house, Koga and Aya probably in the closet, and Naraku STILL in a rotting heap on the floor, then SURE WE'RE ALONE YOU FUCKING IDIOT

Rin: I WANNA KILL PEOPLE, FLUFFY YOU WILL HELP ME!

Sesshy: Rin, you have lost your mind

Rin: THATS WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO THINK!

Sesshy: I don't get paid enough for this

Rin: YOU DONT GET PAID AT ALL YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

Sango: Oh no...

Sesshy:

Panda: ((What?

FireHanyou: ((He has no words

Panda: ((Ohhh

Panda: ((Well neither do I CHANGE THE SCENE TO YOU AND YASHIE OR SOMETHING

Sango: *pushes Sesshy and Rin out of my house* wh eheh good luck with being a dad Sesshy! ^^'

Sesshy: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN

Sango: *locks the door and turns off all the lights* SHHH

Keira: IT MEANS RIN IS PREGNANT YOU CHILD MOLESTER

Panda: ((Wait that did not go as planned

Panda: ((THAS NOT EVEN WHAT I MEANT WHAT HAPPENED

FireHanyou: ((THIS IS WHT HAPPENS TO ME WHN IM TIRED AND HAV HAD SUGAR OR OTHER STUFF

Panda: ((This is messed up omg

FireHanyou: ((U mite wanna cut sum of dis off

Panda: ((Nah I'll just include the in between parts ^^

FireHanyou: ((Bish

Panda: ((Why is it so appropriate that I'm listening to 'Merry Frickin Christmas' at this moment...

FireHanyou: ((I hav no fluffin clue

Miroku: *tries to-*

Sango: YOU LECHEROUS FLUFFING IDIOTIC PERVERTED STUPID AMOROUS FLIRTING PUMPKINHEADED CHEATING CHEEZIT WILL YOU CUT IT OUT ALREADY GOSH

Panda: ((Your turn ^^

FireHanyou: ((No thx

Panda: ((I don't think we're talking about the same thing...

Panda: ((I think it's best to just end the chapter here

FireHanyou: ((yup

Panda: ((Fiiine

Panda: ((any last words?

FireHanyou: ((CHOCOLATE

Panda: ((Brilliant

FireHanyou: ((yup

-TBC-


	24. Kagome's Explanation: Very Detailed

Crazy Girls

Chapter 24: Kagome's Explanation: Very Detailed

We both came up with this together

Kagome: I'm sick because of so much alone time with Inuyasha

Sango: it was probably the dirty movie theater bathroom

Kagome: the theater bathroom, the bathroom at my house, My mom's bed, Sota's bathroom, your closet, my closet, my bathtub, the kitchen floor, the well house, the school bathroom, the nurse's office, the heater room, the moon, Neptune, sailor neptune, the panda exhibit at the zoo, the band closet, the train station, the airport, the food court at the mall, on the wall, upside down, under the bed, on the bed, on the ceiling fan where we killed Hojo, in the well, in Naraku's room, on Kagura's fan, in Kanna's mirror, in Byakuya's origami, on an etch-n-sketch, in the freezer, in the fridge, in the microwave, in the shower, in front of Justin Beiber, with Rin watching, on a sack of diamonds, inside the sacred jewel, in a frying pan, on a shelf, on Miroku's sutras, InuTaisho's grave, in the border between this world and the next, in the forest, in a small box, in a FedEx truck, in the mailman's truck with him watching from outside-

Sango: wasn't he mad?

Kagome: anyone who has to clean that up must be mad.


	25. Cards Against Humanity

Crazy Girls

Chapter 25: Cards Against Humanity

We did this one together too

Rin: Guys look what game I brought for us to all play!

Sango: where'd you get that?

Rin: Sesshomaru's closet!

Kagome: *bursts out laughing considering she's probably drunk off of Rin's special club drink*

Sango: wait a second, lemme see that... These are custom cards; they have our names on them!

Kagome: *sounding slurred* we might as well play!

Miroku: I'll pick the black card first

Sango: so you're the judge...

Miroku: that's right! Draw your cards; the card is: while x-raying Miroku, doctors found _ stuck in his butt.

...

And the winner is, a live studio audience!

Sango: figures...

Kagome: YES! I win!

Inuyasha: I'm next...

The question is: why can't I sleep at night?

...

The winner is Miroku's lecherous hand...

Sango: that would be me, thank you!

Rin: my turn! Your card is: what's under the bed waiting for you?

...

The winner is: chopped up rotting corpses waiting to be consumed by four-year-olds!

Sango: me again, thanks!

Kagome: ok, your card is: Miroku's guilty pleasure

...

The winner is: cutting off other guys' balls...

Miroku: uhhh that was mine...

Everyone: 0.0

Sango: it's my turn; what's Naraku's guilty pleasure?

...

Miroku's tentacle porn!

Rin: haha! I win! **** you! *stuffs the card in her training bra*

Miroku: my turn again; what's Kagura's fan replacement?

...

Miroku's lecherous hand... detached...

Inuyasha: keh; you losers. And it's my turn so, what does Byakuya use as lipstick?

...

a vanilla pudding cup labeled Miroku's sweet nectar...

Rin: suckas! *stuffs the card down her pants* and your card is Shippo's mission to find _

...

Flying poopy

I put that one down haha!

Kagome: wait you're the judge!

Rin: I know!

Kagome: well it's my turn, so what does Miroku dream about?

Miroku: why are all of these about me?!

Everyone: because you're you!

Miroku: *imagines sulking in a corner listening to Adele while eating cookie dough ice cream*

Kagome and the winner is... Filling every hole with hot fudge

Sango: haha! I'm winning! And your next card is what was Naraku's last thought before becoming a pile of shit?

...

Becoming so angry that you pop a boner...

Myoga: that was me!

Inuyasha: how the hell did you get here?!

Myoga: I've been here the whole time!

Sesshomaru: *bursts in* Rin I told you not to go in my closet!

Rin: well you also told me not to touch your fluff, but you didn't punish me! And when Jaken did it you hissed at him and hit him with a frying pan!

Everyone else: 0.0

Sesshomaru: we're going home


	26. The Chapter Without Roku

Crazy Girls

Chapter 26: The Chapter Without Roku

Kagome: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN POCKY?! *growls and tears apart your room looking for said box of chocolate pocky sitting not even two feet from her, directly behind her*

Panda: ((Wait are we role playing now I wasn't expecting this))

FireHanyou: ((Yush we r))

Yasha-Bae: It's RIGHT behind you...

Kagome:...Oh... *sweatdrop*

Sango: I'm supposed to be watching a show that Ayame told me to watch but I guess it'll have to wait

Kagome: No go ahead, I'll fix your room and get rid of all the candy, cake, pocky, and chocolate except for your butterscotch in which I'll take some... *cleans at warp-speed*

Sango: dude if you clean so fast I won't even get anything watched

Kagome: *pauses from throwing half of the sweets out the window* Oh, sorry...

Sango: ...can't Rin just press a button

Yashie: *covers my mouth* SHHH IF YOU SAY HER NAME SHE'LL SHOW UP

Kagome: WAIT! Have ANYONE of you noticed I've BARELY SAID ANY CUSS WORDS?!

Rin: Someone called?

Shippo: *still asleep*

Sango: Shippo can't you go sleep in a nearby tree or something?

Shippo: *shifts and ends up falling out the window on a tree branch*

Sango: when did this chapter suddenly go straight down the drain

Kagome: When Keira started making all this noise including yelling about making her own language...

Sango: ok can we not talk about the outer-frame I've already had enough of this framed-text shit at school

Sango: HAHAHA I CUSSED BEFORE YOU FOR ONCE

Kagome: *glares and grabs her pocky nd Yasha* Fuck you *leaves*

Sango: WAIT DONT LEAVE ME HERE WITH- oh wait, Roku's not actually here... I'm finally alone...

Kagome: EXCUSE ME BUT I WAS THE ONE YELLING GODDAMN SO FUCK YOU STRAIT UP THE MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU BISHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sango: dude I thought you left

Kagome: Go fuck ur perverted peice of shit monk...

Sango: he's not even here!

Kagome: I don't care! Have I ever made sense? No! *eats more pocky*

Sango: why don't you just go somewhere with Yashie?!

Kagome: that's what I was already planning you bishhhh *glares and grabs Yasha dragging him out the door while he eats a chocolate chip cookie*

Sango: *sigh* now I really am alone... It's amazing...

Roku: *rises from the pits of hell* hello my lovely Sango! It seems that you are lonely

Sango: no I was actually enjoying it very much thank you

Miroku: well I'll enjoy it with you

Sango: I was finally enjoying some peace and quiet without my greatest enemy rotting in a heap on the floor, a cute yet annoying fox demon asleep on my own bed, a possibly gay dog yokai and his annoying thirteen year old who owns a club showing up uninvited, and my best friend cussing me out and dragging her hanyou husband around for show and tell.

Miroku: that sounds tough...

Sango: well I left out the part about you and your supposedly cursed hand trying to grope me without a second thought

Miroku: you wound me so, dearest Sango! I am but I mere humble monk who wishes to indulge in the beauty of the opposite sex

Sango: oh gimme a break! *slaps*

Miroku: *gets slapped by the air as well*

*closet door opens and Koga and Ayame fall out onto the floor*

Sango: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU TWO BETTER LEAVE BEFORE I REALLY DO CALL THE COPS!

Koga and Ayame: *magically disappear*


	27. Sango's Day Off

Crazy Girls

Chapter 26: Sango's Day Off part 1

Shippo: I WANT CANDY

Kagome: HI SON

Kagome: Don't ruin the insanity

Sango: Oh it's still insanity

Kagome: The Insanitists will be very very displeased

Sango: You mean you and I?

Kagome: More than that, baby

Kagome: Wait, what?!

Kagome: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Kagome: SANGO WHAT

Sango: wtf

Shippo: MOMMY INUYASHA WAS BEING A JERK TO ME!

Kagome: INUYASHA!

Sango: here we go again...

Yasha: WHAT DID I DO NOW?!

Kagome: GO IN YOUR GOD DAMN CORNER! BAD DOG! BAD!

Miroku: Let's just sit back and watch the moron get killed... *puts arm around Sango's waist*

Sango: hands off pervert! *doesnt actually try to move his arm just yells at him*

Kagome: And I'm called bipolar...

Sango: what was that?

Keira: THATS MY JOB YOU BITCH

Jami: Keira stop it..I'll buy you chocolate...

The ACTUAL Jami: why the hell are you being me stop it

Keira: ...BYE BITCHES

Kagome: Well now those two are gone, so what now

Miroku: *moves hand lower*

Sango: *twists his arm in a way that it shouldn't be twisted*has fire in her eyes with a dead expression* stop

Kagome: Ya know wht? I'm getting you that Valium...

Sango: what's Valium..?

Panda: ((Wait hold up

Sango: *drops his arm* What's Valium..?

Panda: ((continue

Kagome: A relaxant... My dad took it when he took his drivers test

Sango: the only one that needs to relax is this pervert

Kagome: Well how about I put Viagra in all of his favorite foods so much that he can't enjoy them?

Sango: um if you put Viagra in his food I will honestly murder you and him and probably an innocent pedestrian as well

Kagome: Aw but I wanna see him get pissed off that he can't eat his fave foods when he keeps getting a major boner because of it!

Sango: Kagome the only one who would end up hurting from that is me

Sango: you might as well put Viagra in all of MY favorite foods

Kagome: Hell I did it to Yasha once! I put Viagra in his food when he was in the bathroom at this fancy restaurant

Sango: WTF

Kagome: When he stood up a woman screamed

Sango: I bet that resulted in a place on your very long list

Kagome: Then the manager asked us to leave, so we snuck in through the back and did it on one of the tables in the kitchen when no one was there! It had food on it, and then a waiter took it to a table, it had a food critic seated there

Sango: WHY TF WOULD YOU DO THAT

Kagome: The food critic found out, and shut the place down. It serves him right for kicking us out!

Sango: you could have at least told me this story wen Roku wasn't right- hey where did he go?

Yasha: Wait you did WHAT to my food?!

Kagome: Shit... GOTTA GO!

Sango: I'm actually finally alone now!

Kirara: Meow

*translation: All of our friends are idiots are they not?

Sango: *sigh* I agree...

Kirara: Meow! *translation: I say we should just lock them out...

Sango: -.- why didn't I think of that sooner

Rin: KITTY KITTY!

Kirara: MEOW! *translation: HELP ME!

Fluffy: Rin we're going

Rin: Bye bye Kitty

Sango: *locks the doors as soon as they leave* that was a close one

Kirara: Meow? *translation: Want to go get a snack?

Sango: but if we leave the house someone will find us...

Kirara: Meow meow meow! *translation: Hide us hide us hide us!*

*magic sparkles fly around you two and you disappear*

Sango: whoa what happened...?

Kirara: Meow meow. *translation: It's a hiding spell.

Sango: cool lets get some food

Both: *leave*

TBC


	28. Behind The Scenes

Intermission-Chapter-To-Hold-You-Over-Cuz-We-Owe-You-One:

Kagz: *sends pic of clear glass bathtub* HOLY FUCK I FUCKING WANT THIS

San: but that would make it too easy to make a sextape

San: I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT

Kagz: Well I might be in one

San: Don't be

Kagz: Too late

Kagz: Yasha and I...

San: yeah right

San: Actually that's pretty believable in this story...

Kagz: I knew it

Kagz: You want the video?

San: Um no thanks...

Kagz: Suit yourself...


	29. Sango's Day Off (Part Two)

Crazy Girls

Chapter 29: Sango's Day Off Part 2

Starring Panda as Sango and FireHanyou as Kirara

Sango: I need food Kirara I'm gonna starve

Kirara: MEOW! *translation: I'm gonna use a spell to give me a human form...that way we can both get food

Kirara: How do I look?

Sango: omg you're so pretty! Now let's get some food... Wait! We should go spy on our friends and see what they do when they're not with me...!

Kirara: Well I know for a fact that the kit Shippo is asleep in the tree...

Sango: but what about Kagome and Inuyasha?! Unless they're fricklefracking cuz I don't wanna see that...

Kirara: Well lets fly, I can still do that in this form

Sango: let's go!

Kirara: *arrives at Kags house in five minutes* Well from the sounds of it, they're just eating ice cream and watching home movies

Sango: Kirara were invisible; lets go inside the house

Kirara and Sango: *walk in*

Kagome: I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY!

Yasha: You fell face first into a bucket of glue then tripped and fell onto a chicken!

Kagome: I CHASED A CHICKEN ONCE WHEN I WAS LITTLE!

Fire: ((I did that too! Got it on video...

Sango: this is boring I. I wonder what Miroku's doing...

Kagome: SHUT THE HELL UP DAMNIT!

Yasha: Hey you hear that?

Kagome: What? Is it Shippo laughing like a villain again?

Yasha: No sounds like...Sango and some woman...

Sango: *thinks: oh no they're on to us! But they can't see us...*

Kagome: Uhhh...I WANT CHOCOLATE!

Yasha: The hell?! What is wrong with you?!

Kagome: DONT YOU LOVE ME?!

Kagome: *makes slight hand movement to signal you two to leave*

Kirara: *thinking: She knew?!*

Sango: *thinks: maybe she won't know if we don't leave...*

Kagome: COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!

*translation: I'm not an idiot, leave

Sango: damnit...

Yasha: What the hell are you on?

Sango: fine lets go find Roku

Kirara: Come along. *flies to Miroku's temple*

Miroku: *is talking to the wall*

Panda: ((you can take it from here

Miroku: So I'm thinking 'why won't she just like say that she loves me' I already know she secretely loves when I grope her!

Wall: ...

Miroku: I KNOW RIGHT! Women...

Sango: 0.o

Kirara: Please let me claw his eyes out...

Sango: *wait I have an idea!*

Sango: *pretends to be the wall and talks in a ridiculous voice* Miroku you should... Tell her how you feel instead of groping her all the time!

Miroku: YOU'RE RIGHT TOM! ...Wait, why do you sound like a girl?

Wall (Sango): ...I'm going through puberty right now so my voice sounds really weird...

Miroku: I thought you were twenty six

Wall: ...walls live longer than you humans usually so I am indeed an adolescent

Kirara: This is your conscious. Don't be an idiot, just tell Sango you love her!

Miroku: Oh that makes sense...THANKS YOU TWO!

Miroku: I'm going to tell her now!

Wall: no problem! And you should probably wait until she gets home

Wall: ...I only know that because I'm, err, psychic

Miroku: What am I thinking of

Wall: Women

Miroku: You are Jesus

Sango and Kirara: *race home*

Sango: turn the fucking invisibility off rn omg

Kirara: inchantment dispell!

*doorbell rings*

Miroku: SANGO I LOVE YOU!

Panda: ((You forgot the part where I open the door

Fire: ((He screamed it through the door

Panda: ((No

Fire: ((Funnier that way

Panda: ((No no watch

Sango: *opens the door*

Panda: ((Continue now ? ﾟﾘﾂ

Panda: ((Say the thing again

Miroku: SANGO I LOVE YOU!

Sango: *slams the door*

Kirara: What was that about? I thought you wanted him to declare he loved you...

Sango: *opens the door cautiously*

Miroku: I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING!

Sango: -.- wtf

Kirara: Fool...

Miroku: YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT SLOW THEN YOU ROCK OUT THE SHOW!

Kirara: WHY ARE YOU SINGING HANNAH MONTANA

Miroku: Who are you?

Sango: WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM IM TOO COOL FOR YOU

Sango: also this is Kirara

Miroku: But she's a cat demon

Sango: she's a demon so she has a human form

Kirara: there's spells to make a demon that's animal based become human

Sango: also she's magic

Kirara: Why is your boyfriend an idiot?

Sango: he's not my boyfriend!

Kirara: Sureeeeeee

Sango: he's not!

Miroku: I'm not?

Sango: what the- no I never said you were you idiot!

Miroku: I I I NEED MY MOMMA

Miroku: BUT SHE BROKE MY FAVORITE STAFF ON EASTER!

Fire: ((See what I did there?

Sango: ENOUGH WITH THE REFERENCES MIROKU CAN WE GET BCK TO THE PART WHERE YOU SAID THAT YOU LOVE ME ARE WE SERIOUSLY GONNA LET THAT HANG IN THE AIR DOING NOTHING

Fire: ((Can we pik up later, I wanna nap

Panda: ((Nooo nap later

Fire: ((I take naps in hot weather

Fire: ((DONT JUDGE ME

Fire: ((Bai bai

Panda: ((Miroku just declared his love you can't just leave!

-one very long day later (not in the rp of course we can't just skip that far ahead)-

Kagome: What's up? I just finished yelling at Feudal Fido for bein an ass...

Kagome: What's up? I just finished yelling at Feudal Fido for bein an ass...

Kagome: HOLY SHIT WHO ARE YOU?!

Sango: *facepalm*

Miroku: Why do I even bother

Sango: bother doing what?

Miroku: Trying to be a scholar

Kagome: HE MEANS TO BE A MR SMARTIMACLES!

Sango: ok then... Kagome shouldn't you be with Inuyasha? I mean I wouldn't leave him alone like that...

Kagome: ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE MY MAN?!

Sango: um no I'm saying you should go do something with Inuyasha

Kagome: What do you mean ' do something' I already did him on everthing in the immediate vicinity

Sango: *facepalm* NO I MEANT YOU SHOULD GO HANG OUT WITH HIM

Sango: TAKE A HINT GODDAMNIT

Kagome: YOU DONT WANT YOUR BEST FRIEND HERE?! FINE FUCK YOU! *leaves*

Miroku: why did you just tell her to leave?

Sango: BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN TO ME

TBC


	30. The One Where Sango Won't Stop Cussing

Crazy Girls

Chapter 30: The One Where Sango Won't Stop Cussing

Kagome: So San, WHY WERE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!

Sango: *shrugs* I was bored

Kagome: WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SCREW YOUR BOYFRIEND LIKE I DO WHEN IM BORED?!

Sango: HES NOT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND

Kagome: SO YOU ARE FUCKING HIM!

Fire: ((see what I did there?))

Sango: NO IM NOT COME ON MIROKU HELP ME OUT HERE

Roku: *looks up from porn magazine with Sango's face glued on the women's faces* Huh?

Sango: *facepalm*

Kagome: *laughing hysterically at the moron* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sango: MIROKU GET YOUR FACE OUT OF THAT SEXIST TRASH AND MAKE OUT WITH ME

Roku: *shoots up hopefully* REALLY?!

Sango: *facepalm again*

Yasha: Idiot...

Sango: hmm Miroku let me see... Only if you promise to never ever read porn ever again...

Roku: As long as I'm with you my love, I'd give it up in a heartbeat!

Sango: eh?! *thinks: what the hell do I even say now?!*

Kagome: I'll take over! *chucks porn out of the window and it lands across the street in front of little kids*

Sango: u-um...

Kagome: Whoops...I think I just created the newest molesters...

Sango: *still flustered*

Kagome: Well good luck with the pervert...BAI BAI

Kagome: *disappears with Yasha*

*shredded chocolate starts raining from the ceiling*

Sango: what... The fuck...

Rin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT SHALL RAIN CANDY AGAIN! *laughs evilly once more*

Sesshomaru: Rin, you are to be in bed.

Rin: THATS WHAT THE GOVERNMET WANTS YOU TO THINK

Miroku: not this again...

Sango: goddamnit Miroku just hurry up and kiss me you idiot

Roku: OK! *smooch*

Sesshomaru: THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR RIN TO SEE

Sango: OH YEAH WELL WHAT ABOUT THIS *grabs Miroku's face and makes out with him*

Sesshomaru: KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON WENCH

Roku: DONT YOU DARE INSULT MY LOVE

Sango: err... YEAH! Also why the hell are you guys in my house anyways get the fuck out

Rin: WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Rin: WHAT DOES FUCK MEAN?!

Sango: Rin the only reason you don't know is because you've never gone to public school

Sango: ...or school at all

Rin: I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL, FLUFFY

Sesshomaru (Fluffy): *mumbles something*

((Fire: He mumbled 'shoot me in the fucking face'

Kagome: YOU ARE VERY INAPPROPRIATE!

Sango: well have fun taking Rin to school Sesshy! ILL SEE YOU LATER NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE SO I CAN DO... WHAT I WANT

Yasha: KAGOME WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!

Kagome: Oh yeah... BAI BAI BITCHES

Miroku: wait weren't we in the middle of something too?

Sango: oh yeah!

*make out session resumes*

Shippo: *in an extremely cheerful voice* fucking savage!

Kagome: SHIPPO! BAD FOX BAD!

Shippo: HEHEHEHAHAHA *runs away*

Rin: *mumbles* little bitch...

Rin: GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE FLUFFY TAILED SHIT

Kagome: FUCK YOU FLUFFY

*"Everybody Talks" starts playing in the background*

Kagome: HERE'S A DILDO, GO SHOVE IT UP YOUR-

Yasha: *kisses her*

Sango: *whispers to Miroku* why does she have a dildo if she has Yashie?

Kagome: I KEEP IT FOR FAGS! I HAVEN'T EVEN USED IT! HELL I LET JAKOTSU HAVE IT ONCE

Sango: I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT

Kagome: BUNNY PLUS BUNNY EQUALS MANY BUNNIES

Miroku: *taps Sango on the shoulder*

Sango: Wha-

*makeout session resumes once again*

((Basically some shit happens with Koga and Kagz in the closet and idek I don't feel like copy and pasting))

Sango: not this shit again

Ayame: STUPID I LOVE YOU! HELL I RESTARTED YOUR CLAN WITH YOU

Sango: WHY DONT YOU TWO GO FUCK IN THE FOREST OR SOME SHIT

Ayame: BECAUSE THERE'S DWARVES AN FAIRIES AND OTHER STUFF AN IM AFRAID OF THEM

Koga: *arm around Aya* it's alright baby we can go somewhere else

Sango: GO IN MY SHED OUT BACK I DONT CARE JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

Meanwhile:

Shippo: STOP CHASING ME

Rin: I SAID GET BACK HER YOU LITTLE SHIT

Shippo: LIKE YOU HAVE ROOM TO TALK

Rin: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Anyways:

Sango: ok can you all get out of my house I'm not ending his chapter until no one is here

Miroku: whatever you want my love...

Sango: Oh no Miroku you can stay

Kagome: *slowly twitching in anger* Everyone...

Kagome: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT ALONG WITH ME

Kagome: OR ELSE SOMEONE WILL END UP A SMOLDERING PILE OF SHIT AND I'LL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A BLOODY ACCIDENT!

Everyone: *suddenly disappears into thin air leaving MirSan alone*

Sango: well that was... Easy...

Kagome: Finally...I'll see you later guys...Miroku, MAKE SURE TO FERTALIZE HER EGGS!

Sango: WHAT THE FUCK KAGOME

Kagome: *disappears with Yasha who looks confused*

Sango: WERE NOT EVEN MARRIED GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME

Wind: WHOOSH

((Fire: Annnnddddddd, THAT'S A WRAP!


	31. VEGAS BABY !

Crazy Girls

Chapter 31: VEGAS BABY!

Kagome: Sango, where's my plane ticket?

Sango: up ur butt

Kagome: That's not very nice of you

Sango: yeah well I'm not very nice. Can we just get this trip over with? Why are we even going to Vegas in the first place?!

Yasha: So you can get the sword out of your ass

Sango: fight me dog boy

Miroku: Stop talking to my love that way!

Sango: I'm not your love you perv

Miroku: I am offended, Dearest Sango!

Kagome: This isn't Jerry Springer

Sango: can we just go before Kagz makes even more references that I don't understand?

Shippo: I wanna go to Hooters

Sango: Shippo there is no way you are coming with us

Kirara: *in human form* you're staying here with me and we're gonna have some fun

Shippo: What kind of fun?

Sango: *glares at Kirara*

Kirara: *glares back* any kind of fun you want

Kagome: Anyway! Lets just board the damn plane

Sango: *glares at Kirara again* yeah let's go...

-on the plane-

Yashie: OWWW MY EARS FUCKING HURT

Kagome: Here, chew some gum

Yasha: Why the fuck would I do that?

Kagome: It'll ease the pressure on your ears

Miroku: Lady Kagome, you seem very calm, even with Inuyasha being a belligerent fool

Kagome: Eh, someone drugged my coffee this morning I think... So yeah, I'm pretty calm

Yasha: *is talking to a flight attendant* Look lady I don't want any fuckin drink or whatever, so leave me alone, damnit!

Kagome: *slaps ducktape over his mouth* Please excuse him eheh...

Sango: *stares out the window*

Miroku: *whispers to Sango* hey you wanna have sex in the bathroom?

Sango: NO YOU PERV! *SSLLLAAAAPPP* Kagome can we change seats?!

Kagome: That's what I was waiting for. Sure

Kagome and Sango: *switch seats and Inuyasha glares at both girls, still having the ducktape over his lips* Mmhmhmhmhm hmhmhmhm mhmhmhmhmhmhm!

Sango: Are you alright, Yashie? Do you want the tape off?

Inuyasha: *nods vigorously*

Sango: *rips it off really fast*

Kagome: *whispering to Miroku whose drinking some water* Ya know it's bad enough if your kid tells you they masturbate, but it's even worse if the say ' I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!'

Miroku: *eyes go wide and spits out drink*

Kagome: *laughing at Miroku who also got yelled at by the woman in front of him*

Inuyasha: *starts yelling nonsense*

Sango: *whispers in his ear in a sexy voice* if you don't shut up I'm going to have to shut you up myself...*

Kagome: *hears and shoots up* I KNEW YOU WERE TRYING TO TAKE MY MAN!

Sango: shhh Kagome it was reverse psychology goddamnit!

Kagome: Oh *blinks stupidly*

Miroku: may I suggest that we just change our seats back?

Kagome: Can we please switch seats? This kid keeps- *gets kicked from behind* -kicking my seat and I don't want to do something rash

Sango: *sigh* fineee

Kagome: *while switching whispers in Sango's ear* make sure to give that brat your best 'leave me alone or die monk' glare...

Sango: *glares at Miroku as she sits down* just so you know, I am not sitting here because of my own will.

Miroku: *merely smiles and looks out the window*

-In Vegas-

Yasha: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS PLACE IS HUGE

Kagome: SHUT UP

Sango: *is in a really bad mood because all of her luggage got lost*

Miroku: Hey Kagz you and Yash probably want your own room right right so that means I'm sharing one with Sango right?!

Sango: OH HELLL NO

Kagome: No! Sango's sharing with me, she's already had enough shit today

Sango: but if I share a room with you then you and Yashie will have to do it somewhere else like in the casino bathroom or something

Kagome: Actually it's *whispers* that time of the month, so we won't be fucking

Sango: ohhh k then... Good luck explaining that to him...

Kagome: Oh Yasha~! Remember when you said you smelt blood on my a couple of days ago?

Yasha: Yeah...Why?

Sango: ohhh k then... *blocks out their convo*

Kagome: Well...*shoves textbook from health in his arms and shows him the page, occasionally rephrasing words*

-Twenty minutes later-

Yasha: ...

Sango: so Miroku...yeah there's no point in making conversation with you

Kagome: Yasha..? *thinking: Did I kill him or something...?*

Miroku: well why don't you try?

Sango: nahhh... Let's go to the casino!

-Meanwhile back at Sango's house-

Shippo: KIRARA! I WANNA WIN THIS HIDE AND SEEK GAME DANGIT

Kirara: *is hiding in the fridge*

Kirara: *thinking: Good lord, don't let him find me... I don't want him to know I only suggested this so I could drink some milk...*

Shippo: KIRARA GET OUT HERE OR ILL GO TO HOOTERS MYSELF

Kirara: OH NO YOU WON'T

Shippo: *opens the fridge* GOTCHA

Kirara: Shit... ((At least she mumbles

Shippo: Come on let's go to Hooters!

Kirara: No way. Maybe if you had a magical spell to make you like seventeen...

Narrator: -Some Odd Hours Later- Inuyasha had gotten over the trauma Kalme subjected him to, and now everyone was in a casino. Sango and Miroku were playing some game and he was winning, Inuyasha an Kagome were playing with the alot machines and Yasha won, and they all got drunk too.

Kagome: Yasha stop trying to climb the magic bean stalk! I'm gonna get the Golden Egg damnit!

Yasha: Buut the mean lady beat me in Patty Cake, I just wannted to gget a p-partry

Sango MIROKU LOOK I FOUND A FUCKIN POKER CHIP ON THE FUCKING FLOOR ISNT THAT FUCKING HILARIOUS?!

Miroku: *surprisingly(or not) has a great tolerance for alcohol* yes that's great Sango...

Kagome: GET DOWN FROM THERE ZELDA! I WILL BANISH YOU FROM EDOLAS

Kagome: MIROKU!

Miroku: umm what Kagome?

Kagome: I WANT A GIANT PUPPY MADE OF OF FUCK

Miroku: umm good luck with that...

Kagome: SANGO PLAN A!

Miroku: wait where did Sango go?!

Sango: is making out with some guy while sitting on a poker table*

Kagome: THATS NOT PLAN A YOU SLUT!

Kagome: YASHA PLAN A!

Yasha: GOT IT! *suddenly has a bag if vases and throws them with one hand, his other hand having his claws dug into the ceiling* UPSIDE DOWN HANYOU ATTACK! VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE

Miroku: *runs over and punches the guy* get off my woman!

Sango: ROKUUUUEY! *tries to make out with Miroku*

Kagome: HI I'M KAGOME AND I'D LIKE TO SING FOR YOU

Kagome: *starts singing a random la la la tune*

Sango: *pushes Miroku on the ground and runs over to Kagome*

Kagome: GET OFF OF ME! I'MMA WARRIOR DAMNIT!

Sango: BUT I WANNA SING!

Kagome: WELL HERE I HAVE TO GO FIGHT A BASTARD

Kagome: *hand microphone to Sango* GET OUT HERE TOU FUCKING COWARD NARAKU I'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING HEAD AND SEND YOU DOWN HELL LANE FOR FUCKING ETERNITY

Miroku: *to Inuyasha* our women...

Inuyasha: *starts laughing maniacally*

Kagome: WHAT WAS THAT CADET?!

Sango: IM A SHOOTING STAR LEAPING THROUGH THE SKYYYY LIKE A TIGER

Kagome: GO SANGO CHAN

Miroku: DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITEEEE

Kagome: SHUT UP CADET I DIDNT SAY YOU COULD SING

Sango: ITS NOT A DUET

Miroku: it is now!

Kagome: HELL NO!

Both: DONT STOP ME NOW! DONT STOP ME NOW!

Kagome: SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD DAMNIT MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ON GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING TOAST SHIT ASSHOLE BITCH MOTHER FU-

Public service lady: Due to excessive amounts of vulgarity we needed to redirect this to another scene. We're sorry for the inconvenience

Both trying to sing over each other: IM A ROCKETSHIP ON MY WAY TO MARS ON A COLLISION COURSE I AM A SATELLITE! IM OUTTA CONTROL! IM A SEX MACHINE READY TO RELOAD! LIKE AN ATOM BOMB ABOUT TO OH OH OH OHOH EXPLODE!

Sango and Miroku: *awesomely intense guitar solos*completely ignoring the public service lady*

Kagome: Sango I want chocolate

Sango: KAGOME IM GUITAR SOLOING!'

Kagome: B-but S-Sango... I I just wanted to to... *sobs*

Yasha: SANGO U BITCH U MADE MY MAYE CRY

Sango: whoops... I-I'm sorry Yashie... *starts to cry*

Kagome: YASHA YOU MADE SANGO CRY

Kagome: I wanna play spin the bottle Sannie

Sango: YEAH LETS PLAY

Miroku: you should all go to bed...

Sango: FIGHT ME MAGIC MAN

Kagome: SANGO USE HIRAIKOSU!

Yasha: IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

Miroku: please do not use illegal weaponry on me; I you want to play spin the bottle then let's play...

Kagome: YAYA

Yasha: Kagome can we-

Kagome: NO!

Kagome: Wait like five to eight days okay?

Miroku: wait you don't have a bottle to use

Sango: *chugs a whole beer* HERES A BOTTLE TO USE!

Kagome: THATS MY JOB

Kagome: *starts lookin like Cana from Fairy Tail*

-Time Skip-

Everyone's playing spin the bottle in Kagz and San's hotel room

Kagome: YAY IT'S MY TURN!

Kagome: If I have to kiss Miroku one more time I swear...

Kagome: *spins bottle and it lands on Yasha* YAY SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN

Sango: *slowly drinks beer and then stops and wipes mouth* so Miroku, you wanna do it in the bathroom?

Miroku: My love wouldn't you rather be aware and and sober to experience our first joining?

((Fire: He's also nursing head wounds from Inuyasha, from kissing Kagzie))

Sango: *slams bottle on the ground* WEVE DONE IT BEFORE

Kagome: WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG LADY?!

Sango: haven't we done it before? I think...

Yasha: As your father, I am very displeased, you're grounded, and now I will personally murder him. First he makes out with my mate and then I find out he did it with my daughter!

Yasha: Disgraceful

Sango: -_- you're not my dad

Kagome: Well technically you were adopted, but we wanted to wait to tell you, sweetheart...

Miroku: *stands up* ok this is getting out of hand... Can't you all just fall asleep already? I feel like the parent...

Sango: don't you all think it's weird that Miroku is the only sober one?

Yasha and Gome: We're the parents, you lecher... Now Sango honey, don't feel grossed out in a week or two when you hear me screwing your father, and technically I'm your sister as well

Sango: THATS IT IM OUT! *stands up and drags Miroku out of the room*

Kagome: WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?!

Kagome: Dear am I a bad mother for saying that?

Yasha: Sometimes we have those moments.. *cracks open a beer and lays back in a recliner that magically appeared along with flipping on a TV to the sports channel*

Miroku: San why are you taking me to my hotel room?

Sango: *shrugs* not gonna lie I kinda wanna screw you

Miroku: How about we wait until you're sober?

Sango: BUT I WONT WANNA DO IT WEN IM SOBER! ILL JUST DENY IT AND SLIGHTLY MURDER YOU

Kagome and Yasha: *somehow asleep*

Kagome: *wakes up and throws vase, hits Sango on the head and she falls to the ground asleep* You're welcome all those out there *goes back to sleep*

Miroku: KAGOME YOU- wait I really don't wanna wake her up...

Yasha: *wakes up and whispers* You really don't want to..

Miroku: *tucks Sango into bed*

((Fire: Can we continue this like sometime tomorrow or something? I don't want something weird like Yasha and Kagome claiming to be Sango's parents to happen again tonight))


	32. VEGAS BABY! (again)

Crazy Girls

Chapter 32: VEGAS BABY (again)

Disclaimer: neither of us have ever actually had alcohol so this won't make sense at all

-The Next Morning-

Kagome: *wakes up with MONSTER hangover* I HATE YOU ALL

Yasha: Shut up... *grumbles and falls back asleep*

Kagome: *walks out in red lace bra nd panties set* Roku what happened last night?

Miroku: *just took a shower* you all got fucking drunk

Sango: *still asleep in bed*

Miroku: And is it a little breezy Kagome?

Kagome: Huh?

Miroku: Look down.

Kagome: *does as told, blushes, screams and runs back into hotel room*

Sango: *sits up and looks like a fucking goddess* huh? Miroku what happened?

Miroku: *eyes widen at her beauty* uhh... Uh you... *shakes head* you really don't want to know

Kagome: Yashie-bear what happened?!

Miroku: well first there was the singing, which I had to join in on, of course, Inuyasha tried to climb the TV, and then we all played spin the bottle, which resulted in you and Yash claiming to be Sango's new parents. Oh, and Sango tried to sleep with me.

Sango: I did WHAT?!

Kagome: WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN AUDITION PAPERS?!

Sango: audition papers?

Kagome: Yeah

Sango: whatever; I'm gonna go take a shower...

Kagome: I just got a call from this movie set people and they want us to audition for their movie

Miroku: you AND yash?

Kagome: *hears a pissing sound and hears crinkling of paper* Yasha those better not be my papers...

Yasha: *freezes*

Miroku: *mutters* the dog ate your homework...

Kagome: No I think he pissed on them, but at least I have copies...

Kagome: I KNEW I should have set him outside last night, let him do that shit out there and not on my GOD DAMN PAPERS

Miroku: well have fun punishing him...

Kagome: Oh believe me, I will *licks lips*

Sango: *just stepped out of the shower* I'm gonna ignore that...

Kagome: YASHA TIME TO GO

Yasha: what for?

Kagome: MY PERIODS OVER, FUCK ME DAMNIT

Woman with three kids: *gasps* How very inappropriate!

Miroku: *mutters* savage...

Kag: Shit...

Yasha: Not again

Miroku: why the fucks did you bring three kids to Las Vegas

Woman: WHY NOT

Miroku: whoops I meant to say that in my head...

Sango: *peaks out of the bathroom wearing a towel* Yeah I forgot that I lost my luggage and I don't have any clothes...

Kag: Here use these

Kagome: *hands you clothes* Dont be pissed at me though. I can't help what I pack

Sango: Kagome I am NOT wearing these...

Miroku: I have a T-shirt you can use if you want it.

Sango: fine but Kagome I just need to borrow some underwear

Kagome: Ok here

Sango: *mutters* can you get any more slutty...

Kagome: Hey I can't help it that Ayame accidentally packed a pair of her thongs...

Kagome: Wait a minute, DONT USE THOSE!

Kagome: IT'S GOT WOLF PLUS WOLF GERMS ON IT

Sango: I would rather go commando *tosses thong out the window*

Thong: *lands on child's head*

Kid: What's this Mommy?

Woman: *screams*

Kagome: Sorry here. I just bought these...

Sango: as long as they're clean

Kagome: they are

Sango: k *disappears into the bathroom*

...

Miroku why does your t-shirt say "Female Body Inspector?"

Miroku: must have packed the wrong shirt...

Kagome: Lemme call Ayame so I can scream at her... *dials Ayame* YOU BITCH! WHY DID YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING THONG IN MY BAG?! THAT HAS KOGA FUCK GUNK ON IT DAMN YOU TO HELL

Kagome: Sango I have a shirt for you instead

Sango: yeah I don't think this will fit me; why is it so tight?!

Kagome: Oh wait... that's Shiori's from when we had a sleepover last month... Sorry, here. I think this is your size

Sango: BUT ITS SEE THROUGH

Kagome: JUST WEAR THE DAMN SHIRT

Kagome: I thought it was black.. Is that why a lady screamed when I wore that once?

Miroku: wait I thought you and Yash were gonna go screw?

Kagome: My head hurts now so I wouldn't be able to scream anyway

Kagome: And it would be too hot to do anything soo

Sango: *mutters* TMI...

Sango: ok I'm just gonna wear Miroku's sweatshirt and I need pants

Yasha: I found these in your closet...Oh what these are Kagome's from that one time when we-

Miroku: Alright can we keep it PG please?

Sango: it's already too late for that

Kagome: MY HEAD STILL HURTS GOD DAMNIT

Sango: guys seriously I dont have any pants

Kagome: I have a pair of shorts you could wear...

Kagome: My American cousin forced me to go to church and I had to wear these

Kagome: Stupid religious stuff

Sango: you needed shorts for church..?

Kagome: It was summer damnit

Sango: Kagome these are pretty short; how long ago was that?

Kagome: Two weeks ago

Kagome: Hang on, there's a spell I can use to make it larger for you

Panda: ((Please don't use magic on the premises

Fire: ((But we let Kirara...

Panda: ((Yeah cuz she's special

Fire: ((and I'm not?!

Panda: ((No you just can't use magic

Panda: ((It's a cat demon thing

Panda: ((So I guess Rin can use magic

Panda: ((Which makes sense

Fire: ((What can I do?

Panda: ((fuck Inuyasha

Fire: ((I hate you

Panda: ((no you don't

Sango: hold on *disappears into the bathroom*

Sango: *comes out wearing underwear, Miroku's sweatshirt, and Kagome's really short shorts*

Miroku: *on the verge of nosebleed*

Kagome: Just send Kirara an email or something and have her use her kitty magic. Or Rin for that matter

Sango: yeah because you can't even see that I'm wearing any shorts. But I don't think that will work and if we tell Rin that we're here she will follow us

Kagome: Just say that you'll give her more candy to fix your shorts, and hope she'll keep her mouth shut

Sango: only I don't have my laptop because it got lost with my luggage

Kagome: Isn't it your birthday today?

Sango: oh fuck yeah

Kagome: Happy birthday!

Kagome: *shoves a box in your face*

Sango: *tears open* omg a new laptop!

Sango: wow how'd you know I would lose my luggage

Kagome: I didn't, I just bought if because the engraving reminded me of you

Engraving: pervert slayer

Sango: wow...

Miroku: *looks at random watch* guys if you want free breakfast we have to be there in less than five minutes

Kagome: DAMN LETS GO

All four: *race down to breakfast and eat like all the food(especially Yashie)*

Yashie: Mehahnflhamfksh hdihvdigs jhdkuna

Miroku: Chew, swallow, then talk

Yasha: *swallows food* This shit is fuckin good

Sango: you're gonna choke

Kagome: Then I can do CPR

Miroku: CPR is for when you ant breathe

Kagome: He wouldn't be able to breathe if he's choking

Sango: never mind...

Kagome: SHUT UP

Sango: so what should we do today guys?

Yasha: Strip club?

Kagome: *slap* PERVERT

Miroku: whoa Yash

Sango: Miroku don't even comment

Kagome: Now I know how you feel Sango

Sango: hopefully you won't have to get used to it *glares*

Kagome: Actually I might...

Miroku: *mutters* you're the one who wants to fuck him all the time...

Kagome: THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN GO TO A STRIP CLUB DAMNIT YOU PERVERT!

Miroku: no, no, that isn't what I meant at all! But if Yash is becoming a pervert I can understand his reasoning

Sango: just stop talking. Just stop.

-awkward pause-

Sango: why don't we all get drunk today? We can't drink all day if we don't start in the morning

Yashie: you sound like a middle aged mom...

Kagome: Didn't we get drunk last night?

Sango: yeah but I never get drunk back home; whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

Inuyasha: again with the cheesy lines...

Sango: I'm gonna go tell the bartender at the casino to make sure all of us always have a drink in our hand!

Kagome: Why...?

Sango: BECAUSE I NEVER GET DRUNK AT HOME SO WE HAVE TO DO IT NOW

Sango: don't worry I'm sure we'll drink slow during the day...

Kagome: Well jeez, Mrs. Prude bitch ass sober lady

Sango: see if we were drunk I would take no offense to that comment you just made

Kagome: Well I am drunk so fuck you

Sango: how tf are you already drunk

Kagome: My water bottle was actually filled with Russian Vodka

Sango: WELL I BET I CAN GET EVEN DRUNKER

Miroku: please don't...

Kagome: What happened last time?

Miroku: it was just really tiring for me; I don't get drunk as easily so I had to keep up with all of you

Miroku: plus it's really frustrating when Sango begs me to sleep with her and I know that I can't take advantage of her like that

Sango: you could be a bit more subtle you know

Kagome: SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE MY FUCKING LUCKY SCOTCH IS GOD DAMNIT

Sango: I dunno but I'm gonna get like a lot of alcohol and bath in it upstairs

Kagome: I did that a few times, my hair had Tequila in it for two weeks...

Sango: well I'll just put my hair up then

Miroku: as much as I want to see how this turns out you probably shouldn't...

Kagome: I did it with Yasha in a tub full of booze

Yasha: Wasn't that New Years?

Kagome: Yeah...

Sango: you did it with someone?!

Miroku: oh don't start

Kagome: Sango take a fucking chill pill! I thought you knew this after all the damn times Yash and I disappear durin our sleepovers

Miroku: I have one question for you Sango; when did you become such a pervert?!

Kagome: When she said she wanted to fuck you! Yeah I saw the fucking video on YouTube!

Yash: I'm scarred

Kagome: Shut it you

Yash: Yes ma'am...

Sango: *isnt there to make a comment*

Miroku: wait where did Sango go?!

Kagome: I think she dissentegrated...

Yash: May I speak, ma'am?

Kagome: Sure...

Yash: Thank you ma'am...

Kag: Boy, I'm your bitch/mate/wife but I am not a ma'am, damnit.. Stop acting pussy whipped and act like yourself

Yash: Oi Miroku, where the fuck is the Bourbon

Miroku: wait you aren't married how are you his wife?

Kag: Dude, we got married last year

Kag: You were too busy trying to fuck your girlfriend to notice

Miroku: when was that?! Why wasn't I invited?

Kag: Again, you were too busy trying to fuck my sister

Miroku: wasn't she invited tho?

Kag: She was too busy trying to get away from YOUR hormone driven ass

Miroku: but now she wants to fuck me?

Kag: Well she's had her taste of alcohol... She also tried to shove her fingers up my-

Miroku: no she didn't; I wasn't drunk remember? Oh wait, you don't remember

Kag: We were at a hot spring, and she was drunk I think... Or maybe not...

Miroku: can't believe I missed that...

Kag: Well it was pretty hot, of course in retaliation I shoved **********************************************************************

*Yasha slaps hand over her mouth*

Yash: Alright, I think that's enough for one day...

Miroku: *eyes closed* control yourself...

Kag: Shut the hell up before I whip you... *whip magically appears* Don't test me, Houshi

Yash: You really don't wanna test her, she got me with that thing too...

Miroku: ya know we should probably find Sango... *maybe if I change the subject...*

Kag: A) yeah we should and B) don't change the fucking subject

Miroku: alright I'll check the hotel room, Kagome check the ladies room, and Yash check the casino

-after searching and no one finds her-

Kag: Wait didnt she say she was gonna take a booze bath?

Miroku: yeah but she isn't in either hotel room...

Kag: So what? I took a booze bath in a empty parking lot once...

Miroku: so where do you think she is?!

Kagome: Well she said something about ramen

Miroku: where woul she get ramen?! If she's passed out in a shopping cart at the grocery store I will kill you

Kagome: I passed out in a bathtub in Home Depot once...

Miroku: she doesn't even know where the grocery store is! And neither do we for that matter

Kagome: Well actually, there's a store really close... She must've gone in there... B-But...

Miroku: but what?!

Kagome: W-Well... It's a...a...

Miroku: WHAT?!

Kagome: IT'S A SEX SHOP

Miroku: we have to go find her right now

Kagome: I MAY HAVE FUCKED MY MATE AND DONE MOST OF THE SHIT IN THERE, BUT I RE-FUCKING-FUSE TO GO IN THERE GOD DAMNIT!

Miroku: IM NOT GOING IN THERE ALONE!

Kagome: THATS WHAT MOST OF YOUR BEARING YOUR CHILD FANTASIES INVOLVE YOU PERVERTED PRUDE!

Miroku: I'm going to get her right now; why are we wasting time?! *runs out before anyone can say anything*

Kagome: I'll kill 'im

Inuyasha: why?

Kagome: BECAUSE HE LEFT WHILE I WAS RANTING!

Kagome: SANGO'S A BIG FUCKING GIRL DESPITE BEING DRUNK SHE IS CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF HERSELF!

Miroku: *runs back and stops, panting* she wasn't... Even... In there...

Kagome: That's because she's asleep on my bed... *points at said girl*

Miroku: well why didn't you tell me that sooner instead of making me go into that horrible store?!

Kagome: She just crawled in my window when you left...

Kagome: She just crawled in my window when you left...

-While Miroku was In the Sex Shop-

Kagome: Seriously, WHO THE HELL RUNS AWAY WHEN IM RANTING DOG DAMNIT!

Yash: How should I know?

Sango: *climbs in bedroom window, and passes out on bed*

Kag: *blinks* Found 'er...

Miroku: how did she crawl in WERE ON THE SIXTH FLOOR

Kag: Spider-demon-slayer powers?

Yash: Spider-slayer, spider-slayer! Does whatever a spider-slayer does!

Sango: *yawns and sits up* hey guys I just had the craziest dream

Kag: *pauses in strangling Yash* What was it?

Sango: I had lunch with Kuranosuke

Kagome: Why? I thought you called that guy kinda...well... Stalkerish...

Sango: well it was just a dream... And I'm kinda drunk ya know

Kagome: I had a dream where a laptop was screaming insults at me

Samgo: that's nice. Ima go get some more alkkahwole

Kagome: Some what? Are you still drunk?

Sango: nooo that's why I need alka-al-alcohol

Kagome: Ohh! You need booze!

Miroku: no one is getting any more booze. I've had enough!

Kagome: Swhat?! PWEALSSE WOKI!

Yash: Uhh... I'm just gonna...*disappears*

Miroku: alright fine; you two go do whatever you want but Sango isn't going anywhere! It's way too early in the day to be this drunk

Kag: Not forwwww mehhh

Kag: WAIT, WHERE'D YASHIE GO?!

Sango: aww come on Woki *commence giggling*

Miroku: no way! You can get drunk later on!

Kag: Sannie, we can get drunk together back home...

Kag: And if Roku doesn't mindddd shraring...

((Fire: OK! Let's skip that...

Panda: ((ok then...

-Roku and Sango stay in the hotel room and Kagz goes to find Yashie-

-With Kagz- Narrator: Kagome: i*s looking for her mate occasionally screaming 'INUYASHA IF YOU DONT COME OUT RIGHT NOW, KISS YOUR WIFE GOODBYE' or something*

Kagome: Seriously what happened to my black thong damnit?!

Yash: *is hiding with said thong, doing god knows what with it*

Kagome: Just you wait, if I find you Yashie and my thong, you'll be a dead poochie... *smiles dangerously*

Sango: *passed out on the bed*

Miroku: *on the other bed watching TV*

Sango: *rolls off the bed onto the floor*

Kagome: Yaashieee! Come on I won't hurt you... I just wanna play a game! It's called Kagome slices Yashie in half! *brings out a chainsaw or other lawn tool and smiles sadistically*

Sango: *suddenly stands up wide eyed* SHE CALLED HIM YASHIE! FINALLY!

Miroku: Sango please go back to sleep...

Sango: *jumps on Miroku's bed next to him* only if I can sleep with you Roku!

Kagome: COME ON SPOT I JUST WANNA PLAY FETCH! BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BRING THE THROWN ITEM BACK SILLY PUPPY!

Miroku: uhh... Sango I think you-

Sango: *is already asleep against his shoulder*

Kagome: Just ignore her, I drugged her Vodka so she would stop trying to steal my spotlight, also I was just tired of ruining all my vases on her head...

Miroku: Kagome I think I saw Yasha outside bathing in the fountain or something... and he had your thong!

Kagome: Ohhhhh Yashieeeeee! GET IN HERE YOU LITTLE MUTT! I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND FEED YOU YOUR OWN SWORD...AND I DONT MEAN THE FANG TETSUSAIGA!

Child: Mommy, why is the yelling lady naked?

Woman: INDECENCY!

Miroku: Kagz you're gonna wake Sango

Kagome: *grins savagely* Oh I found something that'll bring him home...

Miroku: *sigh* if Sango wakes up you know she'll kill you

Kagome: *presses a button, and a scream emits from ten miles away*

Sango: KAGOME IF YOU DONT SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I WILL STAB YOU AND YOUR YASHIE AND FEED YOU TO KIRARA BECAUSE CATS WILL EAT ANYTHING EVEN SHIT LIKE YOU

Miroku: Sango please calm down...

Yash: *stumbles in, growling, and had sparks flying off him* DAMNIT KAGOME THIS IS WORSE THAN A SIT

Kagome: *chucks another vase at Sango's head* Go to sleep then!

Sango: *blocks it* GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOTEL ROOM

Kagome: WE SHARE THE SAME FUCKING ROOM GOD DAMNIT I'M TAKING A FUCKING SHOWER IF ONE MORE PERSON SPEAKS I WILL SHOVE A KNIFE THROUGH YOUR EYE AND MAKE IT COME OUT YOUR DICK! *slams bathroom door loudly, and can be heard growling every cuss word in the dictionary and a few new ones as well*

Sango: IF YOURE GONNA KEEP YELLING LIKE THAT THEN ID RATHER SHARE A ROOM WITH MIROKU AT LEAST HES TRYIN TO LET ME SLEEP

-Two Hours Later-

Yash: Where's Kagome?

Miroku: Didn't she take a shower?

Yash: Yeah but it doesn't take two fucking hours to shower, she ain't a ogre...

Sango: maybe she's bent over a table somewhere *shrugs*

Miroku: Sango please stop drinking...

Yash: *breaks lock on door, and sees a note on the toilet seat, and the bathroom window is open*

Yash: Look at this, ' To my mate, my perverted almost brother, and pissy sister, FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'M DONE DAMNIT, FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SCREAM AT, AND GO SHOVE THIS DILDO UP YOUR ASSES, or in Sango's case, UP YOUR PUSSY! I'm a Lone Ranger now, so fuck you all!

Sango: wow she really is drunk

Miroku: should we be worried about this..?

Yash: ' Adios mother fuckers! Hate, Kagome

Sango: you should go find her Yashie; our plane leaves tomorrow morning

Yash: THAT'S ALL YOU'RE FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT?!

Sango: plus she's the only one willing to fuck you

Yash: YOUR ESSENTIAL SISTER JUST WENT ROGUE DAMNIT AND WE HAVE NO TRACE! We need Rin!

Rin: Someone call?

Sango: IF YOU BRING RIN TO VEGAS I- oh hi Rin...

Fluffy: Why am I even here...?

Yash: She's the only source we have! Rin, where would Kagome go if she went rogue?

Rin: Somewhere with alcohol, candy, and probably naked dudes...

Sango: so... the casino

Rin: It could be ANY casino

Sango: damn; we'd better split up... ILL GO WITH ROKY!

Miroku: if this is some tactic to try and fuck me then it isn't gonna work as long as you're drunk

Rin: Really this again? Now I REALLY need to know what **** means!

Miroku: yeah I agree we should probably split up but in groups so no one gets lost... I'll go with Sango and the three of you go together

Sango: YAY!

Miroku: IM NOT GONNA SLEEP WITH YOU [TONIGHT]

Rin: I'll go with Yashie and Fluffy

-everyone split up-

-Three Hours Later- Kagome: Yeah! Keep it coming!

Narrator: The men around her groaned and removed their pants leaving them in their underwear. Currently, Kagome was kicking major ass in a game of poker.

Sango and Miroku: *in some random casino with Sango dragging Miroku around to a point were he can barely keep up*

Kagome: I BEAT YOUR SORRY ASSES FAIR AND SQUARE SO COUGH IT OVER!

Kagome: I BEAT YOUR SORRY ASSES FAIR AND SQUARE SO COUGH IT OVER!

Men: *grudginly hand her $20,000 and three stacks of alcohol*

Inuyasha: Kagome is that you?!

Kagome: Hmm? Thought I heard a dog barking... Oh well, they'll get the point I don't wanna play...

Inuyasha: *runs up to her* Kagome what the hell are you doing?!

Kagome: Stupid flies... I'm not a peice of rotting flesh...

Sango: ROKU LOOK WE CAN GET A FREE HOTEL ROOM IF WE GET MARRIED

Miroku: what the hell are you talking about?!

Kagome: The loud bitch is tellin the truth

Miroku: Kagome is that you?!

Sango: Rokuuuu I wanna get married!

Kagome: Here *hands Sango a real long white dress and chucks a suit at Roku* Get married bitches, and get me a room will ya? I'm trashed

Miroku: guys we have a room at the other casino already!

Kagome: I dun give a flying fuck you perverted older brother, GET FUCKING MARRIED BEFORE I FUCKING GO ROGUE AGAIN

Miroku: *sigh* I'll get some rooms...

Sango: YAY! *throws confetti everywhere*

Inuyasha: wait where are Rin and Sesshomaru..?

Rin: ALRIGHT COUGH EM OVER BITCHES!

Sesshomaru: Rin why are you playing poker?

Rin: CAUSE I CAN DAMNIT

Miroku: *comes back with Sango clinging to him* I got us two rooms... I'm gonna try and get Sango to go to sleep

Kagome: try this... *hands him a bottle filled with purple liquid*

Miroku: I don't think I can trust you when you're drunk...

Sango: *chugs the liquid and nothing happens*

...

AWKWARD PAUSE

UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE

GRANDPA ATE A WALLET

GRANDMA ATE A WALLET

Miroku: you just got her more drunk!

Kagone: *looks at bottle* Shit... Whoops sorry Roky-Myster... I had the wrong bottle... *chucks a different bottle with red liquid at Sango's head and she passes out*

Miroku: *picks her up bridal style* well I'm taking her upstairs

Kagome: Good luck, by the way, when she wakes up, she'll think she's an army general and you're a rookie she has to train for combat...

Miroku: great... *leaves before anything else can happen*

Kagome: SORRY ROKU

Kagome:... Well now I wanna go home...

Inuyasha: the plane doesn't leave until tomorrow

Kagome: *growls* Rin, the laptop please?

Rin: Here

Kags: Thanks. *hits random buttons and it starts raining candy chocolate anime, an anvil, a TV, a curling iron,

-sometime later-

Kagome: Sango? I made you guys a congrats breakfast...

Sango: congrats for what?! It's like midnight Kagome

Kagome: *cocks head to side* Don't you remember? Jeez I'd think that you'd remember your own-mfmhnmfnhmfm! *Miroku had his hand clasped firmly over her mouth*

Kagome: *glares.* mfmhnmfnhmfm mhmfm mhmfm h f mmhmgmgmhngnfn!

Sango: what?!

Miroku: I think Kagome is still drunk...

Sango: if you don't move your hand she will bite you and you will not like it

Kagome: *bites hand*

Miroku: ow! I forgot you were half dog...

Kagome: Fucking asshole

Sango: so what are you talking about? What happened that I don't remember?

Kagome: I just wanna fucking forget what happened here! Well... Except for my kick ass poker skills... *grins and displays Vodka and her money*

Sango: Miroku tell me what happened or I will never fuck you. EVER

Miroku: I can't tell you!

Kagome: OH MY GOD! YOU MARRIED HIM AND ALSO GOT US A FREE FUCKING ROOM, NOW SHUT UP

Sango: WHAT did I do?! WE GOT MARRIED?!

Miroku: well- it- no, I- it was your idea!

Kagome: Sango blame it on me, I got you drunk and I honestly just don't fucking care anymore

Miroku: Kagome practically forced on us a wedding dress and a tux and-

Sango: A WEDDING DRESS?! Well what does it look like; SHOW ME!

Kagome: You're still wearing it

Sango: *looks down* OMIGOD IM GORGEOUS! MIROKU LOOK AT ME IM A FUCKING GODDESS

Miroku: *mutters* yeah I noticed that about twenty years ago...

Kagome: Dude, it was three years ago...

Miroku: well she's the girl of my dreams

Sango: Wait a second; we only got married, right? We didn't do anything else?

Miroku: no you passed out afterwards... That's why you're still in your dress...

Kagome: An I was hoping for little pervs hefting a huge ass boomerang with an 'I will kill you' aura

Sango: Well yeah I'm upset BUT HOW CAN I BE UPSET?! I mean who else was I supposed to marry; Kuranosuke?

Kagome: Well didn't he propose to you once?

Sango: he did? I can't remember anything right now it's like midnight...

Kagome: Yeah he did, and you slammed the door in his snotty nosed face...

Miroku: when did Kuranosuke propose to you?!

Sango: ... LOOK AT THIS DRESS !

Kagome: I had broken in your house to eat some of the chocolate cake you had and I heard it...

Kagome: Two and a half years ago... He once spilled hot tea on himself

Miroku: why didn't I know about this?!

Sango: Dude I had just met you

Kagome: In her defense I called him a stalker and chucked a hammer at his face... He knew her back when she was ten...

Miroku: geez you've known him a lot longer than me...

Sango: are you seriously getting jealous?! We just got MARRIED. MARRIED. THATS, LIKE, FOREVER. AND IM NOT EVEN MAD AT YOU!

Kagome: I'm getting you marriage counseling... And Mating counseling for Yash and I

Sango: WE DONT NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELING!

Miroku: what I-

Sango: *knocks him over and starts making out with him on the floor*

Kagome: And I'm called a closet masochist...

Sango: Miroku I think I need to puke...

Kag: Please, you had been begging Roku to fuck you, and first you wanted to do it on the bathroom floor!

Sango: *runs to the bathroom*

Miroku: well this was one hell of a trip...

Kag: You said it...

Sango: *comes back* I'm gonna go back to sleep; we can fuck in the morning

Kag: Let's never spea-*eyes go wide and she runs to the bathroom* CRAP MY HANGOVER CAUGHT UP WITH ME ALREADY

Miroku: what have a married into...

-in the actual morning-

Kag: *groans as Inuyasha presses a ice pack to her head*

Sango: *wont take off her wedding dress*

Miroku: so you want us to screw, but you refuse to take your clothes off?

Sango: it's just so pretty!

Kag: How about I take a picture of you in your dress then when we get back home you can bang the shit out of your new husband... *groans again* Owwwwww

Sango: I'm not drunk anymore and I don't appreciate your bluntness

Kagome: Sorry, I'll let you two be intimate after we get home, but stil first lemme get a picture in your pretty dress

Sango: are you telling me you didn't get any pictures of the actual wedding?!)!?

Kag: I WAS BUSY! *groans again* Owwwwwwww

Sango: well what were you doing?! Isn't my wedding day more important?!

Kag: Well... Technically I threw a bottle at you that should have made you sleep but I had the wrong one and it made you even drunker, so I threw another bottle but that was the right one and a lot of shit happened I dun wanna talk about it PLEASE! Owe

Sango: how do you remember weren't you drunk too?!

Kag: I've sort of grown a tolerance to booze

Kag: Fine wine however, is a different story

Miroku: then why the hell were you so dumb last night?!

Kag: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY PERVY PANTS?! *pauses for a minute* OWWWWWWWWWWWWW Yasha will you be a dear and get me A. Some Advil and B. lemme go back to sleep?

Sango: *takes like 500000 selfies in her dress*

Miroku: guys we have a plane to catch...

Kag: Oh yeah... *all packed up* LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, TOO MANY WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN HERE...

Miroku: wait where are Sesshomaru and Rin?!

Kagome: They already flew back to Fluffy's castle... Rin was screaming she would kill Jaken with my curling iron...

Miroku: well I guess we shouldn't worry about them. Except Jaken. But no one worries about Jaken...

Kagome: Like Naraku? I mean confused transvestite spider monkey who likes to steal other people's pizza

Sango: he's dead remember?! You left him in a heap on my bedroom floor!

Kag: I thought we swept him under the bed to be consumed by four year olds later...

Miroku: Sango I don't think that dress will be very comfortable on the plane...

Sango: I don't have any fucking clothes remember? All I have are Kagome's really small shorts and your purple hoodie!

Kag: Well I could have Rin import some clothes...

Sango: I'm ok I'll just wear this dress !

Kag: Why? Rin's a great seamstress

Miroku: guys the plane leaves in an hour. And Sango everyone is gonna think you're in drag. Please just put something on

Sango: gimme your sweatshirt

Miroku: *sigh* fine...

-after the plane ride-

Kagome: FINALLY! We're back bitches!

Sango: oh great now you all can trash my house all the time again

Yash: Umm... I'm gonna go in my tree... *jumps twenty feet into a high tree*

Sango: *opens the door to find a 17-year-old Shippo kissing Kirara* WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

-TBC-


	33. Pure Genius

Crazy Girls

Chapter 33: Pure Genius

Kagome: SHIPPO THAT WOMAN IS TOO OLD FOR YOU, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

Kirara: I'm only like a hundred!

Kagome: I'D CALL THAT ROBBING THE FUCKING CRADLE WOULDN'T YOU?!

Kirara: YOU CANT KEEP US APART!

Shippo: wait why are you yelling I'm confused

Sango: HES TOO YOUNG

Kagome: SHIPPO!

Shippo: what?

Kagome: Do you want some cookies?

Sango: Damnit Kagome you're a horrible parent. I mean look how I turned out!

Miroku: not this again

Yasha: Here we go, ya did it now Sango

Kagome: *sobbing in a dark corner, eating chocolate and listening to sad music* Am...Am I really that bad of a mother...?

Yasha: *suddenly back in his recliner with a beer opened and a TV in front of him again* No dear, you're a wonderful mother, our friends are just insensitive idiots

Sango: no don't cry; if you were a horrible mother I probably would never have gotten married!

Kirara: you did what now

Kagome: I tricked her into getting married... One she was drunk, and two, I accidentally checked us out of the hotel we had booked and at this casino/hotel for every couple that gets married gets two free rooms

Sango: wait so the only reason I got married was because you didn't wanna pay for more rooms?

Kag: No I could tell you were in LOOVVEE with Roky here, and vise-versa, so I made you get married...

Yasha: It wasn't too hard

Kag: How would YOUknow? You were trying to climb a TV calling it a large bean stalk to the golden egg or whatever

Sango: I cannot BELIEVE you Kagome. I'm leaving! Come on, Miroku lets go have sex

Miroku: say what now?

Kag: Oh you also were very blunt. You kept begging Roku to fuck you

Kag: Too bad I couldn't do anything

*Sango and Miroku go upstairs to pretend to fuck but actually end up playing cards or some shit however no one else knows this and there won't be much info on them for a while because I've been too focused on them*

Kag: How rude... I WAS FUCKING TALKING YOU KNOW YOU RUDE IMMATURE SKANK ASS SHIT-LICKERS

Kirara: let's focus on why Jaken decided to take up residence in the garage

Kag: *suddenly not feeling murderous* I thought he disappeared like two weeks ago

Yash: No cause I kicked him for gettin in my way and that was a week ago

Kirara: DONT TELL RIN THATS WHY HES HERE

Yash: DONT SAY HER NAME OR SHE'LL APPEAR!

Rin: WHY THE **** DO I KEEP GETTING CALLED HERE IF I CAN'T ****ING MURDER ANYONE GOD DAMNIT

Kirara: because we like to say nice things about you behind your back...?

Kag: IT'S LIKE ME WITH MY WHISTLING *whistles and the two wolves run in this time fully dressed*

Koga: I swear I need to get a lock for my dick...

Kirara: what does that even mean?

Koga: It means Ayame keeps hiding it from me... *grins suggestively*

Kirara: Kagome please never whistle ever again

Kag: *whistling The Smurfs tune to herself and looks up at you curiously* Huh?

-A While Later-

Kagome: Shippo, how come you said 'fucking savage' a while ago? I thought I told you no cussing until you were seven hundred

Shippo: well I've been spending some time on the Internet

Kagome: I'm getting you a tablet

Kagome: *thinking to herself* It's a parental guidance tablet though, so, HA

((Oh btw Kirara and Shippo are both still in teenage human form

Kagome: Now if you'll excuse me, your father and I need to get drunk off our asses

Kirara: *walks in* ooh that sounds exciting; can I come?

Yasha: *pulls out Vodka and starts chugging it*

Kag: Sure I guess... Sango and Miroku can take care of da fox kit

Kirara: but they're upstairs pretending to fuck

Shippo: still? It's been three hours

Kagome: TAXI! HERE TAXI TAXI TAXI! *whistles*

Taxi: *pulls up immediately*

Kag: Too late now, I'll tape a note on the window

Kag: *outside slapping a note on the window*

Miroku: *falls down the stairs and lands on his face*

Kag: Let's just go

Yashie: *is gone*

Kag and Kirara: *leave*

Sango: ROKU LETS DO IT ON THE COUCH

Miroku: OK wait no we can't...

Sango: why not?

Miroku: because Inuyasha is hiding behind the curtain

Sango: damnit...

Kag: *from somewhere mysterious* YASHIE GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE THEY SCAR YOUR EYES FOREVER

Yashie: I DONT WANNA GO BACK TO JAIL! *runs out of the place like he being chased by a giant spider (oh wait naraku isn't that threatening and is dead anyways)*

Sango: oh thank god he's gone... Now let's bake some cookies

Miroku: *disappointed voice* I thought we were gonna do it on the couch

Sango: yeah but now I want cookies... Hey let's make out while we bake cookies!

Miroku: ok!

-meanwhile-

Kirara: OMG OMG LOOK AT THAT CUTE GUY OVER THERE I WANNA HIT THAT SO BAD

Kag: REAL SUBTLE KIRARA

Kag: *silently walks up behind him and whacks him unconscious*

Kirara: WHAT THE HELL

Kag: Hey I said I would help a friend get a man, even if it involved kidnapping

Kirara: you never said that and I'm not letting you kidnap anyone for me

Kag: SCREW YOU THEN * leaves with Yashie*

Kirara: *sigh* *tries to wake up the guy and apologize*

((We'll see how that goes...

Kirara: Excuse me

Guy: G-Get away from me

Kirara: no I just wanted to apologize because my friend who just ran away knocked you unconscious because she thought it was helping me somehow and I yelled at her until she left

Guy: Oh...well I'm kinda into that thing

Kirara: excuse me..?

Guy: She's taken ain't she

Kirara: my friend? Yeah she's having extreme sex with a half dog demon probably right now

Kag: Kirara if you don't shut up right now I swear to god I'll shove a pitch fork down your throat

Kirara: sorryyy I'll just find a new guy to hit on...

Kag: Good girl, by the way guy? There's a BDSM store just arund the corner

Kirara: I don't know what that is and I don't care to

Kag: Good, cause I don't wanna explain

Kagome: *singing* I GOT A HANGOVER, I BEEN DRINKIN TOO MUCH FOR SURE!

Yashie: Someone kill me now

Rin: CAN I?!

Sesshomaru: Rin?

Rin: Yes Lord Sesshomaru?

Sesshy: Go to bed

Rin: NEVER! *lets out war cry and attacks Jaken with chainsaw*

Sango: *sings* DONT GO BREAKIN MY HEART

Miroku: sango? I won't don't worry

Sango: YOU STUPID HOUSHI YOURE SUPPOSED TO SING WHY DID I MARRY YOU

Sango: DONT STOP ME NOW! *dances while doing guitar solo*

Miroku: sango are we gonna bake cookies or frickle frackle I don't have time for this I have a meeting in a half hour

Sango: you have a JOB?

Miroku: pffffft yeah maybe

Sango: maybe this marriage could work after all ;-)

Miroku: how the fuck did you just do a winkie face in dialogue?

Sango: WAIT do you have to wear a suit? Or like something nice looking AT ALL? I wanna see!

Miroku: pfffffffffffffft yeah

Sango: OMG PUT IT ON I WANNA SEEEEEEEEEE

Miroku: pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft yeah ok *runs upstairs*

Kagome: THIS LITTLE GIRL IS CAPABLE OF MURDER!

Kagome: HEY MISS MURDER CAN I

Yashie: STOP! *pulling silver hair out in frustration*

Kagome: YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND PURE GENIUS!

Yashie: I am this close to taking the microphone

*Kagome: That's it! *grabs something from a bag, and pulls Yashie into a bathroom then locks the door*

Yashie: Kagome what are you-Hey! Get that away from me! NOOO-KYAAAAA!

Kagome: *walks out wearing a smirk*

Yashie: *walks out wearing a tailored suit, looking all professional and shit* Good day to you ladies and gentlemen

Sesshy: What did you do to him?

Kagome: He's got a dildo shoved up his ass now

Kagome: Hang on. *grabs phone and types something on it* C'mon pick up...

Sango: *sits on the couch and waits then abruptly stands up* somebody has a dildo up their ass right now I can feel it... What the fuck

sango: *phone is ringing* ohhhhh. *picks up* I KNEW it was you!

Panda: ((By the way I meant that she could sense that somebody had a dildo up their ass NOT that she felt as if a dildo was up HER ass

Kagome: Hey Sango! I shoved a dildo up Yashie's asshole cause he pissed me off and now he's all proper and shit

Kagome: He walked out of the bathroom in a tailored suit, looking all professional and stuff, and he said ' Good day ladies and gentlemen'

Kagome: Besides his totally legit business which I have no idea about, yeah

Kagome: Wait shit I wasn't supposed to say anything... I NEED A WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM ORDER NOW! HELP ME

Sango: yeah that's great DID YOU KNOW THAT MIROKU HAD A JOB?

Miroku: *walks downstairs looking all professional and shit*

Sango: gotta go...

Kagome: *wailing then stops* Okay bye see ya later! *continues to wail*

Sango: I have no words...

Miroku: *smirks and checks watch* FUCK I GOTTA GO *kisses sango on the cheek then leaves*

Sango: *drops to knees dramatically* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-Narrator: Now on the other side of town!-

Miroku was walking into a store with a cold expression. Miroku: Kansuke, where's my drugs. Kansuke: Mr. Houshi the X-Lax is in aisle four, and the condoms in aisle nine.

Miroku: Thanks my friend, now I won't have to punish you.

Kansuke: Just go him Mr. Houshi, you're on drugs

Rin: Hey Mr. Narrator guy, what's a condom?

Narrator: Ask Lord Sesshomaru

Rin: LORD SESSHOMARU WHAT'S A CONDOM

Sesshomaru: *chokes*

Panda:((So I wanna continue but like wtf Miroku can't be on actual drugs

Fire:((It's not really drugs, it's pixi sticks

Sango: *calls kagome* get over here im bored as hell

Kagome: RIN! I need transportation to Miroku's house, his kitchen please.

Rin: *types on laptop and suddenly Kagome is gone*

Sango: ITS NOT MIROKUS HOUSE ITS MY HOUSE

Kagome: Technically now it's both of yous house

Sango: yeah but his name isn't on the lease... Oh god are we gonna be sleeping in the same bed now?

Kagome: THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MARRIED...BESIDES FUCKING!

Sango: WELL WE HAVENT FUCKED YET MIND YOU

Kagome: HERE HAVE THIS! *throws box at you*

Sango: what's this?

Kagome: It's a picture of Yashie now that he has a dildo up his ass

Sango: where is he anyways?

Kagome: Where I was... Which was at apparently Hooters

Kagome: Wait... GET OUT OF THERE YOU GOD DAMN MUTT

Sango: where's kirara?

Kagome: How should I know

Sango: WE CANT BE MISSING KIRARA AND SHIPPO AT THE SAME TIME!

Kagome: Wait... My Shippo senses are tingling

Kagome: He's in the tree next to your bedroom window

Sango: *puts whole heads outside bedroom window* KAGOME SHIPPO AND KIRARA ARE KISSING IN A TREE

Kagome: WHAT! SHIPPO YOUR GROUNDED

Panda:((You're supposed to say k-i-s-s-i-n-g

Shippo: *pulls back from kissing* FUCK YOU MOMMY

Kagome: WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN?!

Sango: Kirara you're grounded too!

Kirara: *grumbles* fine, but as long as I'm still alive shippo will stay as a seventeen year old

Kagome: YOU STUPID NEKO BITCH FUCKING FUCK YOU STRAIGHT UP THE ASSHOLE!

Panda:((I had a really dirty response to that but I decided not to use it

Shippo: *starts crying* IM JUST A KID AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE

Kirara: *falls through a random trap door in the floor*

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	34. KFC?

Crazy Girls

Chapter 34: KFC?

Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN ANY OF THIS EXCEPT FOR LIKE ANY OF THE DIALOGUE AND EVERYONE IS EXTREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER BUT WE DONT OWN MCDONALDS OR KFC OR TOMOE OR LIKE ANYTHING

-previously-

Kirara: *grumbles* fine, but as long as I'm still alive shippo will stay as a seventeen year old

Kagome: YOU STUPID NEKO BITCH FUCKING FUCK YOU STRAIGHT UP THE ASSHOLE!

Kirara: *falls through a random trap door in the floor*

Sango: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

-currently-

Kagome: Oh yeah I set that for Kuranosuke should he ever break in

Sango: you should be more worried about Tomoe than Kuranosuke... We were so...hot...

Kirara: HELP ME!

Sango: KAGOME GET HER OUT OF THERE NOW OK SHE IS MY CHILD PLEASE HELP HER

Kagome: *drops swing down* JUMP ON THIS KIRARA! DON'T GO FOR THE LIGHT!

Shippo: *managed to get inside the house* Kirara are you ok?!

Kirara: that was...disturbing...

Kagome: Sorry, watch where you walk everybody...

Sango: any other booby-traps you should warn me about?

Shippo: HAHA YOU SAID BOOBY!

Kagome: The swinging axe in the backyard, a fire-pit in the kitchen, shark pit in the toilet... *counts fingers* Yup that's it

Sango: *initiate sarcasm* great. I'll tell Miroku. Where is he, anyways?

*a scream echoes through the house*

Kagome: I think he found the shark-pit

Sango: DAMNIT IT KAGOME!

Kagome: I'M SORRY

Sango: *races downstairs* WHICH BATHROOM IS IT?!

Kagome: The one near your bedroom..

Sango: *races back upstairs* ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Miroku: *is dangling from the edge of the hole* SANGO HELP

Sango: *mutters* how the fuck do you fit a shark tank in a toilet

Kirara: shippo we're alone!

Shippo: Let's go to mcdonalds and make out!

Kirara: mkay! *they fly away*

Yashie: *walks in with business clothes torn, and a bump on his head* Madame, there seems to be a giant axe in this backyard

Kagome: SEE I TOLD YOU HE WAS ALL PROPER AND SHIT

Sango: *finally pulls Miroku out of the toilet*

Panda:((I never thought I would ever write that. Ever.

Miroku: *tries to hug sango*

Sango: please go take a shower...those clothes are sexy as hell, but... Take a shower

Miroku: right... Because of SOMEBODY, I was in the toilet! *strips*

Sango: WAIT UNTIL WERE ALL OUT OF THE ROOM GEEZ

*everyone leaves and Miroku fucking takes a shower*

Kagome: Hehehehehehehehe I can only guess what he's doing now that he's alone

Sango: Kagome please leave my house dear god

Yashie: I do believe the young fellow could be spanking the monkey

Sango: LEAVE! NOW!

Kagome: FUCK YOU! *grabs Yashie then poofs out in red smoke*

Sango: *is alone for the most part* what the fuck do I do now

Miroku: *is dripping wet and wearing only a towel* Where'd everyone go, my love? *wraps arms around you*

Sango: *flinches and on instinct punches Miroku in the face* OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY

Miroku: No it's okay, I'm used to it by now

Sango: go put some clothes on!

Miroku: Fine *gets dressed* Now what happened to the Hanyou an his psychopathic wife?

Sango: they left to go get shippo and kirara and stop them from kissing

Miroku: Ah I s-wait what?

Miroku: I thought Shippo was a child

Sango: *fills in the story* don't worry I'm sure she'll take care of it...

-Three Hours Later-

Kagome: *smirks while panting heavily* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOT SO TOUGH NOW ARE YA!

Shippo and Kirara: *tied up inside Mc. Donald's with anime tears pouring down their faces*

McDonald's owner: ma'am, could you please not have people tied up in here? This is supposed to be a family friendly place...

Kagome: Not like there isn't a giant figurine of your character guy with his hand raised... And a picture with this guy who has his arms up in front of the thing...

Owner: ma'am please

Kagome: Fuck you, let's all just get out of here, we can go get KFC

-back to sango's house where they've been watching tv for the past three hours-

Miroku: My Kagome and her group got kicked out of a restaurant senses are tingling...

Sango: same... Oh well; nothing new

Miroku: And I think they have just gone to KFC

Miroku: *dials up Kagome* Hey Kagome, get some food for Sango and I would you dear?

Kagome (over the phone): Whatever you stupid lecher. I'm buying whatever I buy so deal with it

Sango: *grabs the phone* could you at least get something for me?

Food: *magically appears*

Miroku: Hey there's chocolate cake in here!

Sango: what else is there?

Miroku: what the-this is an entire cooked chicken...

Kagome: Wait what? DAMNIT

Sango: looks like we'll be covered for dinner THANKS KAGOME *hangs up*

Kagome: *looks at phone* Fucking bitch hung up on me!

Yashie: *still proper* darling, will you kindly remove this obstruction from my anal cavity?

Kagome: *kicks him in the ass, shoving the dildo farther up*

Restaurant manager: *glares, confused yet angry yet intrigued all at the same time*

Kagome: Why are you intrigued? He's my husband, but he pissed me off so I shoved that up his hole

Manager: *blushes angrily and returns to the back of the restaurant*

Kagome: *smirks* I win

Kirara: are we here with you two for punishment or did you think this would be fun

Kagome: Well first it was punishment now it's just fun

Kirara: great...

Everyone: *magically transports out of KFC*

Panda:((Wait where did they go

Fire:((Everyone had been in KFC then I just made them leave...

Panda:((But where did they teleport to

Fire:((Mars? Jk, they went to Kaggie's penthouse place thingy bunny home shit lyisngvsic DECIEVING duckerienfhbdh

Panda: ((Ok fine but only kag, yashie, Kirara, and shippo were in kfc so just them?

Fire:((Yup

Kirara: what the fuck is going on Kagome; I wanna go home!

Kagome: THEN GO

Kagome: I STILL NEED TO FUCK YASHIE IN THIS CHAPTER

Shippo: FUCK THAT CAN I LEAVE TOO

Kagome: YOU ARE GROUNDED YOUNG MAN

-Kirara flies away magically while shippo goes to his room and drowns out everything with music-

Kagome: I really MUST be a bad mother... *sulks in a very dark corner*

Yashie: come on dear; our son is just going through a phase *still all proper n shit*

Shippo: *yelling from the other room* ITS NOT A PHASE ITS THE TRUE ME! *turns up some song from high school musical and slams the door*

Kagome: But-but he is... Hang on... Something's wrong here... *looks around suspiciously*

Kagome: I know! *pulls Yashie into bathroom and locks door again*

Yashie: *comes out a minute later looking flustered and pissed off* Jesus Christ I hope I never have to do that again..

Kagome: Now everything is okay... *starts to bawl again*


	35. IM LEAVIN' BISH

Crazy Girls

Chapter 35: IM LEAVIN' BISH!

Miroku: *bursts in the room and starts singing* Hey baby girl whatcha doin tonight, I wanna see whatcha got in store!

Sango: *punches Miroku square in the face* sorry... There was a mosquito -.-

Kagome: Did he steal my stash? *goes wide-eyed and runs to her bedroom* Where the hell is it?! *screams* DAMNIT HE DID STEAL MY STASH!

Sango: I'm afraid to ask but what stash

Kagome: MY CANDY STASH GOD DAMNIT! I HAVE COOKIE WITH A SUPER HIGH SUGAR CONCENTRATION THAT CAN EVEN GIVE A DEMON A SUGAR HIGH AND THEY'RE FUCKING GONE! PREPARE TO DIE MONK!

Sango: Kagome he's already unconscious we can just look for your stash by going through his stuff

Kagome: I found another Playboy magazine with your face taped into the models' faces... And something about the mafia... He said was getting a drug shipment from this Kansuke person, but all it said was X-Lax and condoms

Sango: oh I've seen all that before; I'll just give him a good... talking to...

Yashie: Oh yeah. He definitely stole your stash, babe...

Kagome: Like I didn't know that already... Stupid dog...

Ayame: *still fully clothed and poking the unconscious Miroku with a stick*

Sango: Ayame how did you get in my house

Ayame: The trap door

Sango: which one..?

Ayame: The one near the fridge..

Kagome: DAMNIT I FORGOT THERE'S A CAKE IN THAT FRIDGE! *runs out of the room*

House: *crash!*

Ayame: What was that?

Sango: *sigh* probably my soul trying to escape

Kagome: I'M OKAY! FORGOT ABOUT THE TRAP DOOR! BUT I GOT THE CAKE!

Yashie: My wife is on drugs... *deadpan*

Kagome: SHUT UP PUPPY! DO YOU WANT THE DILDO AGAIN?!

Sango: ALRIGHT THATS IT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE IVE HAD ENOUGH

Kagome: Do I have to leave too?

Sango: Miroku can stay cuz he's unconscious

Kagome: *puppy ears droop and she drags everyone besides the knocked out monk out of Sango's house*

Sango: you can come back tomorrow but not rn k?

Sango: *lies down on the bed facing the ceiling with hands behind her head*

Narrator: At Kagome's Penthouse!

Kagome: *walks on hardwood floor then it gives out* Hey what's-KYA!

Shippo: What was that..?

Kirara: No clue *snuggles closer to Shippo's still seventeen year old body*

Kag: FUCK! I FELL DOWN A RABBIT HOLE! But there's no rabbit!

Yashie: *yells down the hole* you okay sweetie?

Kag: DO I SOUND OKAY?!

Shippo: Do the Life-Alert thing!

Kag: Bastard.. Fine.. HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP!

Miroku: *springs up* My somebody has fallen down a hole senses are burning!

Sango: umm...what

Miroku: It's Kagome. She fell down a hole in her penthouse.. Why the hell was a hole inside her place?

Sango: why are there so many holes here? Nobody knows

Panda: ((Fyi if you wanna make a joke about holes this is the time

Miroku: What kind of holes my dear?

Sango: deep ones... They aren't even supposed to be here! *totally oblivious to the joke*

Miroku: *deciding to have fun with her for a bit* Really *pretending to be surprised* How deep?

Sango: deep enough for people to get stuck in them all the time

Sango's phone: *rings*

Sango: *answers it* what do you want

Kagome: Don't fall for it! He's using a dirty joke trick! He's fucking with your mind!

Sango: *blushes* how did you know? *glares at Miroku*

Kagome: Baby monitor! Wait a minute, I've had my phone this whole time and I never called for help?!

Kagome: IVE BEEN STUCK IN A RABBIT HOLE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES NOW!

Sango: wait why do you have a baby monitor in my bedroom?!

Kagome: No reason~!

Sango: if you want help you've gotta tell me first

Kag: Fine.. I placed it when I was drunk.. I guess I though I was your mother again, so I wanted to make sure you were being a good girl..

Kag: Hey chocolate! *puts chocolate in her mouth* Wait this tastes like dirt... And no I'm not lying.

Yashie: My wife ate dirt..

Shippo: WELL NOW SHE HAS A REAL DIRTY MOUTH!

Sango: *sigh* I'm coming to get you but don't eat anymore dirt *hangs up*

Kag: *spits out the dirt* Man I hate life...

Sango: *arrives at the penthouse leaving Miroku alone in her house* what the fuck Kagome how is there even dirt in your penthouse if you're not at ground level?!

Kagome: *out of the hole* So now that that's over... Yashie wanna do it on the moon?

Yashie: Wouldn't we die? Ya know from no air?

Sango: yeah umm can I leave now?

Kag: *pouts* yeah you can go

Sango: *gets home*eyes go wide* MIROKU WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE ROSE PETALS ALL OVER MY FLOOR I JUST VACUUMED

Miroku: LET'S CONCUMATE OUR MARRIAGE DARLING!

Sango: where the fuck are you anyways...? *follows a trail of petals upstairs cautiously*

Miroku: In your room darling

Miroku: *wearing a santini, complete with the hat* Hi love

Baby monitor: *catching everything from secret location*

Sango: *covers eyes* WHAT THE FUCK

Miroku: Do you not like it? The clerk at the store said it would excite my lover.

Sango: Miroku if you wanted to have sex with me you could just ask! Have you ever thought of that?

Miroku: I wanted to be one of those 'rambunctious' lovers

Sango: oh trust me you are

Miroku: *springs up* REALLY?!

Sango: okay can we just forget this happened because I would like to

Roku: Fine

Narrator: OVER AT KAGOME'S PENTHOUSE!

Yashie: Got any fives?

Kirara: Go fish, pup

Yashie: Damn..

Kag: Any threes?

Shippo: *groans and hands over two*

Narrator: Apparently Kagome's kick-ass poker skills also applied in Go Fish

Naraku: *pops up in the middle of the table shrouded by mist* HAI BISHES

Kag: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ROTTING UNDER THE BED TO LATER BE CONSUMED BY FOUR YEAR OLDS!

Naraku: Well now I'm not. WHO LIVES IN A PINAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?!

Shippo: SPONGEBOB SQUA- was I not supposed to respond to that

Yashie: *slaps ducktaped on Shippo's mouth* I thought I told you to zip it!

Kirara: *whispers to shippo* don't worry; that duct tape could come in handy later

Kagome: STATUTORY RAPE!

Shippo: Kagome I'm like fifty even though my real body looks about five and my body now looks 17

Kag: UNDERAGE!

Shippo: FIFTY IS NOT UNDERAGE

Kag: IT IS IN MY BOOK

Kirara: how is he speaking if there's duct tape over his mouth

Shippo: *starts crying* YOULL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME MOM *goes to room and slams door*

Kag: I'm a bad mother... *in her special dark corner*

Kirara: Kagome are you tired of Shippo being 17 because I think I am...

Yashie: Yeah she and I both are, turn him back

Kirara: I mean this has been fun... The thing is I think I would have to change back too...

Kag: *out of her depression* Sango can still understand you

Kirara: well I was just thinking... I want to take a vacation. I can change Shippo back and stay in human form, I just wouldn't want to be around Shippo if I'm still human

Yashie: Do it. I feel like I'm in a midlife crisis

Kirara: alright fine! I'll change Shippo back and go somewhere by myself! Maybe I'll go to California, or New York City, or Paris!

Kag: Find a hot guy to screw

Kirara: thank you for saying that!

Kag: I mean...shit.. *depression mode on*

Kirara: I have to say goodbye to Sango...

Kag: *transports you to Sango's place using Rin's weird computer*

Kirara: SANGO IM LEAVING!

Miroku: By Buddha, Kirara, a little volume change would be nice

Sango: Kirara what do you mean you're leaving?

Kirara: I'm going to New York City! Also I've decided to change Shippo back to normal

Miroku: So he's not a teenage nightmare anymore?

Kirara: *shuts eyes really tight for like ten seconds then opens them* not anymore!

Miroku: at least the nightmare is over


	36. DO YOU WANNA BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Crazy Girls

Chapter 36: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Miroku: LET IT GO! LET IT GO, CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE~!

Sango: Miroku if you're gonna sing Frozen can you at least try not to make it sound sexual it sounds like you're hurting yourself seriously

Miroku: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN?!

Sango: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?!

Kagome: DO YOU WANNA HIDE A BODY?

Kagome: IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE IN ONE PIECE!

Kagome: We can hide it in the river!

Miroku: THIS GIRL IS ON FIREE~!

Shippo: *comes out of room back as a child rubbing eyes* wow that was the coolest dream! Can I have some candy Kagome?

Kag: You-you don't h-hate me?

Shippo: why would I hate you? I love you, Kagome!

Kagome: Well Kirara-*gets cut off by Yashie's hand over her mouth*

Yashie: Nevermind, she's been a bit...off today... And she fell down a rabbit hole

Kag: *picks up shotgun and glares at everyone* Touch my candy and you die

Sango: hey Miroku wanna watch a movie?

Miroku: how bout I take you out to dinner?

Sango: that might work...

Kag: There's this really weird restaurant that I went to once.. They said they wanted to show me how the food was made and when I went back something hit me in the head. When I woke up I was in Fiji with no money, and no panties...

Yashie: Do I even WANT to know

Sango: Yashie believe me YOU DONT

Miroku: we can go anywhere you want

Sango: can we... Go to a diner and get pancakes even though it's 7pm

Miroku: yeah okay sure

Sango: YAY!

MirSan: *leaves*

Kag: Well at least they didn't leave while I was ranting...

Yashie: *asleep watching the football channel*

Shippo: *drinking a smoothie*

-At The Diner-

Sango: *orders like five pancakes*

Miroku: *orders like 6 pancakes*

Sango: *orders another pancake*

Miroku: *orders another pancake*

Both: *keep ordering pancakes*

Sango: you know it really isn't a competition

Miroku: yeah you're right lets stop

Waiter: Sir, Ma'am, your pancakes are ready... *holding two plates stacked high with buttermilk pancakes...mm... Buttermilk pancakes...*

Sango: *looks at Miroku*

Miroku: *looks at Sango*

Both: *start fighting over who gets the syrup first*

Miroku: IT'S MINE!

Sango: I DESERVE IT MORE YOU KNOW THAT!

Miroku: SHARED CUSTODY!

Sango: EXCUSE YOU BUT ITS NAME IS PATRICIA! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS SHRILANCA FOR A CHILD?

Waiter and manager: Excuse me, this is a child friendly environment, and if you cannot end this inappropriate behavior then we'll be forced to ask you to leave

Sango: oh, right, I'm sorry... *kisses Miroku on the lips like a lot*

Miroku: *leans into it*

Sango: *yanks the syrup from his hands* HAHA I WIN! *pours syrup wildly*

Waiter: That was inappropriate as well

Sango: I do apologize for being the only couple in your restaurant at the time and therefore your only way to make money at this hour. We will try not to be too much of a bother from this moment on. Thank you for the food; it is well appreciated.

Waiter: *sighs and walks away* just don't start yelling again...

Miroku: YES GOOD SIR!

Miroku: I did that just to anger him for talking to you in a partially disrespectful manner

Sango: oh why thank you worthy gentlemen! I believe that this syrup shall be in your possession now

Miroku: Thank you lovely wife. *takes the syrup bottle, but doesn't notice half of it is gone*

Kagome: *somewhere else, shoots up* SOMEONE IS EATING PANCAKES I CAN FEEL IT!

Yashie: Kagome they actually said that they were going to eat pancakes

Kag: I know that stupid dog!

Yashie: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BEING SO PISSY?!

Kag: *goes into bathroom and comes out ten minutes later* Well shit...

Yashie: umm what?

Kag: *chucks a book at him*

Book: Stages of Pregnancy

Shippo: what's pregnancy?

Kag: *hands him identical book*

Yashie: HOLY FUCK

Kag: *calls Sango*

Sango: *answers* what now

Kag: Hey bitch, let's go shopping

Sango: Kagz I'm on a date rn

Kagome: Because I'm fucking pregnant now, and I'll need fucking baby clothes

Sango: OMG! *turns to Miroku* KAGOME'S PREGNANT!

Kagome: I couldn't care less if Miroku was inserting himself into you anally, you're going to help me get baby shit

Sango: Kagome you have nine whole months to get baby shit you don't have to do it now!

Kagome: Too late. *suddenly herself and the demon slayer are at a baby department store, Sango's shirt having syrup on it*

Sango: damnit! Just lemme call Miroku and apologize

Sango: *calls Miroku* I'm really sorry but Kagome just teleported me to some baby store! Can you take my leftover pancakes home?

Miroku: as you wish

Sango: Thanks! I'm so sorry!

Miroku: *looks at phone as the call ends* Kagome's are weird when with child. I'll add this to my notes at a later time...

Sango: Kagome we don't even know if it's a guy or girl how are we supposed to buy clothes?

Kagome: Get Yashie or Fluffy to sniff my itty bitty baby belly

Sango: they're not here

Kag: I want chocolate hot dogs

Sango: *sigh* I don't think they have those here

-short scene where Sesshy and Rin appear and Sesshy tells Kagome that it's a boy-

Kag and San: *search for green and blue crap for kids for hours*

Kag: Hey clerk lady, are there any chocolate hot dogs?!

Sango: Kagz it's like eleven o'clock can we please go home

Clerk: *hands hot dog covered in chocolate sauce over to pregnant woman* Here you are. Many mothers have cravings for this

Kag: Thanks *takes bite* And sure, here's the money for this stuff

Kag and San: *poof out if store once they pay the clerk and end up at Kagome's place*

Yashie: *still freaking out*

Sango: good luck with him I'm going home

Sango: *magically poofs into bedroom while Miroku is changing* FUCK *covers eyes(for the most part)*

Miroku: I didn't know you would return so suddenly. How did you return so fast

Sango: it was Kagome she had Rin's old laptop or something...she teleported me here

Miroku: I understand perfectly. Rin is...definitely a...unique person

Miroku: Be it because of her indescribable need to kill things, or her connection to her Lord Sesshomaru

Sango: why are you talking like that?

Miroku: I am not sure

*there is a knock at the door*

Sango: who could that be?

Miroku: *gets up to check* It better not be an axe murderer

Sango: *follows*

Miroku: *looks through the peephole* it's... Tomoe?

Sango: what?! *swings door open*

Miroku: you don't have to seem so enthusiastic...

*Outside the door is Kuranosuke*

Kuranosuke: HI SANGO!

Sango: Miroku you said it was Tomoe not Kuranosuke!

Kuranosuke: who is Tomoe?

Sango: *sigh* no one... What do you want?

Sango: Kuranosuke I'm married

Kuranosuke: You are?

Sango: umm yeah. Why else would Miroku be in my house at midnight

Kuranosuke: Knitting?

Miroku: I do enjoy a good knit...

Sango: yeah no goodbye Kuranosuke

Kuranosuke: *sadly* Bye

Sango: *closes the door* why would you tell me it's Tomoe if it wasn't?

Miroku: why did you open the door so quickly when you thought it was Tomoe?!

Sango: because I wanted to see what he wanted!

Miroku: why would you open the door for Tomoe but not Kuranosuke?!

Sango: because I actually liked Tomoe! And coming to my house in the middle of the night is not something that he would do!

Miroku: Alright fine

Sango: I'm going to bed

Miroku: I'll let you

Sango: are you coming?

Miroku: yeah

Sango: are you okay?

Miroku: yeah just tired

MirSan: *goes to bed*

-next day-

Kagome: I FUCKING HATE MORNING SICKNESS!

Shippo: ooh ooh what are you gonna name my new brother?!

Kagome: idk it's too early

Shippo: okay! What's for breakfast?

Kagome: *cheeks go puffed out* DON'T SAY BREAKFAST! *runs to bathroom*

Shippo: oh well I guess I'll go take a nap


	37. Miroku, You Fool

Crazy Girls

Chapter 37: Miroku, You Fool!

Narrator: Now two months later!-

Narrator: Ksgome is about two months pregnant and is not going easy on her mate!

Kagome: I swear to god if you speak I'll fucking kill you

Narrator: meanwhile Sango and Miroku are still living together and still haven't... You get the idea

Narrator(Fire): AND MIROKU HAS BLUE BALLS!

Narrator(Panda): WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Fire: ((IT MEANS SANGO ISN'T LETTING MIROKU GET DAT ASS!

Panda: ((It's only because Miroku can't keep it simple

Sango: Roku I'm worried about Kirara; she left two months ago and I haven't heard a word from her! And last night I had a dream that she became a stripper and is making like thousands of dollars every day

Fire: ((Hang on

Panda: ((To what?

Fire: ((Roku's dick

Panda: ((I CANT ITS TOO SMALL

Panda: ((jk it's probably bigger than my house bUT ANYWAYS

Miroku: Sango, love, I'm sure Kirara is fine. If you're so worried then call Kagome and tell her to contact Kirara

Sango: I don't think even Kagome could contact her though

Kagome: YOU DOUBT ME?! BITCH!

Sango: THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD TRACK HER DOWN IS SHE-WHO-CANNOT-BE-NAMED AND I DONT WANT HER TEARING UP MY HOUSE

Kagome: I INHERITED HER POWERS! *tree grows in Kagome's penthouse and she tears it to bits with a chainsaw*

Sango: the only way to 'inherit' her power would be by defeating her, and I KNOW you didn't do that

Miroku: Sango we should go out to dinner tonight

Sango: why? We've gone out to dinner every night for the past two months where do we even get our income?!

Kagome: He's a mob boss

Kagome: YOU WOULDN'T KILL A PREGNANT WOMAN WOULD YOU?!

Miroku: whatever are you talking about Kagome

Kagome: Your fucking drug shipment two months ago with this Kansuke dumbass

Miroku: how come I don't remember that...

Kagome: *grins* Don't know...

Sango: miroku's on drugs..?

Kagome: Nope. The red bottle

Kagome: Think back to the casinos in Vegas Roku

Miroku: what does that have to do with a drug shipment?

Kagome: ... *whispers into earpiece* I've been figured out. Mission abandoned. *jumps out a window*

Sango: Miroku, think. Didn't you get a bunch of money once two months ago? And you've been getting checks in the mail...

Miroku: I never thought of that

Sango: *sighs* as long as we have money...

Yashie: WHERE IS MY MATE YOU FUCKERS?!

Miroku: She thinks she's a secret agent and jumped out a window

*suddenly Sango's house is surrounded by noise*

Miroku: Did she call the cops?

Sango: *looks out the window* nope, it looks like there are about a million women outside with heart-eyes...?

Kagome: FUCK FUCK FUCK! MISSION FAIL! OPEN UP AGENT SANGO GIVE ME PROTECTION

Sango: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

Miroku: I can't be sure, but I think that maybe word got out that I was married...

Sango: _what_

Kagome: AHHH! DONT HURT A PREGNANT WOMAN! YASHIE HELP!

Yashie: GET THE FUCK OFF MY MATE!

Shippo: What? Should I join in?! FUCKING SAVAGE!

Sango: JUST TELEPORT INSIDE JEEZ

Kagome: *teleports*

Miroku: I think we're going to have to take a rain check on those dinner plans...

Kagome: NO SHIT

Sango: MIROKU WHY ARE ALL OF THESE WOMEN HERE?!

Miroku: umm... Heheh... O Oi

Kagome: BECAUSE HE GROPED THEM IN HIGH SCHOOL

Miroku: something like that

Sango: DID YOU ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH ALL OF THESE WOMEN

Miroku: not _all_ of them...

Sango: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO

Kagome: OH MY GOD! *runs outside* GO THE FUCK AWAY! ROKU'S TAKEN YOU FUCKIN HOES!

Kagome: OH MY GOD! *runs outside* GO THE FUCK AWAY! ROKU'S TAKEN YOU FUCKIN HOES!

Sango: KAGOME YOULL DIE OUT THERE!

Kagome: I'LL BLOW YOU ALL TO PLUTO YOU SLUTS!

Sango: *runs upstairs and opens a window* ATTENTION!

Kagome: *suddenly bawling her eyes out* SANGO CHAN!

Sango: what?!

Kagome: I CAN'T ST-STOP CRYING

Sango: *sigh* COME INSIDE

Kagome: *bolts up and ends up with her face in Sango's boobs*

Sango: *hugs Kagome and yells out the window* WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOURE ALL HERE?!

Girl: ROKY MY LOVE

Kag: HE'S NOT YOURS

Sango: shhh Kagome calm down *yells out window* MIROKU IS ACTUALLY MARRIED TO ME. YOU ALL NEED TO LEAVE

Kagome: YEAH SO YOU FUCKING WHORES CAN LEAVE!

Sango: shhhhhhhhhhhh

Kagome: Sango? Can we get chocolate covered hot dogs?

Sango: after the mob leaves, sweetie

Sango: YOU ALL NEED TO GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY BEFORE I CALL THE COPS

Miroku: *hiding in the bathroom*

Sango: Miroku get over here they'll only listen to you!

Miroku: *whimpers but complies* You all need to leave, I'm married.

Girl: you can't be married!

Miroku: *shows ring* Yea I am

Roku: To my lovely Sango

Sango: yeah, he's married to ME! *shows ring also*

Shippo: SO GET FUCKING LOST!

Kagome: SHIPPO!

Sango: *high-fives Shippo*

Kagome: DONT CONDONE HIS BEHAVIOR!

Girl: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE IT WITH EACH OTHER?

Kag: TWELVE TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF TWO WEEKS!

Girl: you're lying!

Kag: I DON'T CARE IF I'M PREGNANT ILL BEAT YOUR STUPID FUCKIN ASS!

Girl: you wanna go, fattie?!

Kag: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU FUCKIN SLUT?!

Inuyasha: *shows up wielding tetsusaiga* WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL MY WIFE?!

Kag: I'LL TEAR YOUR FUCKIN ASS UP TO HELL YOU STUPID BITCH I DATE YOU TO TRY ME YOU GOD DAMN BITCH!

Miroku: If any of you can't see, this man up here has a sword three times as big as any of you and he has no morals so I suggest that you all run...

Kag: AND YOU CALLED HIS MATE A FATTIE!

*various whispers from below*

Girl: we're not leaving!

Kag: GET THE FUCK OFF SANGO AND ROKU'S LAWN BEFORE I MAKE YASHIE TAKE A GIANT SHIT ON YOURS!

Sango: they're not even scared... What are we gonna do?!

Kag: *growls then pulls out flame thrower* I'LL BURN THEIR TITS AND HAIR TO SHIT!

Sango: WHAT DO THEY EVEN WANT FROM US?!

Kag: THEY WANT ROKU'S DICK! THEY ALL WANT ROKU'S DICK!

Sango: ROKU DO SOMETHING OR ILL... ILL DIVORCE YOU AND YOULL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM YOURSELF

Miroku: DONT LEAVE ME!

Mob: *starts chanting* DIVORCE! DIVORCE! DIVORCE! DIVORCE!

Miroku: *really uncharateristicly* GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!

Mob: *chanting* DICK! DICK! DICK! DICK!

Kag: I SWEAR TO GOD! *whistles* FLUFFY! HERE BOY! FLUUUUUFFFFFFFFYYYYYYYYYYY!

Sesshy: what woman

Kag: WE HAD A DEAL! AFTER I TOOK RINS WEIRD POWERS YOU SAID IN YOUR OWN WAY THAT YOU WERE GRATEFUL! TIME TO PAY UP!

Sesshy: *starts throwing lightning at the crowd*

Mob: *cheering*

Sesshy: *mumbles* ignorant females...

Sango: okay...trying something new... *full on make-out session with Miroku in the window*

Kag: WOOOT! GO SANGO!

Miroku: *gives Kagome a thumbs up still kissing Sango*

Sango: *stops and yells out the window* HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE FUCKERS

Girls: *fawning over Fluffy* HE'S MINE!

Kagura: NO HE'S MINE!

Rin: *appears in the sky* HANDS OFF BITCH

*cop cars surround the mob*

Sango: oh _now_ what?!

Kag: FUCK! *grabs Sango, Roku, and the rest of her fucked up posse then disappears*

Shippo: guys I called the police because of the mob

Kag: IM A FUGITIVE YA KNOW!

Sango: YOU SHOULDNT BE YELLING IT ALOUD THEN SHOULD YOU

Kag: WE'RE IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION! I CAN SCREAM ALL I FUCKING WANT!

Sango: TAKE US HOME! I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE BUT IM NOT A FUGITIVE

Kag: Fine. *Roku and Sango are back in their house but the fangirls and cops are gone*

Kag, Yashie, and everyone else: *at Kags' penthouse*

Miroku: it's like it never happened...

Sango: it definitely _happened_

Miroku: Sango why so mad...? O Oi

Door: *gets knocked on*

Sango: now who could that be...

Kirara: What the hell happened here?

Sango: KIRARA OMG!

Kirara: Yeah I finished traveling... And screwing guys..

Kirara: So anyways what the hell happened? It looks like Kagome got into a fight with some bitches, and Shippo called the police...

Sango: a mob of Miroku fan girls surrounded the house and we couldn't get them to leave

Kirara: Thought so. I knew the hot dogs covered in chocolate were Kagome's

Sango: so how was your vacation?!

Miroku: we should all go out to dinner to celebrate your return!

Sango: why are you obsessed with going to dinner?!

Kirara: vacation was fine.

Sango: that's all you have to say? Never mind I don't think I want to know...

Kirara: It's like Kagome's little trip to Fiji. It's not mentioned

Sango: okay then...

Miroku: OH LOOK ITS ALMOST DINNER TIME WE SHOULD GO OUT TO DINNER

Kirara: Monk raise your voice again and you won't have one

Miroku: but then I won't be able to scream when-

Sango: _can it_.

Kirara: Thank you Sango

Miroku: so anyways lets go out to dinner

Sango: Miroku calm down!

Kirara: I WILL tie him up if he says that one more time

Miroku: well I just thought we should celebrate Kirara's return! You can pick any place you want!

Sango: is there something you're not telling me because we've been going out to dinner every night

Miroku: Sango I assure you that there's nothing going on

Sango: I didn't ask what was going on, I asked if you weren't telling me something. Don't try to avoid my inquiries

Kirara: *whispers to herself* This is better than any soap opera

Miroku: there's nothing to tell

Sango: alright, then let's stay home

Miroku: *twitches*

Sango: is there a problem?

Miroku: no. None at all...

Kirara: Soo entertaining

Kagome: YASHIE IM HUNGRY!

Yashie: What am I supposed to do about it?

Kagome: *growls then shoves Yashie into a bathroom and locks the door*

Yashie: Hey get that the fu-KYAAAAA! *all goes silent

Yashie: *wals out proper and shit again* Could someone be so kind as to explain what happened here?

Kagome: Baby I'm getting a craving... Can we go to this one baby store? It has chocolate covered hot dogs.

Yashie: Of course dear.

Kag and Yashie: *disapear thanks to Rin's old laptop*

Miroku: Sango, can we please please please just go out to dinner tonight?! I promise I'll tell you what's going on afterwards!

Sango: so there is something going on?

Miroku: just do this one thing, pleeeeease?!

Kirara: GET HIM TO SHUT UP PLEASE!

Sango: FINE WE CAN GO OUT TO DINNER! gosh...

Miroku: allllrighty then

Kirara: THANK THE LORD! *teleports everyone to a fucking Pizza Hut*

Miroku: Pizza Hut? Really...?

Sango: Kirara gets to pick since we're celebrating her. Besides, there's nothing wrong with Pizza Hut...

Kirara: YEAH FUCK YOU MONK

Kirara: Oh my god I'm taking after Kagome

Sango: you'll have to be more careful

Kirara: Please hope there are no pitfalls or something.. I have a hunch that Kagome's gone here

Waitress: *comes over* can I take your order, Miroku?

Sango: wait a second, you're that girl who was leading that mob earlier!

Kirara: Do I need to call Lord Sesshomaru?

Kirara: Or Kagome? Or both?

Miroku: let's not start any conflict...

Waitress: Can I take your order?

Kirara: Yes, I'd like A NEW FUCKING WAITRESS !

Waitress: Can I take your order?

Kirara: Is that all you know how to say? Are you dumb?

Waitress: Can I take your order? *hand falls off, revealing robot insides*

Kagome: *from random place* I KNEW IT!

Kirara: Well this is...interesting...

Miroku: um, excuse me, someone, we need a new waitress ours isn't real

Manager: THAT STUPID SLACKER MADE A ROBOT COPY SO SHE COULD GO MAKE OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND!

Manager: I'm sorry for the inconvience everyone

Sango: *sigh* could we just get some normal service please?

Manager: Certainly ma'am. *grabs waitress* Take their orders will you Satsuki?

Satsuki: oh ok! Can I take your order?

Everyone: *looks at eachother*

Kirara: I CALL DOUBLE CHEESE!

Miroku: could we get some of your finest champagne?

Satski: um, sir, this is Pizza Hut...

Kirara: NO MORE BOOZE! He'll have some Sprite.

Kirara: I'll have a Coke, and you Sango?

Sango: I'll have a Diet Coke, thanks!

Satsuki: will that be all?

Kirara: Breadsticks? What about you and this dummy's pizza?

Satsuki: well usually people only get one pizza total...

Kirara: Well the man here eats like a bear and I'm a youkai... And Sango just doesn't share her pizza... Sometimes..

Satsuki: alright...

Sango: I'll have a pepperoni pizza

Miroku: I'll take pepperoni as well

Kirara: As I said the double cheese is mine. And we'll also have a basket of breadsticks.

-moments later-

Everyone: *gets their fucking pizza and starts devouring it*

Sango: *is already done*

Miroku: FUCIFNGHDIIHHJ DUDURBDDKDF

Kirara: Miroku you fool, don't talk with your mouth full!

Sango: I'll be right back *heads to the ladies room*

Sango: *comes running back out* GUYS THERES SOME MAGICAL PORTAL SHIT OR SOMETHING BACK THERE

Kirara: I KNEW IT!

All three: *race to the fucking bathroom and into the fucking portal*

Kirara: HOLY FUCK!

TBC


	38. Death, DesTruCTION, DIARRHEA

Crazy Girls

Chapter 38: Death, DesTruCTION, DIARRHEA

A quick refresh: Sango, Miroku, and Kirara stumbled upon a portal in the bathroom of Pizza Hut

Kirara: HOLY FUCK!

Sango: omg where are we...?

Kirara: In a magical world I guess. Watch out for anything, you never know with Kagome I'm assuming that she's-

Miroku: AHHH! *splash of water*

Miroku: HELP ME!

Kirara: YOU IGNORANT FOOL! *drags his sorry ass out of a largely populated shark pit*

Sango: are you oka- *disappears into thin air*

Kirara: DAMNIT!

Miroku: SANGO MY LOVE! WHERE ARE YOU!

Miroku: *randomly super dramatic*

Kirara: This was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, idea... Idea... I... I kea... Wait, what? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Miroku: *on his knees looking up at the sky* WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Kirara: DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?! *starts singing and breakdancing*

Miroku: *gets up and starts running* WE HAVE TO FIND HER!

*dramatic music starts playing out of nowhere*

Kirara: DID YOU JUST INTERRUPT ME DURING MY SONG SOLO?!

Kirara: YOUR HEAD IS MINE MONK! GOD DAMNIT DON'T IGNORE ME!

Kirara: *runs after him*

Shippo: *in the penthouse watching these events on tv while eating popcorn* Kagome, look! Aunt Sango n Uncle Miroku are on television!

Kagome: *distracted from her ranting* WHAT?! *runs to the TV* DAMNIT THEY RAN IN MY PORTAL!

Shippo: Sango disappeared! Oh no! And Miroku is yelling about it! Look, Kirara's breakdancing!

Kagome: I THOUGHT THAT WAS SANGO'S JOB!.AND I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE GOING OUT FOR PIZZA!

Yashie: babe, what's all the yelling about?

Kag: SHUT UP STUPID DOG! I'LL YELL IF I FUCKING WANT TO!

Shippo: they're running now!

Kag: DAMN DAMN DAMN!

Sango: *tied to a post on a pirate ship that's on land for some strange reason*

Miroku: *out of breath* UNHAND NY WIFE VILE BEASTS!

Naraku: *comes out of nowhere* SUP BISHESSS?!

Sango: WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS IM GONNA CHOP OFF ALL OF YOUR LIMBS AND FEED THEM TO YOU ONE BY ONE!

Naraku: you can't do a thing to me because I DONT FUCKING EXIST HAHA

Kirara: DIDN'T YOU FUCKING DIE?!

Naraku: after being devoured by four year olds I became a holographic image that only haunts people when they're involved in fun activities like playing cards or summoning Satan

Kirara: we aren't playing cards and we haven't summoned Satan moron.

Naraku: you guys decided to fuck around in this magical world, which also counts

Kirara: Why can't you just, oh I dunno, SHOVE A DILDO UP YOUR ASS?!

Naraku: I DONT HAVE AN ASS! HAHA!

Kirara: FUCK YOU HOLOGRAM GREASY HAIRED BASTARD!

Miroku: *after catching his breath, runs over to Sango*

*commence dramatic make out session*

Kirara: Could you not?

Miroku: but I want to!

Sango: could you at least, um, UNTIE ME FIRST

Kirara: Screw this. *flips Naraku off and stalks into the shrubbery to god knows where*

Shippo: And now Kirara walked off. Mommy what did she do with her fingers at Naraku?

Kag: I'll tell you when you're two hundred

Shippo: *pouts*

Miroku: *unties Sango and commences makeout session again*

Naraku: *rolls eyes and starts singing*

MAMAAAAA OOHOOOHOOOOOOOH DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY! IF IM NOT BACK AGAIN THIS TIME TOMORROW-

Sango: do you fucking mind

Naraku: NOPE!

Kirara: *from...somewhere* SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Kagome: They stole my spontaneousness...

Kagome: *sulks in a dark loner corner*

Naraku: *screams like a small child*

Shippo: mommy the pirate ship is collapsing!

Kag: NOOOOOOO! I IMPORTED THAT SHIT FROM FUCKING NEVERLAND! DAMNIT!

Sango: MIROKU WILL YOU STOP TRYNA FUCK ME FOR TWO SECONDS AND GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE?!

Kirara: EVERYONE INTO THE FUCKING PORTAL! Naraku you can stay here no one likes you.

*suddenly there's fucking water under the pirate ship and they all get soaking wet*

Kirara: I am going to kill her

Sango, Miroku, Kirara: *leave the Pizza Hut bathroom soaking wet*

*also it's the middle of the night and the Pizza Hut is dark and empty*

Miroku: WE'RE TRAPPED!...AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE PIZZA!

Sango: well at least no one was here to see this...

Sango: WAIT THERE ARE FUCKING SECURITY CAMERAS

Kirara: So they'll see three wet people who got out of a portal. Big deal

Sango: we are trapped in here tho...

Miroku: *looks at Sango and smirks*

Sango: GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!

Kirara: No rated R activities while I'm in the vicinity

Miroku: fine, I guess we'll just sit here aaaall night and accomplish NOTHING

Kirara: Why can't I just use Rin's old phone and get us out of here? *more convenient than her laptop*

Miroku: BECAUSE YOU CANT!

Sango: why are you so riled up

Kirara: Insolent pup. Fuck you I'm out.

Sango: I'm leaving too

Miroku: NO YOU CANT!

Sango: Forget it; in never going to have sex with you in an empty Pizza Hut

Miroku: that's not what I was implying...

Sango: why should we stay here when we can go home and sleep in comfortable beds?

Miroku: because our dinner plans were ruined!

Sango: it's not a big deal!

Miroku: but it is a big deal!

Kirara: it is not a big deal!

Miroku: yes it is!

Sango: why?!

Miroku: BECAUSE I WAS GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU!

Kirara: Well I'm just gonna- *disappears*

Sango: what?!

Miroku: fuck... *gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring* Sango will you spend the rest of your life with me?

Sango: we're already married

Miroku: yeah, but it didn't count!

Miroku: Dont leave me hanging my love

Sango: I... Okay, fine! Sure. We're already mostly living together anyways and we're already actually married so haha why not let's get married!

Miroku: YAY

Sango: *kisses him* wait but this still doesn't mean we're gonna have sex in Pizza Hut

Miroku: I know...

Shippo: mommy look at the tv now! Miroku just proposed!

Kagome: I can see that

Kirara: *shows up at the penthouse* Kagome do you seriously have access to the Pizza Hut security cameras?!

Kag: Nooooo

Kirara: oh, and WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT A FREAKING PORTAL IN THE PIZZA HUT BATHROOM

Kag: Cause I was on drugs or something?

Shippo: we were watching you guys on television!

Kirara: we could've DIED! Well actually probably not since Naraku's weak af

Kagome: too bad!

*back at Sango's place*

Kag: *chucks a wedding dress at Sango*

Sango: wait how did you know we were getting married?!

Kag: You're on TV!

Sango: actual tv or just your tv...?

Kag: Actual TV

Miroku: so if we DID have sex in the Pizza Hut...

Sango: GODDAMNIT MIROKU LET IT GO

Kag: Pervert

Miroku: I was only going to say that I'm GLAD that we didn't because I don't want the whole world to see you naked, my love!

Sango: oh shut up!


	39. Second Thoughts & Verbal Shots: PARIS

Crazy Girls

Episode 39: Second Thoughts and Verbal Shots: PARIS

Panda: ((Oh btw did we ever mention Kohaku bc I was gonna say that he like went off to college or something since we haven't mentioned him in forever

Fire: ((He's living in Venasulia with Souta. Both idiots moved out after the excorsicm cause they didn't wanna deal with the crazy shit...

Panda: ((ok...

Kagome: *runs into Sangos bedroom* BITCH I JUST WON FUCKING TICKETS TO PARIS!

Sango: OMG OMG OMG!

Miroku: DO THEY HAVE PEANUTS ON THE PLANE?!

Sango: WHO CARES?! WERE GOING TO PARIS!

Miroku: IM HUNGRY. Wait... *runs downstairs and reheats a BLT from lunch and eats it*

Kag: idiot

Sango: *grabs Kagome's shirt collar and shakes her* KAGOME I CANT GET MARRIED OMG

Kag: *dizzily* W-Why

Sango: B-BECAUSE!

Kag: You're already hitched

Sango: I know, but it didn't feel REAL! This is REAL and I can't do it!

Kag: Then tell the moron downstairs to start acting like a real husband

Sango: no that isn't it! I don't want to be married!

Kag: Why not?

Sango: BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER!

Kag: Huh? I don't understand... And I'M supposed to be the hormonal wreck.

Sango: well yesterday I was at McDonalds cuz I was hungry after doing some shopping, and I saw this guy and let me tell you he was like the hottest guy ever like I couldn't breathe

Kag: I thought that you thought that Roky was breathtakingly hot

Sango: yeah but like not breathtaking like this guy!

Kag: Do you have a picture?

Sango: pfffft no... *pulls out her phone and shows you*

Miroku: *walks in* What's that?

Sango: *screaming*

-four days later/on the plane-

Kagome: GET THIS KID TO STOP KICKING ME SEAT!

Kag: IT'S LIKE THE TRIP TO VEGAS ALL OVER AGAIN!

Miroku: hey Sango you wanna do it in the bathroom?

Sango: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT EVERY TIME

Kag: CAUSE HE'S GOT BLUE BALLS!

Sango: SHUT UP KAGOME

Yashie: *already asleep and drooling*

Kag: *mumbles cuss words and snuggles up to Yashie who unconsciously shifts to accommodate her bettering*

Miroku: aren't they so cute

Sango: *staring into space* huh? Oh, yeah

Shippo: SAVAG-*is silenced by Yashie*

Yashie: Your mother is trying to sleep. *goes back to sleep*

Sango: wait Shippo came with us...?

Kag: *wakes up* he's been here the whole time..

Sango: I haven't really been paying attention

Kag: GET OFF MY MAN YOU SLUT! *yelling at flight attendant*

Flight attendant: *is practically sprawled on Yashie*

Kag: SHE'S DRAPING HER WHORISH ASS ALL OVER MY MAN!

Yashie: Ma'am kindly get off, I have a wife and a child on the way

Flight attendant: *is the girl from Miroku's obsessive mob/waitress from Pizza Hut*

Flight attendant: tell me everything you know

Kag: Fuck you. *knocks her unconscious*

Kag: Who knew a preggers woman could lay her ass out?

Miroku: we can't just have a knocked out flight attendant in the middle of the plane

Kag: I can solve this. *grabs the woman and some guy flight attendant and shoves them in the bathroom locking the door* There. All solved.

Miroku: but that means that the bathroom is taken for the whole flight!

Sango: MIROKU WERE NEVER GONNA DO IT IN THE PLANE BATHROOM

Miroku: BUT WHAT IF I HAVE TO GO PEE PEE?!

Kag: *chucks a diaper at him* Use that

Narrator: SKIPPING TO THE PLANE LANDING!

Miroku: ENGLISH LANGUAGE~!

Kag: WE'RE IN FRANCE MORON!

Sango: *somehow speaking fluent French*

Miroku: Sango you're so sexy when you speak French omg

Sango: why are you talking like a teenage girl

Kag: Because the diaper is cutting off blood circulation. Which means he's also losing blood going to his brain

Kag: *in a professor outfit* I'MA SEXY PROFESSOR...WHO'SPREGNANT!

Sango: GUYS THEY LOST MY FUCKING LUGGAGE AGAIN

Kag: Well... I kinda saw this coming... *has a duffle bag and chucks it at Sango* I kinda thought ahead..

Sango: Merci Kagome!

Kag: No problem.. *totally can't understand French*

Miroku: where should we go first? This is supposed to be the most romantic city...

Kag: If you say the boats on the river I swear I'm going to kill you cause those are in Italy.

Miroku: that's Venice, and I was thinking more like fancy cafes

Sango: we should probably get to the hotel first...

Kag: Sango, you can speak French. Call a cab

Sango: you don't need to know French to call a cab...

Kag: You gotta tell them where to go in French DUH!

Sango: *calls a cab and all that shit*

Kag: THE CABBIE IS RYUUKOSUSEI?!

Ryuu: fuck

Kag: I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD TOO!

Ryuu: Why are you screaming?

Miroku: She's pregnant

Sango: can you just get us to the hotel before she claims another victim

Kag: SPARTA!

-after much unnecessary banter and death threats they finally arrive at the hotel-

Kag: WELL FUCK YOU TOO! *screams as cab pulls away*

Miroku: well that went...well...

Yashie: No kidding...

Kag: *screaming at secretary* I WON A FUCKING CONTEST WHERE'S MY ROOM AND SHIT?!

Sango: *calmly translates in French*

Kag: I WILL RULE NARNIA!

Miroku: Please shut her up. Inuyasha your wife is giving me a headache

Yashie: *kisses her*

Yashie: well that was the most innocent kiss we've had in a long time

Kag: Yeah... Feels weird...

Kag: You didn't give me a green bottle did you..?

Yashie: No yellow. Whyy?

Kag:...No reason.. *passes out*

Sango: *gets the room keys* guys there are people waiting in line behind us

Yashie: *has Kags passed out in his arms and follows Sango*

Miroku: *carrying all of their bags* thanks for the help...

Yashie: My wife is passed out and pregnant. I can't help

Miroku: Sango?

Sango: do you even want to think of having sex in a Paris hotel room?

Miroku: *walks faster*

-awkward elevator sequence-

Yashie: POTATOES

-after they get to the rooms which are across the hall from each other and unpack-

Yashie: *places Kag down on the bed*

Miroku: so, my dearest; what shall we accomplish first?

Sango: you're certainly in a good mood...

Kag: CADET STAND AT ATTENTION!

Miroku: let's go do some cliche romantic shit!

Kag: ROMANCE ISN'T CLICHE

Sango: ROMANCE IS ALWAYS CLICHE

Kag: NO IT ISN'T

Sango: okay fine; cliche Paris shit

Kag: Time for a nap

Miroku: we just got here!

Kagome: GOODNIGHT

Miroku: I guess it's just me and you Sango...unless Inuyasha wants to tag along...

Yashie: *passed out cuddling Kag*

Miroku: great!

Sango: uhuh...

Kag: *suddenly springs up and scares the living fuck out of Miroku* YO SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'M GONNA MOLLYWHOP YOU BITCH!

Miroku: gahh! Go back to sleep...

Kag: NOPE!

Kag: I WANT PIZZA!

Sango: if you aren't going to sleep then we should all do something together!

Yashie: WELL I AIN'T NEVER, BEEN THE BARBIE GIRL TYPE! I CAN'T SWIG THAT SWEET CHAMPAGNE ID RATED DRINK BEER A NIGHT!

Yashie: IM A REDNECK WOMAN I AIN'T NO HIGH CLASS BROAD!

Kag: I MARRIED A WOMAN?! WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW THE HELL AM I PREGNANT THEN?!

Miroku: right... So what should we do...?

Yashie: COSMETICS STAND!

Kag: *slaps him...or...her?*

Kag: FOOD COURT! Let's stuff our faces!

Yashie: Stuff? Faces? Why would I do that? I am classy. Too classy to do that

Kag: Uhh...Baby golf?

Shippo: Is that a thing?

Kag: IT IS IN PORTUGAL!

Yashie: But Cassandra~! We're not IN Portugal!

Kag: STOP TALKING LIKE A VALLEY GIRL!

Sango: OK THATS IT! WERE GOING TO GO DO SOME TOURIST SHIT AND THEN EAT AT A FANCY CAFE LIKE REAL PARIS TOURISTS AND I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT

Kag: Kay! *all cheerful*

Kag: *mouth watering* I wonder if the café has chocolate covered hot dogs... *practically drooling*

Sango: *satisfied smirk*

Kag: *cheerful grin* Yashie, Roku; hurry up or you'll be left behind!

Miroku: *runs up and puts arm around Sango's waist* ready for some chocolate hotdogs *salutes Kagome*

Kag: YES CADET!

Sango: *also salutes*

Kag: Yashie hurry up or you'll get left behind!

Yashie: *runs clumsily and falls down*

Kag: *laughing hysterically*

Yashie: *salutes more clumsily*

Miroku: let's go do some tourist shit!

Kag: TOURIST SHIT!

Shippo: Kagome, something doesn't smell right with you.

Kag: ARE YOU SAYIN I STINK?!

Shippo: No I meant that there's a scent that is new. Not the one from the baby, a different one

Miroku: care to explain, Kagome?

Kagome: I don't smell anything

Yashie: It smells like... The fuck?!

Yashie: I found the scent of RedBull and rum

Kag: I haven't drank anything in three months. Maybe two

Yashie: So why do you smell like Red Bull and rum?

-TBC-


End file.
